Love yourself

One big thing I’ve learnt over the last few years of me being clinically depressed is that I’m the only person that can make me happy and love myself. I used to blame others for not making me happy or respecting me, but it’s all about me and I’m the only person that can truly help myself and make me happy. Others can help and be supportive which is what I need and we all need, but it’s not on them to “fix” me. I struggle hard with my self worth and confidence. I used to blame others for not being there, not supporting me enough or not encouraging me, ultimately it’s on me to find that within myself and truly love myself.

[amberbily]

I do understand what you mean, but how do you make yourself truly happy and possibly fine peace? I struggle with anxiety, stress and depression. I have my highs and lows. I’m currently seeing a therapist weekly and I’m working on a lot of coping exercises; mindfulness meditation, journaling, sleep guided meditation and reading the book The Disease to Please. I’m really in a bad place right now. When my husband sees me cry right away he asks me what he did? I tell him nothing at all, it’s all me. It’s me!!! What have you done to accomplish finding happiness for yourself?

[Hidden in reply to amberbily]

I am not fully happy and like yourself I have my highs and lows. I have still a long way to go. I am a people pleaser but starting to come to terms that I can’t please everyone. I’m not sure how I came to really learn this. I have a psychologist that I get on with well now, it took me years to find the right one. I’m sorry you struggle too, I know how you feel. Try not to be so hard on yourself (easier said than done) but be gentle with yourself. Try to do things you enjoy, make the most of the good days and just let yourself have the bad days because it’s ok to have them. Also crying is good, it lets out all the emotion. Do you talk to your husband about how you feel? Also I found medication that worked for me too and I’m using some herbal alternatives too. I’m not sure if you’re the same but at first I wasn’t fully being honest with my psychologist but now I am. Message me if you ever feel like chatting x

[amberbily in reply to Hidden]

Thank you ... it does seem we have similar issues. However, a lot of time my different emotions that come up, such as crying, I often don’t have a reason why? It just happens

[LoveBear in reply to amberbily]

I completely hear you. I’ve tried all the above too and feeling happy or at peace do not come. I do very thing my therapist suggests and I just can’t dig my way out

[LoveBear]

I don’t think others can fix me, I’m struggling with finding happiness within myself. I get hit with these waves; they come on anytime any day there is no rhyme or reason to it - so out of my control

[bonkers65]

I know it's got to come from within me and I have to learn to love myself but I just can't seem to do it.

[Kkakdugi]

Thank you for sharing!

[Whale-water]

Truth. In our despair we cannot rely on others because sadly, often people can and will let you down. I’ve found even family can do this. I cured myself by working on myself and relying on no one but me...

Great Post!!!! Good luck on your journey

[RecreateMyself in reply to Whale-water]

Hi, would u mind sharing what things u did to work on yourself? I really want to help myself but just can’t seem to do anything to dig myself out of the hole I’m in....

[TailWags]

I would love to be able to do that. I am having a tough time as it seems the people i love go out of my life or die and new close people are hard to come by. I feel i need people close to me for support. I am single and seems over time i loose more and more.

[Hidden]

I totally agree. In my life, maybe happy isnt the right word. My goal is to be content. If depression insists on being part of my life, so be it. I try not to let it rule me. Too often we stay in the victim role

[Want2BHappy3]

I agree, the thing is, for the most part friends and family are NOT supportive. They don’t understand what we’re going through after awhile they get frustrated with us and want it to go away. I have a friend who’s said I don’t bother her, but yet sometimes she seems to get annoyed with me. Having support would be Nice, but at the end of the day we have to be responsible for our own happiness is right. Be Safe 🙏

[RecreateMyself]

Wow, your post hit home to me. I often times put blame on my long term boyfriend- telling him he isn’t supportive enough or helping me take care of myself by grocery shopping or waking me up for work so I don’t over sleep.... it’s never enough. How do u find that within yourself? Sometimes I think I hate myself because of the things I don’t do for myself....

[Strivingtochange]

I totally agree with you. I have tried medicine and tried counseling. Unfortunately, I cannot get anywhere close that I need to be. Happy to hear that you have figured out how to rise above. I keep praying for that day.

[NoNo19]

Amen. Definitely a mature insight.

[SuZQ154]

What amazing comments. Recently someone pointed out to me that the second greatest commandment, after "Love God with your whole heart, mind, and soul" is "Love your neighbor as yourself". That means we have to know how to love ourselves well! We have to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It used to sound selfish to me and feel selfish to me if I was "taking care of ME". Yet, now I recognize that is HEALTHY!

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts! They blessed me today!