Needing someone to hear me

[Stormypugs]

Hi I'm new, my depression hasn't been this bad in 20 years, it started last month really bad after I told my therapist I was molested as a child. Since then its like I have this dark cloud hanging over me, a ton of anxiety and recently started having panic attacks, 1st time in my life. Sometime they come one after the other, so draining, light headed. I can't shut my brain off, its soo loud. Constant headaches, they never go away. Trying to turn off the negative thoughts in my head, sometimes its soo hard. I am seeing a therapist and in 3 weeks I have an hour long pych evaluation. I was drinking alot this last month up until 4 days ago... it just makes it worse. Thanks for listening.

[kenster1]

hi and welcome to you sorry about your circumstances its great that you are seeking as much support as possible it really will help and glad to hear you put the booze on the back burner.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Welcome to the site. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, but it sounds like the storm before the calm. You're beginning the process.

My PTSD, Depression and Anxiety experience is different than yours but I can relate to the symptoms and struggle.

Just know that you have a lot of help here and you're not alone.

Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.

[eega07]

Hey! I don’t normally respond to others posts, but I can really relate to yours.

Its completely normal to feel like things are getting worse when you start seeing a therapist/starting your self help journey. After talking to my therapist about my childhood trauma I went through a deep period of Depression and I couldn’t suppress my thoughts like I used to. Bringing up the trauma that you’ve spent so long hiding brings back a lot of emotions and fears. I wanted to stop therapy but I was pushed to continue and all I can say is it can get better! It’s obviously not easy, but just know you’re not alone in the way you’re feeling.

If you need anyone to talk to let me known

[Stormypugs in reply to eega07]

Thanks now i just feel emotionally numb, I haven't been drinking much at all since last Wed, when I came in drunk and high and started having really bad panic attacks that wouldn't stop. My bf got scared and call 911, so spent the next 3 hours in the ER with panic attacks the whole time, and no one even helped me because I was drunk. I even said I wanted to die, and nothing... Thanks for writing me. Feels like i'm heading toward spending time in the mental ward, but don't ever want to go back there.

[GmaLuLu]

Please know you are not alone - my situation is similar to yours. I'm working with a therapist, and am sort of sure where my anxieties and depression started (long ago as a child). It's hard to go back, but hopefully we can get the bad stuff out and begin to heal. I just started this journey too - talking to someone completely outside my family and circle of friends is helping. Stay strong! We have a lot of people on here that understand.