A Divorced Dads thoughts.: She just... - Anxiety and Depre...

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A Divorced Dads thoughts.

MABER_FETT profile image
9 Replies

She just came to pick up the kids, doesnt care that its my Holiday.

I never dreamt I would become an afterthought in my children's lives.

I feel like every time I see them we are drifting further and further apart.

Im starting to feel like I dont want to keep hiking up this emotional mountain.

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MABER_FETT profile image
MABER_FETT
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9 Replies

Im so sorry you have to take this journey. My oldest son went thru a bad divorce with a woman who doesnt play fair, about 8 yr ago. I know you must feel defeated and she probably isnt helping to support your position in their lives, but I must say you matter greatly. Fight for your time with them, even if it doesnt seem that they care. Dont ever let them think you dont care. It may be years later, when they are adults before they see how important you are to them. But do not let them ever say “ my dad gave up on us”, “ my dad didnt care”, “ I never had a dad”. Be the great dad, even if they walk away from you. Again, I am so sorry. It seems like guys get screwed alot in divorces. How old are your kids?

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply to

Great advice Hoski.... :) xx

in reply to Agora1

Thanks. My hubby had 2 little girls when we got married, his wife was a cheater, got full custody( 45 yr ago) and he had to fight hard to stay in their lives. He didnt get to see them alot but now they are 47 and 49 and are very close. They now understand the games their mom played. I think it is hugely important to have both parents as present as possible.

Hoski worded it perfectly. Keep going and make every effort you can. I split with my daughters dad when they were 8 and 11... my eldest went off the rails at 15 and we struggled for years but I was always there. My younger one went very withdrawn. Their dad never really talked with them or got involved. He’d give them bit of money every now and then but cut the visits back bit by bit. He phones them now once every few months.

Keep being involved. Phone them. Talk to them. Let them know how much you care and that you’ll be there always. It’s such a shame your ex wife is using them in this way.

But you sound a good bloke so don’t give up

in reply to

Yes. Even when they reject you, be there.

Your children will always need you , that is for sure.....

Your ex wife does not need, you she left ... If she is stepping on your toes, it is because you let it happen.....

You don't have to be perfect to be a parent. We make mistakes.

We are human..

But as for children, " They don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."

Don't give up, everyone is worth something, even if they don't know what it is......

in reply to

Yes, well said. Parenting is often a thankless job but it is the glue that puts kids together.

Tara52 profile image
Tara52

Don't give up on your kids. They probably feel distant because they are hurting and don't know how to process it all. It's not wise to run from the pain because it grows and catches up with you and gets harder to deal with later. Be open & honest with your kids, let them vent, be a safe person for them. You both will be healthier and stronger if you face your feelings and express them without anger or blaming.Praying for wisdom & strength for you.

Marshall64 profile image
Marshall64 in reply to Tara52

Well put and I agree.

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