Follow up if anyone cares. - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support
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Follow up if anyone cares.

Deepoceanic
Deepoceanic

Well after failing nursing school due to my anxiety and depression, I am trying a one semester program for EMTs. I have done it in the past before my anxiety and depression got so bad. I just couldn’t concentrate in nursing school, I would stare at a page for hours not retaining anything. Well even though I have done this in the past, I am scared to do it again because not much as changed. My therapist says well at least it will be familiar to u and you have passed it before. I get all that but I am not the same person I was a few years ago. For months I have been trying to tell her my anxiety has been getting worse by giving her examples but she takes them as not a big deal. I get that individually they aren’t but if I have anxiety over the stupidest things then why doesn’t that raise a flag. If I can’t even handle the simple things then to me that’s a sign that there something really wrong because if one can’t handle simple then soon won’t be able to handle anything at all. I know she can’t read my mind but doesn’t her training indicate to ask more in depth questions. I shouldn’t need to spell it out!! Well I guess I just want to feel like she cares or pretends to because I certainly don’t care about myself. Why should I keep going to her if I don’t feel that she is listening. Anyways sorry this is long but it’s been weighing on my mind for months.

10 Replies
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I’m sorry that things haven’t been going good and I understand your frustration with your therapist. Curious question but has being able to focus always been something you’ve struggled with? I ask because untreated ADHD can lead to anxiety and depression.

Deepoceanic
Deepoceanic in reply to RCJH8610

Honestly I have thought of that too but I am not sure. My psychologist wouldn’t believe me and just chalk it up to anxiety and maybe he is right or maybe he is wrong. It’s just sucks that they don’t want to dig deeper and figure out what is at your core. They just put bandages on deep wounds.

RCJH8610
RCJH8610 in reply to Deepoceanic

Maybe you should go to a new psychologist, especially if your current one wouldn’t listen to your concerns and consider other alternatives.

I hope you are able to do your best, Deepoceanic. I know what it's like to try to live with anxiety, and how hard it is to get work done. But I also know that it is possible to be able to pass classes and feel good about it even with anxiety. Don't give up hope yet, even if you feel like you can't do it. Don't let yourself fail before you even start. I think you can do it, and if you can not, there is always time to try again.

I can relate strongly with not being able to retain what you read. Last year I decided to start reading again as a way to take my mind off of my problems. I soon realized I couldn't read anything because my mind was already full of negative intrusive thoughts. I decided to do what I did in Anatomy and Physiology class years ago.

I would read 1sentence at a time, sometimes part of a sentence, take it apart word by word if I had to, and not proceed to the next until I had mastered it. My reading started improving faster than I ever thought possible!

Yours will too!

Try it and let us know how you are doing, good or bad!

Also I think your therapist is trying to discourage you from thinking about your symptoms, that's why I wanted to read, I had a lot of good information that told me to try to stop thinking about such things. It works too! You are already past the hardest part of Nursing School, as soon as you learn to discipline your mind you will be back to your old self!

Hidden
Hidden

I'm sorry you are struggling. I have to be honest, I was an EMT. It was the most anxiety provoking profession of all, even before I had anxiety and depression. Coming on scene to death, destruction, dismemberment etc, kids hurt, parents screaming and being in charge of saving them was very difficult. I'm not saying you can't do it but give it alot of thought because I am telling the truth. It's so hard!

Hidden
Hidden

Also the salary for the job is too low, about $15-16 per hour. Walmart pays $15.

Deepoceanic
Deepoceanic in reply to Hidden

Thanks and trust me I know it’s very anxiety provoking. It scares me that my anxiety might get in the way, but I also need a win and starting point.

I’m sorry you feel your counselor is not listening or taking your feeling seriously. I have felt that as well but as I’ve been reading more about anxiety and depression it seems you need to redirect your thoughts sometimes. I personally like to be sad. It feels comfortable and I search for it. I will think of everything negative in my life and pity myself, cry and dig a deep dark whole for myself. When I think of positive thoughts and good things it feels fake, it feels like it’s not me and I feel extremely uncomfortable, but that’s my depression and anxiety. That’s not reality. We all have good things in ourselves and our lives if we look for them

Thanks everyone I will provide an update if I make it this semester or not.

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