My truth : Lately I'm struggling. I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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My truth

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom

Lately I'm struggling. I feel somewhat like the song lyrics Rob Thomas wrote for "Unwell". I am overcome by things I have no control over and feel as gray as the sky. I have no motivation to do anything. So this post is about me admitting my truth and hopefully moving on by doing so. So here it is:

I still have all my Christmas decorations up.

I haven't seen my dining room table, bathtub or the floor in my two spare bedrooms for longer than I can remember.

I sleep on the couch because I can't get to my bed which is probably ruined and my husband likes a very firm mattress. If I sleep on it I am in pain.

I live in pajamas and sweats.

Things in my fridge and freezer need to be thrown out because I haven't cooked a decent meal in so long they are freezer burned or moldy.

If I venture out to the store I buy things I know I have because it's easier than looking for them.

I have unopened boxes that have been delivered. I haven't opened anything since November. I just stack them up wherever I find room.

I have dirty dishes in the kitchen sink that have been sitting in water for three days because I didn't wash them.

So those are my ugly truths. Now I will do my best to move forward one step at a time. I plan to start in the kitchen with those dishes. Thanks for listening. I already feel a bit better admitting to all the things I haven't done. HUGS!

22 Replies
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I try to focus on one thing at a time, that's my motto. It sounds like you've narrowed it down to the kitchen.

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to LadyZen

That is good advice. I am feeling overwhelmed by everything. But I am proud to say the dishes are now either in the dishwasher which is running or washed and put away. I took a short break before I wipe down the counters and stove. Enjoying some green tea in a room where I can't see the kitchen.

This IS progress! Well done x

Thank you. Baby steps work best sometimes.

Hope you feel better soon I also struggle with motivation everyday!

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to Xoxo33

I have learned by sharing we all do. You're not alone.

X

Pick the things to cleanup or put away that are in your way first.

I live in pjs at least twice a week and sweats the rest. I haven’t left the house in nearly 3 weeks to go anywhere.

I sleep on the couch every night. I haven’t slept in the same bed with my husband in years. These truths you reveal seem normal to me. 🤫

Progress you make is progress. 🌺💜🌺💜🌺💜🌺

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to RoxieDawn

That's why I started in the kitchen. I couldn't get to the coffee pot or microwave without rearranging dirty dishes. Maybe I'm not as bad as I think.😊

RoxieDawn
RoxieDawn in reply to Mrspjsmom

You’re not trust me. I managed to make a deposit for checks I’m NOT going to put in the bank tomorrow.

I managed cat box cleanup and getting the garbage can from down the end of driveway.

I’m reeling in progress today. 😂😂😂😂😂

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to RoxieDawn

I made coffee for my husband who cooked breakfast and lunch just for himself, seasoned my kitchen along with his food then left his dirty dishes in the living room and complained that I didn't thaw out anything for dinner. He got coffee so he's lucky. Brushed the cat and gave the dog her dental treat and supplement for her skin and coat. Now I have done the dishes and "un" seasoned the kitchen. I'm calling it a good day and parking myself in front of the TV. Anything else today will be a bonus lol

RoxieDawn
RoxieDawn in reply to Mrspjsmom

Excellent!!! 😊😊😊

Well done. I think we are more alike than not. wouldn't you say so looking at the responses you received ? Great minds think alike,

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to sweetiepye

I have to agree. And I am relieved to have admitted to what I perceived as shortcomings. Feeling better.

You did a great job! 👏🏼 I too struggle w motivation and often beat myself up bc I’m not more like my husband, who is intrinsically motivated. I tackle things in very small baby steps! Sometimes I set a timer for 15 min (and tell myself “you can do anything for 15 min”) & do a task. Then I set it to rest for 15 min. I’m glad you rewarded yourself. 🦋

Another great idea. Thanks for sharing. I set the timer on my stove to remind myself when I have laundry in the washer or dryer. The laundry is in the basement and I often forget about it.

I reward myself all over the place. Why not ? Other wise I probably wouldn't get much done.

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to sweetiepye

No body takes care of me so I do it myself. I deserve it. Everyone does.

I think those of us with depression understand my friend. When I went through my divorce and a lot of other stuff all at once, I just stagnated....didn't want to do anything. It's part of the disease....it just knocks us for six sometimes....and we get stuck. I have to say though, you do have your husband there....he could wash a dish too. I don't know why that is only your job. No judgment about him, just would be nice to do that for you.

At some point you may try one thing for the day....and that's good enough. And if inspired by that...try something else the next day or two. It does make us feel a little bit better, but don't beat yourself up about it. We have a disease....and it makes us feel like crap. Sometimes we just have to go through it the best we can.

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to fauxartist

My husband treats me well and is a wonderful husband, father and nurse. The reason the dishes and cooking are my responsibility is somewhat complicated and has to do a great deal with his work schedule and some health issues. That is why I tolerate it. He does clean up the kitchen and cook when he has several days off in row so I get a break then. He also does his own laundry. Some days I feel like screaming at him but I try to take a deep breath and remind myself this will pass.

fauxartist
fauxartist in reply to Mrspjsmom

That's good that you have a partner who is a caring person ...I do too, and I am very grateful for that.

Mrspjsmom
Mrspjsmom in reply to fauxartist

In the end things work out. Just accordingly to his work schedule 🤣

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