So I am 40, 3 months separated, 3 beautiful children, was married 18 years together 20, it’s not going to resolve its self. I have many depression and anxiety disorders and lower back injury that I am on strong pain meds for. Most days I feel emotionally and physically numb.
Is there hope for me? I feel old, unwanted, alone and I have fallen in love (never really fell out of) love with a girl I met at college some 22, give or take years ago, she has a partner but still has the same feelings for me, she says. I would wait for eternity for her to become available again but she does not want me to miss out on any opportunity because I am hung on her. That’s my choice but is she right?
I don’t know what the future holds but in the words of Cher from that dodgy dance track of the late 90’s “Do you believe in life after love?” Am I strong enough? Should I wait? Should I just see what tomorrow brings?
I would say live your life. If it's meant to be, it will be. Don't keep thinking about it and making yourself miserable, let go, and things happen when you least expect it.
A similar situation happened to me, broken marriage at 41, brought my three children up on my own for seven years.
I did have someone I went back to who Id always loved, but it didnt work out for me going back. I met somebody new in a music venue, always loved my music, so I went back to that... Long story short I am now happily married again... My children grown up and lots of little ones.
Don't despair, sometimes these things are meant to happen, you will be alright again, one day at a time, some of those days will be hard, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, just hang on....
Thank-you. Your share is inspiring. Music is a real passion for me too. I am trying to avoid song that remind me of her but I like them too so it's not always easy.
New music is good because it's mine and mine alone. Good job I have eclectic taste in music.
I may be 40, my back feels 70, but, according to the last full bloods I had done, I have the Liver and Kidney function of a 20 year old accordy to the Doc so that's good. Mental health is next on the list, tele-conversation with my new shrink so I hope to switch my antidepressants because Ven is a real bitch when it comes to withdrawal symptoms coming in hours of a missed dose.
Talking therapy is good. Sorry about your back, back pain can be so debilitating.
Are you in the UK? Only I think music venues are different in the US, I only mean from the point of view that I could go to a pub where a band was playing, and if I didn't know anyone there it didn't matter, I didn't stand out as Billy no mates in the crowd, they were all like minded people and I got to know a few of them quickly, and they are still my friends to this day, and we go to gigs and festivals together, at our great ages! 😂
I had my own friends at that time, but most of them were married, and that makes you feel like an out cast.
I know what the terrible yearning for someone can feel like, just an incessant ache. It will just tense you up and that won't help your back.
I know it's hard everyday right what with coping with the break up, seeing your kids, feeling alone. My friend said to me once it won't always be like this, but I didn't believe her I was so bereft. Bu t I had to get on with my job and I had two sons at school and daughter at uni. I would sometimes cry at night, and some days I would wake and wonder how I was going to get through another day.
But your children will keep you going, they might not say, but they need you.
My friend was right, my life did change, its that old cliche' time... And now I'm happier than I ever was.
Thank you. The ex is preventing me seeing the children and that's the killer right there. She believes it's in the best interest but I am bound by an NMO from Family court not to contact them save for through an advocate and if I do see them it's only supervised but the funniest thing about that... my brother is the accepted 3rd party when I do see them, with the virus I thought facetime could work but SS say they (the kids) don't want to speak to me right now. Outch.
I do live in the UK but I am known for my Americanisms, store not shops, Doc not GP et;el but hey that's Netflix and Primes fault! I will be ok. Constant waining is confusing my stomach, am I hungry or lonley or craving the embrace if the one who got away aka my first crush. (I was 17-18) and shy but overcompensated and ended up giving a bravado that I could not forfill. Meh.
The ole cliché time, yep time will tell.
This must be painful only allowed to see kids thru third party. Expect you find a drop wine in between food helps you relax but you can get referred pain to the back from other reasons than kidneys. The liver and gut respond to stress and adapting your lifestyle cutting out irritants such as red wine and meats might help. If you have been lifting something heavy or one of your lumbar discs is out of alignment this can cause pain so a chiropractor or osteopath might help. Chiropractor's work on the nerves and use x days whereas osteopaths work in bones tissues and blood supply. Expect you feel miserable with no control and only you know what the trigger is that has broken your relationship but sure you will come through .
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I was apparently an alcoholic according to the ex-mrs but I haven't touched a drop since 18th Feb. I am not a fan of wine or wine hates me? I used to have beer (Corona or Crabbies Ginger Beer) most days but I never bought it. I did not leave the house in over a year.
Now I am without a full time carer as I was before it's harder to live but I haven't taken any overdoses dispute having access to huge amounts of possible candidates. I keep them locked in my personal safe. And it's as far from my main place of resting so I would have to put in effort.... So no off the cuff decisions or psychosis indused behaviour for me.
L1, L2 DDD, and bone marrow edema controlled now by morphine (unless I want to exercise) lowered from 120mg qd to 80mg qd. So yesterday I phoned my GP to see if I could go up to my historical dose but rightfully so was reluctant and referred me to pain management instead which is pot luck depending on how I get on with someone unknown to me.
[Edit: add info below]
Clarify; alcoholic drinks most days, suffers withdrawal symptoms greater than 'hair of the dog's and that's not me? Just water since between 3-4 ltr a day to keep the toxins out, and they were concerned when I drank 7 ltrs in one day while in hospital they put me on a fluid drip... OMG. No perfectly fine so shortage of salts, sugars or electrolytes here
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Tens cutaneous electronic stimulus is helpful to some. Alcohol as you know can damage organs affect the heart. Pain levels might be increased by neuropathy. The nerves are damaged . This happens with diabetes too. Did you have tests for diabetes recently? As you drink water frequently is this because you are thirsty or because you want to clear the system from toxins? Alcohol or sweet drinks such as colas can raise blood sugar even if they are sweetened. The sweeteners can be stored as sugar through metabolism. Most foods revert to sugar including dairy with milk sugar lactase in yoghurt milk even low fat . I only mention this as had years of battling with cholesterol and sugar and changed my diet radically after a period of poor health, with diabetes. Exercise is the best way of helping your pain but this might be catch 22 pain makes it difficult . Can you walk without pain? You have been through a dark time and the resulting depression with pain must make you feel low. I think you are very brave. Are you able to talk to any of your children for a few minutes on Skype? I am so sorry you feel alone during this crisis. Its great you can share these experiences on the website you are not the only one with this experience. Just hope you can do some exercise to help pain management. Surgeries may loan tens units for pain control . They are hand held mobile like devices and many people get relief.
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A TENS machine was something I was looking into. When I was born I weighed 12lbs2oz and the midwife's and doctors were convinced I was diabetic. I don't have diabetes but my mother has type 2. My cholesterol is controlled by diet and 20mg atorvastatin a day, I have ramapril 2.5mg to control my blood pressure as it's high often. I had full bloods done 3 months ago and my Kidney and Liver Function tests were readings that the doctor said was "you have the kidney and liver functions of a 20 year old", I am 40 all other bloods fine and after a 3 day nil by mouth accept for fluids, water only. My blood sugar was stable at 4 over the entire fasting. The blood tests were almost exactly the same from the blood taken on admission to the final bloods taken the day I was discharged? I used to drink beer but it we as because it was supplied to me so I drank it, since the breakup and hospitalisation (she left with the 3 kids while I was in hospital)
Anxiety and side effects of some of my prescription medications cause a dry mouth so I often have to drink to maintain hydrated and stop my lips and mouth drying out. I do eat more protein than carbs and fat but ensure I have a good amount of fibre from vegatables legumes and grains etc.
Pain does me prevent me doing as much as I want to, I can excersise without too much discomfort as long as I listen to my body and stop when it's too much. I know I want to build strength as more muscle mass means higher metabolic rate and less effort and strain on my back. I phoned my GP yesterday so she referred me back to pain management which is better than upping the morphine I am on as 80mg a day is alot, I was on 120mg daily upto my admission to Orthopedics ward via ambulance to A&E. So I have managed to cut 33% on my opiate intake which can only be a good thing.
Thank you for calling me brave I do try and I have decided it's the only way to tackle the problems I am facing. I am lonley but I am ok because Ok am rediscovering myself. I might have to take legal advice about access to the kids as she left the worst way because she reported me for alleged common assault against my eldest daughter when there no situation for me to defend because it was untrue and just a way to jump the council housing ladder and I am sure she was cheating in the last 6-9 months of the relationship and had a history of the same when we had been married 7 years she left with the kids but she found the grass was not greener on the otherside and I had made the decision of taking her back after 3 months, not this time. Even is she begs, I won't break on my decision, it's over for me and her but I am paying towards the childrens upkeep and I will never give up on them.
I feel better now than I did at first and I am finding support in unexpected ways given this strange new world be are experiencing due to the darn COVID-19 situation.
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It seems you have been the unfortunate victim of your relationship and she has wilfully tried to cut you out of the picture. Pleased you have check ups and a good practice where you live with the best of care. As you indicate pain management is important and as you have been under the care of an orthopedic specialist no doubt he has explained your health condition. Some people get muscle pain through cholesterol drugs. We both tried one tablet but they made us ill. If you look up your drugs on the yellow card report scheme without giving personal details
Graphs and tables show the side effects of the n
Meds you are taking on every organ in the body. Yellow card UK government scheme has an objective analysis of drugs and it is an eye opener.
As you are not diabetic then have you had thyroid tests? You can have muscular weakness from this problem and pain. You sound really positive and with pain management checks to see if drugs have unwanted side effects this may help. It seems to the orthopaedic problem which is playing up.? I can see you are adapting to a new way of life but the
Problem with untrue allegations is you find it difficult to clear your name. It saddens me when I realise how your life is blighted but the emotional distress when your wife has worked on you to stay away
would make you worse if you were to ask for legal help and it mean your daughter would be forced to make a statement against you.. Suppose she won't let you send mail to kids for birthdays.
Think you are doing fine. Keep going strong . There's no harm in going to pubs if you drink non alcoholic beer etc. and getting about to meet people will be helped by being free from pain. This lockdown is tedious but caution is necessary to avoid the virus. Take care
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The NMO says I can relay messages, make requests only through the mother in law, I did not ask about what I could do for Birthdays but I ordered the new David Walliams book, "Slime" without asking from Amazon and shipped it in the kids names c/o of the mother in law and according to her they got the package. So I will order cards online from Funky Pidgion or Moon Pig direct to them via the in laws address even presents, I can be persistent without being harrasing or causing distress.
The thing that saddens me the most is she (the ex) abused the measures put in place to protect women and children from domestic abuse, people who genuinely need help might not because of her actions.
Shit sticks to a blanket and it's hard to clean off, despite not being charged simply told I was free to go with no further action, there was no DNA evidence of me supposed spitting on my daughter in her hair, to which I took very seriously angered by as that is foul and not how a parent would act even if being told by all 3 kids to "fk off back to your room you fat sinking cnut" daily and not dealt with by my supposed wife...
I got put on a bad painful reaction and mucessle ache from Simvastin, it did not lower my LDL so I was put on Crestor aka rosuvastatin but told it was very expensive from the GPs budget so when the patent fell on Lipitor aka atorvastatin I was put on that as the generic is always so much cheaper, no leg to stand on so to say as I don't have to pay for any of my meds.
I am vunerable because I would not challenge the Mrs about things because she took everything as a personal attack on her. She forced me to have my ESA (support group) money and my enchanced rate of care and enchanced rate of PIP money paid to her account and basically used my disability money to pay for everything, only using the leftover money to buy 250g-500g of chocolate for every day. She cooked for her and the kids I was only allowed a cottage pie frozen happy meal (ready meal 88p from ASDA, supplied with bottled water and beer, the latter I imagine as an excuse to bulk out her treatment of her story. Plus her Neice is in local law enforcement so no doubt coached or 'media trained' to be able to ensure the greatest hurt in the hope I would try and commit suucide. But I decided to stop being the victim. I had an epidural and steroids were put through the kneedle, it was so painful and even 2 doses of IV fentanyl and I could feel it still a 6-7 of 10 pain, the aniestist was shocked I felt alert and very with it?
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Stitched up but still going strong. I guess the disability money with the cottage pie is the final feather in her cap but that money went to support the family. You have been punished on a daily wheel for crimes you never committed but getting stronger is a way of answering back. What she has done is stopped you from moving on independently financially but that won't stop you making friends with other gorgeous women . A toast to happier times. That,s great you can send cards and gifts thru mother in law that means your kids still are able to have you in their lives but may not be able to see you until they are of age. We never know what the future holds so we make the best of every day.
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I was the one getting mistreated, sure the money for my care and mobility supported her chocolate addiction and was spent on what she wanted. At least the kids did not suffer, she would try and the out swimming, cinema and amusement parks but I could not always benefit from that because I had such low self esteem and bursts of crippling anxiety and being confined to the bedroom I developed worsening aggoraphobia so instead of being active about the house and occasionally the garden or watch the children ride their bikes and scooters, to just being in bed devoping bedsores and all that jazz. Sad times. Buy the future will be bright and I am feeling so happy here on this forum it's great.
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Yes it is a good support website. Even if people don't want to reply they often absorb information and think about it and that helps. Expect you feel better off now without the aggro. It is awful to have this anxiety which has stopped you from getting better. So pleased you are on the mend.
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Do you get to see pain management clinician soon? Is the weather ok to have a walk? It is cooler here but sunny. No rain for several weeks . Do you get a chance to sit outside in the sun? The warmth can help pain. Hope you have a good day.
Hippies are cool! I am a Dec 79 child of the 80's with roots in many different eclectic things and tastes. Culture is not a stranger and neither is my things I still need to work on.
I only have 'big pants' (A front boxers) as it helps enchance my packaging (*cough pen15 *cough) but hey If the pains not there dancing will be done. I am a young 40 that feels old and 21 at the same time? Where's my head at? Heck anywhere is better than a ditch of curb or 6ft down, of course being 6,4.5 I would still have my head above ground at least by 4 inches!!!
I'm going through divorce myself although I have no children.
I ABSOLUTELY believe in life after love. You can live a full happy life by taking care of yourself, getting out with friends, joining hiking or some groups on say Meet-Up...Hands down, no doubt there is life after love.
You're heart must be healed from your divorce, not that it will be 100 % so you can accept a new love if you choose.
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I need to love myself again, it's strange to her a man say things like that but I know it's true. I am not who I was I am something evolving, I want to live again, feel again, love again even if it's just myself or a dog, cats are too easy, a dog would force be to go out and be sociable and meet other people. I also want to remain stable and reduce my reliance on meds, use positive coping skills and strategies.
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Sounds like you have some good insight into yourself and your goals
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Thank you, I am trying so hard not to go backwards as that would make me feel worse than taking things slowly and consistently improving mentally and physically. So far I have dropped about a 10kg and feel better for it.
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I would just say be patient with yourself and know that it takes time..don't make too many changes all at once. I think a dog would be a great companion and I don't want to see you stay in the house all the time. Take the leap..do what you're afraid of.. confront it..
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If I don't jump I won't push so I won't rush anything but I am definitely going to challenge myself everyday to be one step closer to my new beginning.
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Certainly don't rush but definitely keep moving.
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It’s been a few days, sorry for the hiatus but Friday brought a surprise Saturday crushed it and hope, today was a great day. Who needs guitars anyway?
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What do you mean, crushed your guitar?
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Your comment make me smile, I have a ukulele too, no I guess what I was saying is tho there many kinds of guitar music, the guitar is just one instrument, music is greater than the sum of it parts, some music doesn’t even need guitars to rock.
I read your info, bio however it is called. I too live by sea, mine not an ocean but often I have wished it swallow me whole for until now I have not understood that it is ok to be not ok, sure I have said that but not before believed it.
I push things away when I scare I wear masks to fit in, blame other when I don’t see their true intent. Not any more.
Nice! I am very happy for you. How did you meet if you don't mind me asking, it's a bit soon for me yet but I have not been on the market as it's said for 20 odd years!
The cliche is true Dom: the only way to love someone else is to love yourself first. Self love is hard to come by but when u do, everything opens up and gets better automatically. Take this time to delve deeper into who you are. Love yourself first. If you dont there is nothing u can offer her. She cant be your medicine. You have to be your own medicine. If u need the help to do it contact me. I can help.
Good luck
Update: I didnt even read your response up there..yes! You need to love yourself first
I would never take a new last as medicine I would want to love her as Iove myself. I am getting a bit better everyday and I speak with my parents and a couple of close friends most days and it raises me up high upon a mountain! *cough
So yes I am my medicine, I will look forward, remember who I am and see what's changed, I feel differently now, I have to look after myself as best I can without a full time carer but I am getting there.
You know a lot can happen in 3 days... I won’t be leaving for a long while, I don’t think anyone if ever well not 100%, things happen to upset the apple cart, sometimes you feel invincible sometime you don’t have all the answers and these 3 days it’s been everything and nothing and every way in between. I have a lot to learn but I can always learn. Anytime I forget myself I remember advice given to me or by me or think of another way I can help. Thank you
Stay on here with us Dom, you are getting lots of help. This is a good community.
It helped me when I was suffering bad anxiety five years ago, that was from burn out, travelling to work, staying away from home, I gave that job up three years ago and expected the panic etc to just go away, it didn't! I joined this group and have been helped and inspired so much, I am now I would say 95% better, I still have the odd blip, but that's all.
I want to stay on here and give back, help others if I can.
So, Dom one day at a time, you will be happy again and when you are let us know.
I joined in a place in the middle, it’s been 3 months since the separation, give or take, I saw my eldest Friday somewhat unexpectedly in a turn of events that left me flipped 180, everything was wrong was right and everything that was right felt wrong. Then as quickly and unexpectedly as she was there she was gone though, I was not to find out till the following day as she was supposed to be staying at my brothers, but her mum came that Friday night and took her, the same day she rang him in tears asking to stay at his. My brother too chicken to tell me.
Saturday I felt like day one again. I lashed out at myself and a friend. My friend came to visit me today, I feel ok again. What was up then down is up again, what was down is now hope. In short what a crazy three days.
I have not lived so much these three days the last three months. I am not here for understanding or sympathy but I have found empathy and something that I once thought did not exist anymore, I am staying. It’s good for me and I am good for others, and I believe in Kama and right now. I am. Me
I’m giving a totally open minded view of your situation. It’s what I believe, whether true or not, is the best view to have as hard as it may be to start to accept it. If you agree.
With you mentioning that she has feelings for you still. Remember those words and remember that nothing last forever. After 15+ marriage, yeah I don’t blame you. You are in the right spot and tell yourself how much you love YOURSELF every morning and night. You won’t get it every time but each time you do, it’s more meaningful and healing you slowly.
Now, as for her. Having a partner already after 3 months, tells me she might have come across the topic of co dependency and that frightened her. And exploration is an understandable move and she has every right as a woman and human. You feeling emotionally and physically numb, is so fucking valid and yeah dude. But don’t look at your pain everyday, look at how much further you are each day that passes and learn from the pain. As harsh as it may sound. Pain has many lessons and if your willing, learning to love it and telling yourself it’s a good feeling will make you rock solid and will find yourself with more time to, what you should start doing as soon as you possibly can, meet yourself again. Catch up and channel the love you more than likely hold dearly still , to yourself and every single thing of existence around you.
Look at the positive message from “things are exactly as they are suppose to be” go with the flow of life, not against it. It’s understandable the need to gather yourself again for the time being. But it’s very important to also keep in mind that you are a being on earth and you have your health, happiness, and purpose too. Like everyone else. You are exactly where you’re suppose to be every second, minute, hour that passes. And your doing such an amazing job with reaching out and not bottling it and hoping to get past it. You did something very hard and you should Be proud of that.
Some insight. You have something special that others don’t have. You have the ability to share and make an impact to someone who will also go through a similar situation as you are. That’s something I might not possibly even experience. But you, you have the experience of marriage, separation, getting yourself back up from such an overwhelming and heartbreaking moment in life.
All this is to say, consider the things I mentioned, I have ADHD and a difficult time understand the other side. I spend my time comparing words, gestures, body language , etc to myself and a conclusion of a situation is made and I approach it and do my best to help.
I related to this because I too, felt that I experienced love (I’m sure you were confident that it was love you felt) and before I knew it, was left in the dirt and I will admit, if I had not turned my way of thinking around and learned very slowly, to agree with other possibilities of why things are the way that they are and considering the idea of being impacted with co-dependency more than the feeling of “love”. I wouldn’t be here. 2019, the entirety of it, was the worst time of my life and I was afraid of not making it to 2020 alive.
Love yourself more if you already do, more and more each day. You are the best and most important person ever that you should love the fuck out of . You won’t ever do what is happening now to yourself. Most others will, and cold-heartedly.
You’re worth you’re own love and you deserve the same happiness that I now have the opportunity to experience as soon as I’m waking up whenever that is. There’s nothing wrong with this, fyi, and I would try and even do this, given that I was in your shoes. I can tell you have some of the strongest and best emotions to have for someone. Gain control of these emotions and reroute them to yourself. You need to. Be selfish bro. She is not meant for your best feelings at this moment. You are meant for them at this moment.
I promise you if you can get yourself to do that. You’ve proved to yourself, her, everyone that, love isn’t wasted on one person. It comes around always. If love were visible, I think it would fill up our universe more than once.
There is more than just hope for you man! Much love and care your way. We don’t know each other and that doesn’t matter. I love ya like I do everyone else I encounter any sort of way. And I look forward in allowing yourself strive in the near future. You have that power, it’s hard to see it during hard times like this. But, put my heart to these next words for you. THERE IS HOPE, THERE ARE BETTER THINGS AHEAD FOR YOU , REMIND YOURSELF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, morning and night for sure, HOW GREAT YOU ARE AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOURSELF FOR BEING GREAT. There only moving forward from here man.
My friend shared a quote I love to remind myself of. She also gets a feel from it. “Sometimes good things fall apart. So better things can fall together.”
I believe you will make it through. Strive for a better life for yourself. Do it for her or someone else for the time being if that’s what gets you up in the morning. But at the same time convince yourself that it’s for you. Regardless, realize that You are taking You where You need to be. Even if it’s for someone else. Nothing can take the fact that You are doing it for Your beliefs and what makes You happy. Keyword is You. I put a lot of them.
Love Yourself forever. Then love someone else or the same person again. It’ll be a new experience because you’ll be feeling and giving true love.
Best of luck bro! Kick ass everyday.
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This is the first thing I felt about this reply, your post whatever it was that made you write me... your username? It’s already the internet so why use such extra anonymity? Then I carried on reading paranoid in my horror that is to hide you from me, then I thought what’s important about me, what’s so special in me that I would require the need to go such extra length to hide who I am.
Then I read some more, and I started to hear the message I think your trying to give. Maybe I am wrong but when I open up its putting me in a venerable position, one where the answer is not yes or no not maybe or when but where the answer can not be found in the eyes of another, the unspoken words or the lines in the middle, the body language that is seen for the is so little context in any of that, for saying the wrong thing and feeling like a twat. For I don’t see the things that are their nor the things that are not for there is one thing for me that more important than that.
What would I give to turn back the clock to do things differently or not, to make mistakes where perhaps I had not or to avoid what in only hindsight is seen but that all I have lived and nothing in between is given freely as ons love to the person I’ve be came.
What matters to me is not validation, no apologies or you should have done better. The thing that matters to me is that I am ok, with loving myself, the girl who once was and who she is now, the chance to live each moment in the now, again and again, forever and ever.
TLDR life is after love, is there love after life.... only heaven knows
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My name is Alejandro and I’m from Texas as it states in my bio. I’m 27 and I have ADHD and struggle with substance abuse. I aim to be there for people I feel need some one to be there with the right words. I have a passion for computers and my username comes from sarcasm and ignorance.
I don’t know. I don’t need to know you. Nor you me. How my username and excessive reply made you feel was not my intention. I came from a place of pure heart and concern. Your words had a strong effect on me and I’m not going to knowingly pass on something I feel that I care for, that being your state of mind.
I zone in and lose my sense of time spent on something and truly I apologize since it may be overwhelming for others and yourself. I looked it over and yeah, it is overwhelming even to me.
I don’t expect you to read, care, -and/or understand any of it.
The good thing is I’m owning it and stand by every word. Consider little by little going through my message. I’m confident there’s some value in it for you. Only you would know that.
I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable and set off one of your triggers. I’m genuinely here for you and ask that you reach out whenever you feel the need. I’ll do my best help anyway that I can. I can get carried away in words with the ADHD but I mean well. And I love myself a lot. Thanks for your honest opinion on my words to you.
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Hi Alejandro. It is my paranoia that hits like a truck when someone seems to understand me so well as your insights gave.
My bad, I am sorry to you for the distress this may have caused, plus my inability to just have looked on your profile & read your bio. Sorry for the stupid minute I had then
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The fact that you addressed your emotions tells me you’re on your way to the best life.
I saw myself both from your post and reply. I understood and felt what was going on. Don’t stress yourself on making changes, a little bit at a time, each day you manage to pull through. Your success lies in simply waking up and going to bed. If you can do that every day, you’re a winner. How you view and respond to everything in between waking up and going to sleep, is bonus and shows your type of character and no matter how that is atm, understand that change is inevitable and will happen, good or bad. You have the power to control that change though, fortunately.
I appreciate your words and will take your apology. I’m here for you man and I don’t want to see anyone hurting. The hurt I went through, is what I use to compare the hurt you’re possibly going through. Whether it’s the same or not, chances that they are, are about the same as if they were not. Meaning it’s not important to even reason.
You got what it takes to pull through and come out on top. Just like everyone else. We all deserve to be happy. Love you man, best of luck with everything
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What do you love about yourself? 💕 
How do you deal with the normal stresses in life?
Losing the love of your life
no hope if you don't believe in it 
