I reach out to people and it just seems like I’m looking for pity.
I’m lonely. All alone.
I reached out to a niece who I was always close with; she had written me a very long detailed message of how I was unbearable to talk too a while back. I don’t think people realize I don’t ask to be this way.
She called when my ex and I broke up (I wrote about him in a previous post). He had reached out to her. The telephone conversation ended with “I’ll message you”. She never did. So today I messaged her back and said “I didn’t hear from you 😕”.
To say her message back was rude is an understatement. I now feel like her only intention of calling was to drive the knife a little deeper; an “I told you so”. I feel stupid for not seeing people’s true colours and not believing them when they tell me who they are.
I’m just so broken and alone right now. I just want someone to talk to and help me through this. I’m scared I’ll go back. I’m scared I won’t find someone else. I’m scared I’ll be alone forever. I’m just so scared.....
Written by
BrownEyesBlue
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20 Replies
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BrownEyesBl, I am sending you a huge virtual hug. You are going through a difficult time. A break up is hard enough to go through without being alone. I went through a really tough break up alone and I would have loved to have had some support. You are not alone. You have this community here. We all care about you. I am sorry for your nieces harsh words. It sounds very out of order. Are you still having therapy?
Yes. Still doing the therapy. And the medications. I’m just so stressed. I just feel broken and lonely. Oh the loneliness and being alone is the worse feeling in the world 😢
I think you are right. Feeling lonely is just so awful. I would post on here when you feel alone so you have people to talk to. It is great you still have therapy and are taking the medications.
I am experiencing the lonliness as you are. I try to do things to meet people, however, most people my age already have their own families, grandchildren, etc. If anyone has any suggestions how to meet people (I am 73, female), please give me suggestions. Thank you.
First, calm down....I will talk to you whenever you need someone to listen. Believe me, I know where you're coming from.
I've been on this site for a year and I was a lot like you when I started. Broken, shattered and alone.
But, I met my sweetie on this site and I am here to tell you that there is always hope and you shouldn't give up.
However, I will take it further and chat with you whenever I am available and you need me. Otherwise, I will always answer you when you send me a message.
I have strong shoulders and 2 ears that are not busy right now. So you can pm me or talk to me here. I repeat, I will always answer.
I will listen to whatever you want to say as many times as you want to say it. I will also pray for you too. I want you to turn your life around and rediscover the beauty and sunshine all around you.
Remember, you are one of a kind! More rare than the most precious jewel....You are worth treasuring just for that fact alone!
JEG325
Sorry, I relate to how you feel, the problem is when we are ill we try and explain how we feel and expect people who we trusted when we were ok. What can happen, some people become frightened and are unable to relate to your mental health concern. This can also cause problems as you keep trying to explain how you feel, the person feels you are going on a bit and eventually walk away.
You need to talk to someone so CBT may help where you can discuss all your concerns and gain suggestions on how to control your Depression/ Anxiety.
You are so right. I think I am inclined to push people away. The trouble is that when you are consumed with anxiety it's difficult to be able to talk or feel about anything else, and as you say we push people away.
I feel the same and you expect your family to understand but they don’t. I also feel people pull away because they see the weakness and it bothers them. I think it’s a natural instinct to detest weakness that’s why there are bullies because there are people who can’t stand to see the weakness that is so evident and maybe contagious and they want to either avoid it (you) or stomp it down the way a bully does. So I stopped expecting someone to just magically appear to come and help me and make me feel better. You have to do it yourself which is discouraging but when you start to feel better about yourself, people won’t see the gloom and doom you were portraying before and they’ll start to come around. It sucks because you need people to be there for you now not when you are happy, but who really wants to be around such sadness. It just doesn’t work that way, so we have to somehow get happy on our own.
Let me just say I am new to this forum, and this was the first entry I read. However, I wanted to reach out to you. I’ve feel I’ve been in your shoes and still am to an extent. Not sure if you have pets but they are about the only thing that love you unconditionally and are always happy to see you. Increasing your spiritual side helps too. Sometimes it’s worse to have someone that lives with you and still be lonely. To quote Marilyn Monroe “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together”. I have acquaintances but few close friends and I let very few know everything about me, unfortunately even my therapist. I guess I’m scared of being judged. Please hang in their and feel free to reach out to me if you ever need to talk.
I have a younger sister (10 years) and sends me emails she want no calls, em's, vm's, texts, nothing from me. She will not explain nor tell me why she wants no contact with me at all.
Her cold heartedness creates depression and anxiety to me because she refuses to tell my why. She lives in San Diego and I live in Milwaukee, WI. I am 73 and she is 64. Any suggestions why a sibling is like this?
I know exactly how you feel. Like no one cares and there is no one you can turn to for help. Yes there are friends and loved ones but it is not the same. People need to learn this is an illness and with support we all can become better. Giving you lots of hugs. Wish i could do it in person but stay strong.
I know what it feels to be in your shoes ...I have lived a life in which it seemed like I was a burden to every one .....I felt so alone that I would only talk to my dolls made of gloves I sometimes only needed a hug and someone to listen to me......but here I have met a community of people who understand what I feel.....so feel positive I believe this community will help you ...whenever you feel alone just log in ... remember there is always a clear sky at the end of a storm ....don't give up there will always be a brighter tomorrow
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Alone and so tired. 
I’m so tired of being obsessed with my heart
So tired of being alone
just need to know I’m not alone
