Spousal depression- lost and hurting

[cherub1230]

This is my first post so I’m not sure where to begin, but I guess it starts with my fiancé. He suffers from undiagnosed depression, and it seems to only be getting worse, especially in the last few months. I used to be stronger and able to smile it away with positive thinking, but it’s starting to really affect me. I find myself unhappy, and using negative coping skills to suppress my pain. I do love him dearly but sometimes I’m not sure if I can do this for the rest of my life. He used to have good weeks, but now it only lasts a few days, at most. I know a lot of it stems from his past, but he doesn’t want to seek help. He’s completely changed to this cruel and heartless person. On the good days, I get a glimpse of who he used to be. I’m just lost on what to do. I don’t want to leave him when he’s hurting, but I know I can’t keep doing this. Has anyone gone through anything similar?

[Titan4757]

I haven't gone through this but I can understand your position. Marriage is a life long commitment...that's a big one. You only want the best for him and I'm sure he does for you. If I had a fiance I would think I can totally trust that person with anything from my past and share or seek help. This is for you to ultimately decide but keep pushing. I'm a stubborn guy like your fiance. We don't always want help or feel emasculated by sharing our feelings...it's a guy thing. I do know that if anyone can help him it's you or maybe his folks? Maybe find a therapist and schedule an appointment and attend it with him? Good luck to you!

[lovetodance2018]

I am glad you reach out here. Both my husband and I have struggled with depression. It is hard on the relationship. Sounds like you really love him. My first suggestion is encourage him to get help. Untreated depression can become fatal. It is so important that he seeks professional help. He doesn't like how he feels but is afraid to get help. Encourage him that getting help will make the difference in his life and your life together. You might also want to consider counseling for yourself. You also need support and encouragement. Here is an article about depression that I think may be helpful for you. bit.ly/2IyZINQ

What helps my husband and myself with depression. Is journaling our thoughts, praying over them and praying together. It is hard to know what causes depression and that it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It affects some but not others. Seeking help is your best way to begin healing from depression. I will be praying for you. Hugs and Blessings!

[BonnieSue in reply to lovetodance2018]

I couldn't access this link from my MacBook Pro. Does it still work for you?

[lovetodance2018 in reply to BonnieSue]

This particular site doesn't work through HU. However, I found another article I think will work for you. bit.ly/2EypYs4 See if this one works. Thanks and let me know if you ever want to chat. Hugs!

[lovetodance2018]

How are things going this week? I have been praying for you.