Newbie here with a new bout of depression

[mtnee]

I'm new here. I'm hoping I can connect with someone, because I can't talk to family members much because they are all going through so much themselves. I have generalized anxiety disorder and am suffering with a new bout of depression. The depression is the issue right now. My anxiety is controlled mostly through meds. I've been isolating myself and circumstances are tough right now. Is there anyone else who feels the same?

[Hidden]

I feel the exact same. If you need to talk I'm here

[mtnee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. Is there a private messaging on this site? I don't know how to access it yet if there is.

[Hidden in reply to mtnee]

Yes, there is a chat button and then you click on it. You should be able to start a chat from there. The chat button is on the top

[Hereforyou28]

I am right there with you as well, sometimes we feel like we are the only ones who feel like this. I’m here for you if you want to talk

[mtnee in reply to Hereforyou28]

I have a husband with a terminal diagnosis and obviously I can't talk to him because he's probably going through worse.

[Poodie in reply to mtnee]

I am so sorry about your husband’s diagnosis. I am here if you want to post more. Let me know how I can help.

I get anxious about illness and my family’s health. I joined about a week ago while I was super depressed. Just reaching out to others and being heard has helped. I also figured out I was angry at my husband and I felt I had no right to be. I was caught between wanting to say something to express my feelings and my guilt at wanting to.

So sure enough I expressed my feelings and he told me that being angry at him “wasn’t fair “ !! So I said ,It may not feel it fair but I still am angry. So not allowing him to guilt me into not expressing myself helped and we talked things out. I could feel my depression gradually starting to lift. We have both had a lot of stressors to deal with and were not able to support one another.

I am still not functioning well but at least I am moving in the right direction. This had been quite scary for me because I started to slip into thinking my family would be better off without me. Even tho I have been dealing with depression my whole life, I usually don’t go there.

I also do not handle loss well. What is happening with your husband must be very difficult for you. Please keep me posted and let me know how you are coping. This is a good group. I am wondering also if your hospital or hospice has a support group you can join.

Take care of yourself.

[Learning64 in reply to mtnee]

I have been there, and am happy to chat too. It was the toughest thing I ever experienced, but I am hanging in there. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I have never been angry with my husband for being ill or dying. Just incredibly sad and traumatised. I had no support system, so I did it all on my own. I don't know what your family/friends situation is, but they may not get it even if they are "there" for you.

[Hellochann]

It’s crippling- anxiety and depression! I made myself isolated and think agoraphobic would be a better way to describe it. I couldn’t even do my job anymore, afraid someone would ask me how I am doing, casually, and I would lose my shit to them!! I did. It was relieving, embarrassing and the best thing that could’ve happened.

You found a good place to vent and get advise

[brokenagain]

You need to find somthing that you enjoy in life. Your only concern right now is yourself. I know that, that may sound mean or self serving but for you to heal, you need to concentrate on yourself and maybe in time you may be able to help your family members who are going through their own hell, Life is dificult but after I nearly died from my head trauma, I reached the point and realized that I and I only could pull myself out of the hell that I was put in when I had my accident. If you need to talk, then feel free to contack me! You can do it and WIN !

[Learning64]

Yes. I just turned 55. My husband died of alcohol use disorder 11 years ago, and I am still in deep grief. I have flashbacks to that period every day. I am taking ketamine treatments, which are the only things that have put a dent in my depression. I remarried, but am still very lonely. Nobody understands that my husband had a disease, a genetic disease at that, and they feel no sympathy for him. That breaks my heart. So I don't talk to many people anymore, I try to stay away from them because they only have caused me pain. I get it.

[Mdance]

I relate so much. I was so relieved to have my anxiety under control after years of struggle, that I didn't even realize I was depressed until recently. Life has been hard but I know I have a lot to be grateful for... I'm trying to focus on what I CAN change for myself, to bring more balance and stability to my life... But the depressive thoughts can feel so heavy, they drag me down and make everything feel harder.