struggling

[purplecat223]

A while ago I had this really really intense intrusive thought, which was really distressing and scary. My ocd told me if I wanted the intrusive thought to stop for a couple of seconds and if i didn't want the intrusive thought to come true, I needed to do a compulsion of saying a rude thing about a loved one (which isn't true and I don't think)to myself in private. I gave into the compulsion because the intrusive thought was unbearable and said the thing, as my ocd wouldn't leave me alone until I did. I feel awful because of this compulsion as I would never want to say rude things and it makes me feel really really upset and guilty. Should I feel guilty from this compulsion? ,(I know reassurance seeking is bad).Thankyou for reading.

[spongebob57]

Hi there. I don’t suffer from ocd and I don’t want to diminish what you’re going through, but maybe this will help

Last night I dreamt my 15 year old had mixed two types of pasta together and then when I tried to make dinner, I didn’t have the right sauce (stupid, I know, but bear with me). So dinner was a disaster and I took it out on my son terribly. I was swearing at him, telling him how useless he was. It felt so real and I was actually upset when I woke up.

But here’s the thing that might help you... he doesn’t know it happened. The only person who does, is me. So just like you said this terrible thing that you didn’t mean, nobody knows about it. You haven’t *actually* hurt anyone so you don’t need to feel bad about it.

Just like a bad dream, it’s done and gone and no one needs to know.

Hope this helps xx

[Loulass]

Not it isnt bad at all. I get bad thoughts and feel guilty. X