Venting

[Jack112288]

I haven’t been on here in a while I thought I was okay I thought I was able to work on things alone in the word some days are better then others more so bad then good I’m face back into a situation that’s causing me nothing but hurt and I’m offered to walk away because I’m afraid of being alone I have a daughter but it seems as if that’s not enough I’ve been knowing this guy for over 15 years he’s been after me for over 15 years I finally gave him a Chance because I hear good things about him but he’s showing me everything that’s hurtful he did a whole 360 once we had sex and now I’m chasing him there’s not respect or understanding coming from him I’m waiting around for a call or text he goes days without reaching out then when he do we basically talking about the same thing then have sex and he’s MIA again it’s really breaking me because I thought this was something he really did want but he’s showing me different I wanna walk away because I see all the red flags now and I don’t wanna make this my everyday life with him I know I’ll have to allow myself to hurt in order to get over this but I know at the end I’ll be okay just wanted to vent before I start work I need to find a positive outlook on things because I’m feeling really low stupid and embarrassed because I let myself get to this point when he’s not losing sleep or missing out on his life or having fun I wanna wipe my tears away and keep it moving but it’s so hard to stop the tears when your hurt I need help I need to shake this and move on with my life the same way he did

[Blackdog1]

I think you're making the right decision in walking away.

I've been in your shoes (more than once)

It's better you see his true colors now before you became invested even deeper.

I know its cliche, but do something nice for yourself today.

Take care.

[Jack112288 in reply to Blackdog1]

Thanks I really did need those kind words it’s so hard to walk away because feelings are really involved but I have to put myself first because he’s not doing so we have the same talk every week and it keeps happening so he’s showing me if I stay around what I’ll have to deal with

[Blackdog1 in reply to Jack112288]

Yea its hard, I know.

I've been trying to get people to treat me better and its going against my deeply ingrained habits.

I'll give you an example.

This week I had a 9 am appt with a handyman to look at my downstairs bathroom's plumbing. He called me at 3 pm. No explanations no texts.

(I wanted to ask him : Are you a Rolling Stone ? Are you the president of Russia? Who else gets to be 5 hours late and keep their job?)

So I fired him.

I felt a little uncomfortable because he's a nice person (probably) and I'm a nice person (usually and at times compulsively). Being a hard ass feels uncomfortable because its new territory for me. But my gut tells me its right. It's not demanding to expect adults to keep their word.

[Sprinkle1]

Listen to your inner voice, it seldom lets us down. He is a looser, he is using you, cut him loose. There are decent men out there, so go thru your hurt feelings, let them heal, then set your life up the way you want it to go. We do not need males, that is an old story. I have been married 3 times to looser's, I am quite happy being by myself, I have been by myself 25 years and love it. I wish you well, send you strength, energy, peace, love n hugs......