Daily Grief Support---October 14, 2019 - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Daily Grief Support---October 14, 2019

BobJensen profile image

"Edgar, do you actually think that how long a person grieves is a measure of how much they loved someone? There's no rulebook that says how to do this." She laughed, bitterly. "Wouldn't that be great? No decisions to make. Everything laid right out for us. But there's no such thing. You want facts, don't you? Rules. Proof. You're like your father that way. Just because a thing can't be logged, charted, and summarized doesn't mean it isn't real. Half the time we walk around in love with the idea of a thing instead of the reality of it. But sometimes things don't turn out that way. You have to pay attention to what's real, what's in the world. Not some imaginary alternative, as if it's a choice we could make."

- David Wroblewski, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle

There is no formula for grief - no average length for how long it takes someone to recover from a tragic loss. You can't count down to the last day of your grief

What you can do is continue to celebrate the small victories. You may have smiled and laughed today, or helped someone who needed it. Enjoy the small triumphs as they come, and know that each one leads to healing.

12 Replies

My parents---Robert and Luella Jensen, my Godparents---Viola and Floyd Gill

Viola is my Mom's first cousin. She is still alive. She is 96. The rest are deceased. I call Viola often and write letters and send photos. She lives in Fort Dodge, Iowa where I was born. Viola reminds me so much of my Mom. They were very close. Viola is ready to die. She has some health problems. I tell her that she is still alive to pray for all of us. Her memory is good. She tells stories of when she and my Mom were little. They make me feel good. She is one of the many people God put in my life because I need her.

P.S. I live in El Paso, Texas. 66 years living now in El Paso, Texas

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to BobJensen

She sounds like a special lady. God bless Viola.

BobJensen profile image
BobJensen in reply to Dolphin14


I agree with you Bob in that everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time.

I think what has bothered me the most is how the family gathering around the holiday table got

less and less over the years. The last one being my mother who truly was the Matriarch

of the family. God bless her for keeping the family together right down to the end. xx

BobJensen profile image
BobJensen in reply to Agora1

Thanks for sharing. Holidays are always stressful.

Hi, so sorry for your loss... just remember when them come into your dreams they are around us.... I lost my dad and in two months same year I lost my mother in a car accident... very hard but they came in my dreams to tell me they were very happy... I believe... :)

BobJensen profile image
BobJensen in reply to EMB1225

Thanks. I am sorry for your loss. Too close together.

EMB1225 profile image
EMB1225 in reply to BobJensen

Yes, it was... hope you are doing better!

BobJensen profile image
BobJensen in reply to EMB1225

I am doing better. My daughter is expecting any day now. The due date is November 1. This is her first child. It is a girl. I am very excited.

Congrats! Always nice to have a little bundle of joy around.... I hope and pray my daughter gets to that stage someday... Enjoy!

BobJensen profile image
BobJensen in reply to EMB1225

They live in Washington, D.C. We live in El Paso, Texas. We will visit for 5 weeks.

EMB1225 profile image
EMB1225 in reply to BobJensen

Good morning! Hope you have a wonderful time.... I live in Arizona.... :)

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