I'm so done right now. Yesterday was a year since my cousin Harley was killed. I miss her so badly and I keep blaming myself for it. I tried not to think about yesterday but where I didn't think about it much, I feel guilty for it. Than I have to go to my moms today. Being there really stresses me out. I can't deal with her and my stepdad. And my whole body hurts where I joined the swim team. I don't know if I can make it on the swim team. Than I'm on new meds that is making sick. And sometimes I forget to take it in the mornings because I have to eat before I take it. Than I feel like I'm not getting any sleep and I'm so tired all the time. No matter how much sleep I get, I'm still tired the next day. Sorry, all of this probably makes no sense.
~Sky
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Midnightwolf1
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Hey Sky, Brian here! Sorry I haven't gotten to talk to you lately. Sounds to me like you're dealing with survivor's guilt. Just know, it wasn't your fault. Try to remember the good times and throw out the bad ones. And as long as you remember her, she'll always be with you. I can imagine dealing with your parents is extremely stressful. Think of some coping methods you could use when you're there. My go to one is distraction therapy. Find something to do or some place you can go to dial down the stress. If something else comes to mind that you think might help, try that. When it comes to meds, it is a very inaccurate science. What may work for one person might not necessarily work for you. Talk to you psychiatrist or doctor and be open and honest about what you're going through. That way they can find out what works best for you. From experience, I know when I first started swimming, my muscles ached for days. Just keep at it. The more you do it, the easier it'll get, I promise No matter how bad things may seem or how down you get, it will get better. That, I do promise. All of us here have absolute faith in you. And you know we're always here for you if you need us, no matter when. And don't worry about not making sense, I understood ya just fine! Be patient, and always strive to do your best, even if it feels it's not enough. You can get through this! We got your back, kiddo Give 'em hell!
Thank you so much. It has been a while since I've heard from you. How are you?
I'll be moving out of my moms soon and be living with my dad after I get my truck up and running and my intermediate. I've tried all my coping strategies but they are starting to fail me lately...
I hear ya, Sky! Usually, when coping strategies fail, it's time to come up with new ones. Some are tried and true, others can seem like they're off the beaten path. Aroma therapy, guided imagery, meditation...they're all pretty solid. For me, comic books have been a go to because they are such an easy escape, even if it's only for 20 minutes or so. That can make all the difference, especially when you feel you are really struggling. Deep breathing and being mindful of your surroundings can also be really helpful. All of your coping techniques will work, but sometimes it's finding the right one for the situation you find yourself in. Sometimes, you gotta just keep the faith. Things will get better. Finding ourselves in difficult situations shows us how strong and resilient we can be. Above all, never give up hope! Life is all about peaks and valleys. Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down, but we never stay in one spot for long before we find ourselves on the way back up again. I've got faith in ya, Sky! Sometimes, you just need to have a little faith in yourself
Things have been hectic with me. I've started back to college at the end of August and I've been run ragged ever since. I haven't been here as much as I'd like, but I'll be back here on a more full-time basis in mid-December, once classes are over. Other than that and finishing off my Superman collection, thing have been kind of quiet. But as they say, it's the quiet before the storm lol. If you ever feel like you want to reach out to me, feel free to PM me here and I'll reply as soon as I can. Remember, we all got your back Keep smiling, kiddo
I usually read, walk, sometimes draw but lately I've been get so frustrated with it. I've been working on the truck with dad and it's been helping me a lot
Well there ya go! Even if you get frustrated, just power through. That's where mindfulness can be handy. Take a step back, close your eyes and just breathe for 15 to 20 seconds. Clear your mind, then open your eyes. You'll probably be able to see a fresh perspective on your drawing than before. Sorry, I've gotten into problem solving mode. That's being a man for ya lol Sky, you know yourself better than anyone else. Trust your instincts, follow your heart, and just be the best you that you can be. That's all anyone can ask You got this!
Things happen in life. Most of them is not our fault and we feel guilty. People with depression, these incidents are recipe for disastrous. I know no distraction will help these conditions. Only thing we can do is be strong and go through the pain. It will only get better with time. So just hang on...
Hi. Actually it does make sense and I'm sorry for your loss. As for remembering to take your medicine - look into an app that reminds you. I found one and find it extremely useful.
Hey Sky, Hope you're doing better today. I'm sorry about your cousin. Trying not to think about the day usually doesn't help. I find that when the "anniversary" date creeps up on me I go at it full force, acknowledge it for what it was - a dreadful day - but then I think of all the good memories I have, I celebrate the person I lost.
I'm also sorry that you're having such a hard time at your moms. It sounds like you have the coping skills in place that work for you even if they aren't working right now. Keep putting them to use and know that you'll be at your dad's soon and there is light at the end of that tunnel.
Keep up with the swimming. That's an awesome sport and you just might find that your time in the pool, in your lane, and in your zone just might be the place to lose yourself. I was a competitive figure skater and the best part was every day when I stepped on the ice to practice I could leave all the garbage of life outside the rink and just go into my own little world of skating - even if it did mean banging my rear-end time and time again on the hard ice. LOL! For you "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" as Dori said in Finding Nemo.
I love the suggestion of looking for an app to remind you take your meds.
Thank you so much. I'm going to keep swimming, even if it makes me sore because I do forgot everything for a while. I think about her all the time. Most of them are good memories, it just I start thinking about what all she could be doing now. And I'm doing better today.
How are you doing? How's the swimming going? I'm sorry I haven't been on here for a couple of days. I'm still thinking and praying for you though. I just wanted to you to know.
Hi there, I just wanted to tell you that I’m so very sorry about the loss of your cousin. My heart goes out to you.
I skimmed through some of your early posts, caught something about you taking the ACT. You’re close to my daughter’s age, I’m guessing you’re now a senior? My daughter turned 17 in June, took the ACT just recently.
Do you know what you want to do after high school?
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No matter how bad things may seem or how down you get, it will get better. That, I do promise. All of us here have absolute faith in you. And you know we're always here for you if you need us, no matter when. And don't worry about not making sense, I understood ya just fine! 
Give 'em hell! 
Friend lost?Heart hurts
Feeling Like Everything is Negative 
Head hurts from thinking
Forget everything, it will pass
