I want to give up so bad. I'm just so overwhelmed, so many things going on at the same time. It's like life really does want me to die. I can't even get out of the house because there's a storm going on. I'm stuck alone with my thoughts and nothing else and it's driving me insane. I just want to give up.
Feeling even worse. : I want to give up... - Anxiety and Depre...
Meh..life doesn’t want you to die...anxiety is up to it old usual tricks.
What can we do to distract you... I don’t know any jokes (I’m old and remembering what I walked into a room for sometimes happens...more than I should admit)
Need Sillysausage234 ...
Square, I had a thought last night that I wanted to share with you... Suppose the thing that we can’t see, why go on living, is really there. Others see it. They say so, they act like it’s real. So just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I’m trying to think of a good metaphor.... something that is very real but unseen...
you are different because you choose to ponder. your mind is still open to logic.
i tried to jump off a bridge once. simply couldnt do it. i remember thinking at the time that i could not imagine any scenario where i would enjoy life again.
but that consolation prizeof not being able to do it was that i would get to watch the “experiment” of whether i was right about that or not.
seven years later i, find that i did survived a financially ruinous divorce at the hands of a truly evil self-serving court system, remarried 2 years now, new home nice little boat, close to retirement, new friends and interests. i wouldnt say my life’s great, but its ok. definitely worth living.
you should watch your own little experiment, just to see what happens. emperical evidence suggests that it almost always gets better.
Not really. There's nothing I can actually change. Medication is probably half the reason I'm like this right now. My doctor prescribed a new one that's not helping at all, not mention all the other useless ones I take that don't do anything at all. I barely get out of bed, exercising regularly is a miracle to me.
There is great truth to this. Closing our minds stops progress, but always thinking and pondering and ASKING, means the logical brain knows there are solutions or at least a happy medium.
I tell my own daughters that go through a hard time, the outcome may not be what you want at the time, but years later you see that THAT circumstance didn’t work out because usually because there is a better outcome.
I like the way you described this.
I agree, everyone is different. And maybe some people have no purpose or reason to be alive. I know I have only the purposes I create when I create them. Like caring for my service dog. She is only a year old so I must care for her for years. I chose to make the commitment because it was worrisome for my daughter for me to sit on my couch all day.
I think it was a healthy choice. I don’t regret it. You seem to have only your parents right now. Are they enough?
Would you consider it possible that you have a purpose that you are not yet aware of?
Nobody lasts forever. You are young and it would be heartbreaking if you were to go off to nirvanah before your parents. This is a sleep disorder may be and though you have the recommended drug it is not helping and needs careful monitoring by the doctor. Maybe you have had this for a long while unrecognised. It can be a metsbolic problem with a problem of receptors in the brain which switch off.
Think it's the drug you are on as it has side effects. Coffee is the best stimulant to keep you awake. Bright sunlight can help activate your energy. Nature right sun touch plus light and ion therapy lamp may help. Nicotinamide riboside is a supplement for hypocretin deficiency which may be part of sleep problem. Lacto and lactobacillus probiotics are recommended. lactate can stop glucose from blocking orexin neurons. Fermented foods kimchi Korean fermented side dish of veggies are popular. Sauerkraut pickled cabbage beetroot onions can help. Fermented cheese and dairy . Phone doctor to come off Modinafil drug as it may not agree with you. Have a strong cup of coffee.
That's a long wait - but great as you need a proper diagnosis as may be the drugs are masking another condition . Drinking coffee every few hours may help. Fermented jar foods kefir , natural yoghurt may help your orexin. I helped my thyroid by eating fishpaste on a biscuit every day. It helped iodine levels which can boost metabolism
Heh,are you like this still?.I have a question to ask with you about your country please answer for me,why doesn't you like your country?
Did you like my new profile picture?😇
Thank you😄,Okay tell me about pyramid.where is it in the world?,i think it is in my country,어쩌면 여기에.I think I'm correct.reply for me,
I don't think so,pyramid is one of the best place i wish to see and i like it a lot.tell me about the interesting mummies,are they good at look?
Okay,this isn't so big deal with on your look.you said strictly that you doesn't having distraction by anything and nothing to enjoy.but i can't stop to distract you by any of the interesting thing.
Do you know about madilyn,she is an independent singer,music composer and doing remake in her style of other musician songs.she has a lot of hate comments on YouTube on everyday basis because some of the people wish to spread negativity only.most of the comments under the videos of her in comment section are so hurtful and surely decrease the confidence of her but she has shown her reply for them in a different way.she used to make those hurt comments as songs.now she is an inspiration to all of the youtubers who are having hurtful comments about to overcome the negativity due to mad people.i mean through this about the negativity that you have from anxiety is just about a temporary thing and you should have to overcome that.you can able to do overcome this negativity due to anxiety.
This is her song of she has used to make through on hurt comments.
I understand Square. I feel the same way somedays. But there is always one reason to carry on. Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. But if we can find one thing that makes us smile there is something to live for. Dont give up on yourself, you can still do great things!!! Have a good day and try to have a good weekend. Take it one day at a time!!!
Oh I get it I've been having a hard few days again and I'm having a hard time keeping my chin up also but just breath and try and remember something you always enjoyed doing growing up.
Yeah nothing distracts me either I haven't done anything fun for myself in over 4 months
That's interesting. Are you interested in archaeology-? We find it fascinating with endless programmes about how the pharaohs were buried and how they died. Water clocks levels were indicated so they could predict if there was a flood and if a famine would arise because of flooding. Expect this was all part of your history and education so you have been inside may be?
Why you playing the blaming game?..what else is there to blame for your so called failure?...when something goes wrong, we rectify the cause and we fix it...example, a car...if we dont fix it, it won't work right?...the car will work if we maintain it..just like you, you are working on yourself...maintaining yourself...you have had the best responses to your posts...I think theres more to it, some secret you have inside you which your not letting out, which makes everything outside and around you to blame and that's what your doing..that's how you react...that's how you get things out..and , we are here to fill you up with hope, faith, insight and with life experience support..then, from there you can make the right decisions for yourself ..
Oh, here we go again..youve been saying the same thing over and over again..are you saying whatever everyone has replied and said on here and you've almost had over 500 replies , simply have gone in one ear and out the other? ...you proved my point yes, life is worth living coz life is not only what you just stated and it's not like that at all, you are imagining it..at least you have the opportunity to give it a go..you need to stop going round and round..you really do..
This is the self image enforced by responses from parents who don't understand. They have put you on a path where you felt you did not deserve a place because of your difficulties . The change to higher education has been a hiccup as you could not pass this time. Was it a low grade and it you are not far from a pass do you think you can go back and open your books for twenty minutes a day to see if you can have a go?
Yes you are right. So how long can your attention span last if you were to read a page of your notes then remember from memory writing down in your own words the book and writing down what you remember. This is brain training.
You can start with an article on a subject you like and then it is something of interest. Recalling written information by writing down reinforces the memory.
It's a start. When you can face your notes then go one page at a time.
Think of it as a way of training yourself and getting feedback. If you can to this today for 15 minutes then you have set yourself a task . By facing your anxiety of not being able to get your books out then you are starting to reprogramme yourself to TRY. One step at a time.
You've hit the nail on the head. you cant concentrate because your meds are not right and you have been put on another drug which doe not seem to be working yet. It's going back to your medical team and finding the right help. You are not to blame for feelings of not being worth anything..it is part of the illness. Hope you have a rest and leave studies at this time. Who could study after a massive hang over? That's what your going through at the moment..drug intolerance and augmentation?
Go back to see your doctor when you are able to. You are not a lost cause.
Think your comments have missed the point. S251 has been on drugs which are not working and a sleep problem is preventing him from staying awake. He cannot deal with this crisis without support from his medical team. He could not face waiting for an appointment and he cannot face the corona virus, nor the feelings that he has failed.
This is part of the illness and comments such as" grow up" .".you have had it easy" may be seen as judgemental. Unless you have had this problem with drugs and side effects and difficulty of finding the right treatment then none of us can help except by being positive and accepting what is happening. I am sure you are a great person but not everybody can spring back from life events in the same way.
Is no family with you at the moment? If you look at the situation rationally, you are one of millions who are fearful with anxiety bout coronavirus. The fact you are on your own at the moment makes it worse. Distractions can be making yourself a cup of coffee and eating a snack. If you have musician or a video music you like watch and try singing with the music. Actually singing with the music can help your mood. Are your family away and can you chat to them online. You need to chat to your family about this, as believe you feel pressured to continue study when you are not well enough. The drugs and anxiety and the sleep patterns seem as if you have a sleep disturbance. If you can go through a day without going back to bed that is a sign you are improving.
Seems like you’ve felt this way for awhile looking back @ your post and you responses to this amazing advice everyone is giving you, so that usually means what you’ve been doing to “cope” and “distract” doesn’t work and never will.
So maybe it’s time to learn some new ways to handle what your going through. The mind is an amazing thing, it really really is and it’s a waste to assume yours is nothing special, the human brain....it’s fascinating and you can be a lot stronger mentally then you think you can be.
But unfortunately no one here or anywhere else can help because you have to want the help first. Until YOU see the value in yourself first this is how you will always feel until the end.
Maybe you need the right doctor to prescribe you just the right stuff to at least get you on the right path but some of it is also a personal choice on how this is all going to work out.
So in conclusion running from the thoughts aren’t working, and that never will work, you need to stop and slow down, and maybe even listen to them, something deep inside of you is trying to tell you something and it might never stop until you stop trying to run from it. You can never get away from that voice, the voice is you.
I truly hope this works out for you, you say you are a loss cause and you TRULY believe that I see from reading your responses on here, so why be surprised when your mental and physical represent what you truly believe in your brain? The mind is again a powerful thing and it Is a mirror it will reflect on how your thinking and what energy your putting into it.
I don’t believe anyone is a loss cause, I disagree with you there, BUT I do agree that people BECOME loss causes based off how they handle their life. I prefer the natural way but some people do need the right medication to help put them in a good direction and I believe you are one of those people, keep in mind how your feeling could also be a SIDE EFFECT of medication so that’s why you need the right doctor/therapist/psychiatrist to help you and I truly hope you get that help I really really do! 🎀
List of worries
I don't want to fail
I can't concentrate
I lost my peer group and find it hard to reconnect.
My life is on a grid map and I am locked on the grid.
I need young company but have social anxiety
There is a virus which could harm me and my family
If I could focus and concentrate it would help.
If I could find the motivation to study I would be able to
If I could integrate with my course year I would feel so self conscious.
If I could find a companion to talk to that would help
If I did not have so many negative thoughts then I would be to override my own objections as to why I don't want to do something.
Finding something you like doing drawing writing essays poems stories getting interested in other subjects which take you off the grid.
You are off to see doctor on Tuesday. There are special drugs for social anxiety states. You may have agrophobia and OCD. No one tells you . The website healthline.com/health/anxie...
gives a list of older drugs which may help. Some people are better on the older drugs and have less side effects as they can get off them with no problem.
If you have physical signs of anxiety with racing heart then betablockers can help reduce your anxiety symptoms. They help people with social anxiety. It may help breathing as it may prevent panic attacks. Propanalol is a betablockers for stress.
Ensam patches are older anti anxiety relief that work throughout the day .
Tricyclics eg Anafranil has helped friends.
Can you ask for complete revision of the drugs you are on. There are good blogs on how to come off certain drugs to control withdrawal symptoms.
It's not too long before you see the doctor . The article may help to pinpoint your symptoms and recommends CBT as a help.
Yes can see your feelings of being unable to change your situation at the moment. You are different because you haven't had the right help yet. It's a bit of a quandary when the meds aren't helping you to relax and enjoy activities. . Is your mum at home at the moment as you seem to be unable to talk to her right now. Wait until you serve doctor. This not the end of the world and no one who thinks you have failed would want you to self destruct. A god chat about medication and CBT might bring more information about closer centres for CBT. You are a great person and this is a rotten phase in your life. Have seen it in many people but this is your brain playing tricks with you.
Naturopathic integrative medical clinic. Gives acupuncture treatment and treatment coaching in addition to nutritional therapy and lifestyle recommendations
There are 8 accupuncture clinics
ElBorg hospital. Looks good.
It is helpful and may be the one route which works where others have failed. Have been looking up the shops and the city what a fabulous place for tourists.
If you want any tips on the Corona virus there is old research from Linus Pauling showing the hidden miracle of vitamin C. Dr Phil Bate has a website with updated comments on how viruses are rendered harmless by the vitamin disrupting the biofilm round bacteria and virus. A daily dose should be 4000mg.
If you wanted to just drink orange juice all day you would have to drink a litre of more a day to get sufficient. This would be expensive but worthwhile.
There is the acerola cherry juice which has the highest amount of vitamin c. If it were me I would be having acupuncture. You may get results within a couple of treatments. Ear acupuncture is successful too. Thinking of you as you are so helpful to others like yourself. No need to reply.
Naturopathic Medicine is a combination of science philosophy based on an objective observation of the nature of the health and disease. naturopathic practioners are primary health care who include modern traditional scientific and empirical methods, Many are trained physicians but the emphasis is on the individual and how their health is being affected. They try to help the body heal itself and use homeopathy nutrition cold light electricity electromagnetic ultrasound psychotherapy and counselling. They don't include major surgery or the use of synthetic drugs. I think a combination of modern drugs, diagnosis, is essential but our grandparents may have lived to a ripe old age, and managed to survive without drugs which can be toxic. With back pain, sometimes manipulation by a chiropractor can be more helpful than heavy drugs.
ndnr.com gives an outline of what it is about.
Naturopathic practitioner Natural healing Institute of Naturopathy NHI College
gives a list of subjects in the us. complementary medicine was signed into law in the us in 2003.
DR Ehab Mohammed ND CCNM ICH
came from a college in Canada and finished his medical school in Egypt he graduated with a medical degree and joined the residency programme at Cairo university . May be you could find him online. He now lives in Canada.
He might know of other people who practice naturopathy in your area. you could find him on facebook.
It seems odd that Egypt was the cradle of herbalism and natural remedies over 4000 years ago but cannot find any listed yet in your country.
I am sure they must exist as sure as Chinese herbalists work in many countries.
My son had good results with Chinese herbalist.
In your area you do have facilities - including cognition therapy hypnotherapy.
Its the distance and access which may be difficult with travel. Now the school has shut down for two weeks, will other places be shut too? Can you go out for a walk or a cycle ride? Have you got a musical instrument to play with? Music - strumming a guitar or a banjo- keyboard can help to relax you.
If you go on a walk when you feel you have a racing brain. it helps you divert from the treadmill. As you have an energy problem, this may be because you have not had a chance to get your circulation going and get some fresh air. Do you have any wild life near you such as birds? It can be interesting to spot birds or plants and to take a photo of them. The other month I was sitting in a car near a supermarket. Out of nowhere came seagulls some with a wing span of over four foot. They swirled around and some sat on the gutters of a roof and stayed there. It was weird as they were not picking up food. I was relieved to be the car. Several weeks ago a bird of prey baby honey coloured buzzard sat on a wall, then started to dig in the soil for bee and wasp grubs. I did not have my camera to hand so was unable to capture it. Hope you get some fresh air tomorrow. Hope all goes well with the doctor tomorrow.
Read a post about drug tapering under the control of the doctor. May be you can ask if the new drug is making you worse, and if it can be replaced? You are very brave with all these problems and don't let these fears of corona virus. with asthma, take hold. We have had new information here, which has changed. People are more aware that the virus is spreading, and the emphasis is on containment. It would be irresponsible to think someone in your family could not contact the virus, being older and at equal risk as yourself. That is out of your hands and in the hands of the school!
I am slowly understanding your problem. When you go to the doctor tomorrow I would discuss your corona virus worries with your asthma, explain you don't know how to extend your revision period as the school is open the day after the school reopens. With a cafeteria and communal facilities, there is a possibility that any other student at the college could pass this virus on to you and you wont' know about other students. If you could ask him to phone your professor about this issue, he may well do his best to show you have a breathing condition, and this should be observed in your case. This is not a question of failure, it is a question of undue pressure being put on a student, to go into a social environment where the virus can be picked up by any member of staff at the college, including the cleaners and catering staff.
Think its the new drug..as you have not been on it long may be the doctor will remove it as you are worse now with no focus and no motivation and are using your brain to find ways out. There is nothing you can do about the virus or measures taken going to public buildings and you will get further changes no doubt as the scend changes on a daily basis here and elsewhere.
That's good as people with metabolic disorder and many other people do feel sleepy after meals. That seems one time of the day when you are not sleepy. Sleep disorders can mess with your brain and may be you need input about sleep disorders. Don't give up.
I had asleep disorder diagnosed over eight years ago and now take a sleeping tablet but don't need other mental health meds. I never could manage without sleep without feeling bad tempered and irritable or lacking in concentration.
Have heard Citalopram can really help depression . I would ask for a full blood panel to be done for iron vitamin d and B12 and folates deficiences.If you have any of these they can be autoimmune causes of a major depressive disorder and may be helped by vitamin B12 injections. Thyroid and diabetes should also be tested for. You have to track back and have tests done to cross them off the list. You can get a print out of your results and refer them back to special sister websites. If you don't ask for tests you won't get any help.
Yes we all do this and find they don't make much difference because the doses are not correct. You have to have the tests done for vitamins D iron calcium B12 and folates.
If you can buy wheat bran flakes these if fortified contain the highest vitamin levels in an ounce which would give you the basic daily requirement. People are not aware of how deficiencies in various vitamins and minerals such as zinc magnesium iron potassium can affect your health if there is an imbalance. Doctors test for autoimmune disease such as
Pernicious anaemia which may never be diagnosed as doctors take out their prescription pads without realising people may have deficiencies. This can be due to a genetic problem with an enzyme or protein blocking a metabolic pathway.
Do you really think your college is not aware of the coronavirus? If they are not aware then may be they should tell students what is going on? We have had public games cancelled schools shutting for several weeks, so may be your some of your worries about failure can be attributed to the worry with this bug?
Yeah college just got canceled for the next 2 weeks. I hate it. They're not postponing exams by the way so this is just more tension. Also I really don't think it's an autoimmune disease or else I would've been like this since childhood. And I still doubt it's a defeciency. I'm too broke right now anyway to get tests.
I can see you will miss going to college as you hate it being shut but guess unless you have a student union representative you cant discuss your queries. If you have health problem then there seems to be no information online for you. Autoimmune disease is sometimes not picked up for years as it may be symptom free. But there are autoimmune diseases linked to severe depression. Having a blood test for basic autoimmune disease may be helpful but can see this is not what you want at the moment. |Let's hope the doctor will modify your prescriptions, advise you in plain language how you can cut down some of the drugs you are on and replace them with others.
Hi Square article in mentalhealthdaily.com
Can Antidepressants Cause Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Adrenal Mining , the adrenal glands become fatigued no longer making
cortisol to maintain alertness. it can take time for the adrenals to recover causing
chemical imbalance .. Antidepressants can deplete neurochemicals over time causing fatigue
Gut Microbiome. the gut flora cause microbial dysfunction this can lead to numerous psychological responses,
Hormone Alterations - antidepressantslowr testosterone levels change leptin production and cortisol and can lead to imbalance
it makes people feel nub and reduces motivation. there is no emotion to support the motivation
Sedation they can affect sleep making you drowsy.
Why has nothing helped? You have to ask questions . If you are a philosopher rather than science student would want to unravel why you are here. Would you prefer to study Rene Descartes? If there is an unknown factor in your anxiety is this to do with your brain metabolism so you are not getting enough of certain neurotransmitters into your brain and body so you need to detoxify?
You are a challenge to the medical fraternity . It is your fighting spirit which is attacking yourself as the reason for all maladies . If you cannot study then the long term anxiety is preventing you from moving on. Maybe hypnotherapy is one way you can break the soell.?
Then you can tell your parents that rather than continue your studies you need to drop out as you are unable to study with the problems with breathing and the virus. The virus is affecting everyone so use your common sense.can you have a heart to heart with your mum. You could write her a kind note saying how you appreciate their support but things have changed. You don't want to end up passing on a virus to them.
Did you ever have any serious infections with sore throats when you were growing up? Did you have any vaccines? Did you have any trauma in your early life? Did you feel that one or both parents were over dominating and you were criticised too much? Being an only child means you have to work harder to make social contacts; you have to make more effort to talk to people. Did you find tension with one parent or another, or are you wanting independence but being held back by the windmill in your mind?
You are a valuable person but somehow you cant achieve goals at the moment and seem to have wanted another career, but did not take the right options to get an entry to another course. In this country students may drop out of courses and do another one but it seems you don't seem to have many other options at the moment. If you think you could persue another career with the right qualification entry point, are there any other colleges where you can study for the entry qualification you need? It's being able to chat your parents about your difficulties and the virus which you feel might damage your health. It's because you are in limbo and cannot study, that you feel you are a hamster on a wheel. The virus is not an excuse for not studying. it is a real worry for anyone who has breathing problems. That is why parents are sometimes misguided when they don't understand your problems.
Time has flown by and you cant really pin point where it all went wrong. May be posttraumatic stress disorder is the reason you have not made headway? Is there anyone in your area who treats this as I do feel there is something in your past which is holding you back making you feel a failure. No one is worth sacrificing their life for because you are failing to please. Everything has changed since this virus cam and old set ideas of what should be the right path for a life have changed. Expect the tourist season will be affected by the virus as there is a shutdown on travel and some people are going to be stranded and cant get back home in some nations. It is rather odd that exams are still going ahead, when things have shut down for two weeks. I guess things will be different and you will get different information on self isolating soon. It would be remiss to shut down and expect people to take exams travelling on public transport to get to a public building. Wait for the news services. You are important to help your mum throught his as you are her only son and she adores you.
That's a healthy attitude. Can see you are narked. Have you opened any text books yet to read any information? You could look at the syllabus and work backwards reading the synopsis of theories before reading the whole. This was a tip we had as students which could cut down revision. Exams can be pot luck. It is how you interpret the question that gives you a pass. No need to reply.
If you are able enough to find out about the exams then having a go will do you no harm. Diversion tactics have a shower ,may be change your hairstyle tying it back. Shaving. Spending awhile brushing your teeth.
Eating something you like and drinking loads of water to increase oxygen in your body.
Now you don't have to go to college just do a few minutes whisking through notes day.
When you say the word can't replace it by humming the word "om" this is a method of calming yourself down. Hope the trip to doctor is ok and you can get another prescription.
Yes that's true. If you ain't tough enough to go the course then its every man for himself. I've seen awful film on tv of boat people trying to land in countries and their boats overturned. That is what human nature is like. It is the strongest and the fittest who survive. You have to work out whether survival means sinking or swimming.
A CBT therapist in your area can be found on
The therapist specialist works on anxiety and mood disorders. She /he does online counselling for distance clients thru Skype. Personal therapy is the emphasis . Exist counseling -
Try using qwant search . Do you know this one already?
Please please don’t give up I have had depression for years since 21 yrs old after first born, I am now 52 and just had to change meds due to becoming Immune to them, so now on another mirtazapine is OMG I feel terrible No energy sleepy no motivation for nothing as life is passing me by day by day ,wake up eventually! same day differrent shit, “you are not alone hun honest , there are millions suffering!!this it’s a mental illness!! Like any other illness or disability “more so “In fact!because of the negativeness and darkness and hopelessness of it all” the mind is a leathal weapon ” very dangerous kids today committing suicide just horrific something should be done we have one life we should
Be living it to the fullest as it’s a gift, but yet we cant wether money, relationships, failure it’s a demon please know you are NOT ALONE
Hey there Square251,I read some of your posts and I can hear in your words how much you just don't see a way out of this misery called depression. I want you to know that my mind was ruined with deppression and anxiety and self blame ,I was a tortured soul, after too many years of stress basically,and I did not see that I could ever get better ,I didn't think it was possible because I felt too far gone, NOTHING took that feeling away ,I couldn't find real happiness in anything ,that terrible feeling of loneliness , pointlessness .... was with me all the time no matter what,for many years . I can honestly say it felt like hell ,I didn't even know a person could feel that low so I was petrified I never would never be the same again. I wanted to die but I didn't want to hurt anyone so so felt sooooo trapped and I honestly didn't think it was humanly possible for me to feel better. I thought I was useless and I blamed myself . I'm telling you this because I did get better!! Generally I can actually say I'm happy! A miracle to me . I want to give you hope . Hope is where the healing starts . I wish I could say it was the meds,though they help me now so much and would not be without them ( Ive found escalatopram the best,few side effects), or the sporadic councelling ( I was scared of telling anyone how I really felt) or just time or my thousands of prayers I prayed, begging god to help me. I often think it must be the latter because still hard for me to believe I'm this well. KEEP HOPE,If I can feel it again so can you ,I promise you !! I believe hope can spark the journey to healing. And also as you feel better , even in a small way ,helps heal,it perpetuates itself ,like a tumble weed,don't dismiss ANY small feelings of joy,it does take time,looking back it was like my brain was so damaged with feeling depressed that it couldn't feel happy and it's like my brain has healed. I still stress really hard when my family have bad days(and I mean stress hard) but me myself,I'm ok. See if there is something small that YOU enjoy ,not something you Should do, anything that can make you feel good just a tiny bit. For me me it's chucking on my old clothes and getting in my veggie patch ,and weeding , planting ,it's my project to give me purpose just cos I LIKE IT. Deppression wont lift in a day, I wish it would !! It'll take a little while to heal ,but starting with one small word , hope!! I'm telling you ,you most definitely can be happy again!!! I hope some of what I'm sharing with you really really helps you, because I've been there ,on that , personal,awful journey of depression that only those who have been there truly knows what it feels like. I wish I had someone to tell tell me all this when I was there. Prayer coming your way and I believe absolutely you will get there too🌠🌈💝