Overwhelmed with parenting and trying to take care of myself at the same time

[Misdemeanor84]

Would love to connect with others feeling overwhelmed with parenting right now. My anxiety and depression is crippling me and it’s hard to just put one foot in front of the other right now. I am so scared this will be me forever. I just want to be a good mother and I feel like I suck so bad at it right now. I get frustrated and angry so easily and cry all the time.

[lillyofthevalley37]

You aren't the only one - I keep saying that the people suffering most during lock down is parents looking after young children when my kids were young I was out the door with them rain or shine

The best way to cope instead of getting angry is to just let it wash over you and not respond just let it be and don't let your feelings rise up as you will feel bad about it later and that is not fair on you as you are doing your best under the circumstances

[Misdemeanor84 in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Thanks, this is really helpful to me! You are right, when I react I feel terrible about it later and it’s a cycle. Thanks for your advice

[hotpinkmess]

Do you have any stress relief tricks you use? I've started to notice when I am spiraling and my anxiety is beginning to build and I turn on some type of anxiety music. I use prime music or you tube and search "anxiety music" and typically come across something that is a few hours long and it's something you would hear in a spa. One ear pod in and one out so I can listen to the kids. Sometimes it takes a little while for the nerves to calm, but it's been a successful technique the more I use it.

[Misdemeanor84 in reply to hotpinkmess]

That’s a great idea thank you, i can make a chill out playlist

[Afrohair]

Is it due to Covid 19 you are stressed?do you have your own outdoor space this has helped me a lot.how many children do you have?

I can say I’m 34 now had my first child at 19 I have 3 children the thing I can say most is as a mother you have to practise patience and let some things go which aren’t necessary what ages do you have I have a 3,6 and 14 year old

[Misdemeanor84 in reply to Afrohair]

I am just stressed about having them home all the time. Trying to take it day by day but it’s hard not to get overwhelmed thinking how long this will go on. My kids are 2 and 6. We are fortunate to live on a small farm so we have lots of space to be outside.

[Afrohair in reply to Misdemeanor84]

They are good ages do they play together a lot ?i find mine keep each other company I think you should use this time to spend quality time together play games with them read to them and do all those lovely things a child can’t always do with their mother due to working.my kids haven’t noticed much different they know they can’t go out.everyday I set a routine open my curtains (I don’t usually )to let the daylight in get them bathed and dressed start with breakfast playing games any school work before you know it it’s dinner time .I have outdoor picnics the weather has been nice before you know it it’s time for bedtime routine.i think a routine would be a good idea.put it this way imagine all the ladies who can’t have kids to stay home with wishing they was in your position.just take it day by day like you said you don’t need to be angry as that will brush of on them try some calming activities like music x

[Misdemeanor84 in reply to Afrohair]

Thanks for helping me reframe it in a positive way 💜💜

[lovetodance2018]

I am glad you reached out on this site. Everyone here is so supportive and encouraging. I understand the struggles with depression and anxiety. Having children home all the time is tough and the circumstances in the world right now is enhancing depression and anxiety. Before this time did you struggle with depression and anxiety? Are you on medication for both? Getting the right medication and counseling is so important. I learned mine was due mostly from a chemical balance. I keep a journal of when I spiral what is going on in my life at that time and looking for what triggers. For me I am much worse during my menstrual. I also try to list all the blessings I have in my life, write them down, and look at them often to remind myself I have a lot to be grateful for. Make sure you are taking time for yourself and caring for yourself during these tough times. You will feel better with time. I will be praying for you. Hugs to you.

[Misdemeanor84 in reply to lovetodance2018]

I have struggled most of my life but now I feel things are getting much worse after what is going on. I am on medication and in therapy, just feel hopeless sometimes. And like my family would be better without me and my issues. I know that’s not true but it feels that way sometimes.

[lovetodance2018]

I have felt that way too. It takes time to find the right combination of medication and counseling. It took me over a year and as I get older the dosage and type may have to be adjusted. I also write a journal of my depressive episodes. I list the days that I felt bad and good. What was going on at the time? Is it my time of the month? Turns out my depressive episodes are strongly related to my hormones around my menstrual. Each episode, I have to remember this is temporary. I will feel better. Then do everything I can to figure out what triggers the episodes and what I did or what were the events to feeling better. I started taking B6 supplement too. That seems to be helping. I will be praying for you. Know you are not alone. Stay strong. I remind myself daily that God is my strength. Reach out anytime I am here for you. Hugs!