Have you ever been grateful for a "fl... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Have you ever been grateful for a "flaw"?

Blackdog1 profile image
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My former college professor said it was a good thing I was shy, because people would feel more comfortable opening up to me, rather than the stereotypical aggressive journalist.

I remember reading in Ghandi's biography, he referred to shyness as his 'shield' because it forced him to really think things through before speaking.

Do you have something you consider a weakness and you have found a silver lining in it?

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Blackdog1
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Yes I'd say turning into an introvert after I went on disability in 2008. I'd lost the comraderie at work, lost friends because I was ill. I've always been extremely shy thus being an introvert helped me explore my thoughts and feelings and process them in a different way, kind of like my brain being re wired as apposed to the way extroverts think and feel and process. Black and White. I enjoy time to myself and being comfortable with that. I do get lonely and have friends I do get together with.

I guess I don't see it as a flaw per say however sometimes I'd like to get out more but it's too peopley, hence lonliness ensues and rears its ugly head 🤗😊♥️⚓🌻

Blackdog1 profile image
Blackdog1 in reply to

I read a book on self compassion 4 months ago and slowly Ive been incorporating " reframing "things- past experiences, aspects of my personality,etc. Well-- first its awareness, acceptance and sometimes reframing...

in reply to Blackdog1

May I ask the name of the book? I enjoy reading.

Blackdog1 profile image
Blackdog1 in reply to

Sure, its Self Compassion by Kristin Neff

in reply to Blackdog1

Thank you Blackdog1

Ive been told Im too trusting. I dont know if I am. I do see people as a blank slate until they give me a reason not to trust them. And if someone tells me something bad about a person I dont know, I try to make my own mind up and not pre judge them

Blackdog1 profile image
Blackdog1 in reply to

To me that's a really nice quality.

in reply to Blackdog1

It has gotten me in trouble a couple times when I was wrong... but Id rather be too trusting that too untrusting I think.

Blackdog1 profile image
Blackdog1 in reply to

Yes me too. I used to be so trusting. I'd like to get that back. :)

in reply to Blackdog1

👍🏻

saracar profile image
saracar

I think being self critical because the ideas I criticize myself are goals. So if I let go of negativity then they motivate me. Even if I only do or change one thing.

Also being sensitive/emotional is both a flaw and a positive trait. The main negative thing about it is expecting others to understand it. The main positive part is I can understand others’ emotions and sometimes help.

And yes self compassion fits with both.

Thanks to all for good posts

Blackdog1 profile image
Blackdog1 in reply to saracar

Sometimes I think of my self critical side of me as a person- like an old school librarian hushing everyone-

I tell myself that she just puts a high value on certain things, its not just pure self-flagellation.

My ultimate goal is to let all the different sides of me have their space and see that they all have their logic.

:)

Artistic1 profile image
Artistic1

Hi, I’ve thought of my kindness as a weakness because I can be very trusting too and people can take advantage of me but I’m trying to believe that kindness is beautiful , thank you for the post opportunity Blackdog1 🙏🏽🌞

Blackdog1 profile image
Blackdog1 in reply to Artistic1

It is an asset really. The world benefits from more of it!

in reply to Artistic1

I guess kindness and trusting make us more vulnerable but I think its necessary.

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