New Here - Empty Nest Is Killing Me - Anxiety and Depre...

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New Here - Empty Nest Is Killing Me

SadMommy
SadMommy

Hello,

Back in June, my two daughters moved out...one got married and the other moved with two roommates. Plus my job had to cut my hours drastically. My depression and the anxiety kicked in. Bouts of crying and feelings of dizziness like I'm going to pass out when I go to stores, meet a friend for tea, or just at home. I thought time would take care of everything, but it just got worse. I tried one therapist for three sessions, but she just had me talk about my kids when they were little and wanted me to do job quizzes. I wanted CBT training or something to end the anxiety. My younger daughter moved back home for a couple of months, but left today to move to another state with her boyfriend. We had two weeks notice for this move! She quit her job and everything. I'm close with my daughters and this is destroying me.

12 Replies
oldestnewest

It's hard when the nest empties. But, we have to let them go and grow.

When my nest emptied out I went back to school. You have to find things to keep you busy.

Now it's time to enjoy the next chapter in your daughters lives. It's also time to begin a new chapter of our own.

SadMommy
SadMommy in reply to Dolphin14

I know, I've been telling myself that, but I don't see any point now. My job is done.

Dolphin14
Dolphin14 in reply to SadMommy

Another job? Volunteer?

Do something you always wanted to do but never had time for?

SadMommy
SadMommy in reply to Dolphin14

Nothing sounds good at all anymore. Things I use to like just seem like a waste. I know it's depression, but that's how I feel.

Dolphin14
Dolphin14 in reply to SadMommy

I understand. It's hard to let go and find a new life and purpose. We were always " somebody's mother"

Now we are ourselves. I did feel a huge loss of purpose.

So sorry about this my mum had similar feelings when I moved out as were very close I had children young and she feels as though she’s missed spending time with me I had my first at 19 and 2 more at 28 and 30 I also moved out at 19 she then got a divorce from her husband and thought she would start a new chapter with her life going travelling and out with friends she then got diagnosed with vascular dementia aged 51 and has no one nor has met anyone else she try’s to do things with her local church and we keep in touch via phone and FaceTime perhaps you could try this I enjoy my conversation with my mum .my mum is so lost cause now she cannot even work and she is only early stages of her illness but it can get so lonley .you don’t mention if you have a partner to talk to maybe you could talk to your partner about how your feeling xx

SadMommy
SadMommy in reply to Afrohair

I do have a spouse who misses them too, but isn't devastated like me, My girls and I just did so much together and now it's almost like a death...or more like someone divorcing you that you still totally love and like.

Afrohair
Afrohair in reply to SadMommy

I’m so sorry you feel that way what me and my mum do is we set a date and time each week so we can have mum and daughter time each week is their anyway you could do that to keep in touch or some other way I’m guessing your in America as you said state so I guess it’s a little harder here in the uk it’s not as awkward to travel could you try face timing them I know it’s difficult and I always wonder how I will be when my nest empties I don’t want them to grow up and even want another baby now the last one is going to school I don’t see myself being anything other than a mother but now I don’t know if I can have anymore cause of my health you could write them letters to keep in touch also that would be nice get some special writing paper even if it’s just a bit of fun xx

Afrohair
Afrohair in reply to Afrohair

Maybe you could do more with your partner also to fill the gap

SadMommy
SadMommy in reply to Afrohair

He doesn't like really going and doing anything. And now with my anxiety...I'm having a hard time doing things myself.

SadMommy
SadMommy in reply to Afrohair

My eldest is good at texting me, but my youngest isn't. It's just so different. They say stuff like we'll still go on vacation together, but I know it's not going to happen. My eldest took her honeymoon and just booked a vacation overseas with her husband in fall. I kept trying to get her to go with me on one in January, but she says no that she doesn't want to take off of work even if I paid for everything. And she's my daughter that "tries" to see me. My other one is a free spirit and I don't know when I'll see her.

Im going thru the same thing, being away from my kids is killing me too, miss them so much. they were my life and now I don't know how to function with out them. I wish you can find a way to deal with loneliness.

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