I am afraid of spiders. On a ridiculous level. I enter rooms looking for them. Feel a tickle on my leg, think it’s a spider. Scream out, no matter where, if the tickle on my leg has a suspicious looking black fuzz involved.
Shake all clothing before wearing. Shake my towel before drying. Sometimes that’s not enough and things get turned inside out just to be sure. I’ve been like this for a long time. But recently, it’s been keeping me inside my house. Last night, I needed to go out for milk. But because it was dark outside and the porch light only draws more bugs, (forget my flashlight, things swarm to it too) I didn’t leave. I panicked and cried instead. My husband is getting milk after work today because I couldn’t leave the house.
Overall my depression has been easier to manage. I have moments but I’ve been doing okay. No suicidal crying sprees or screaming sessions. You know, the crazy moments have really toned down over the last few weeks.
So, why is my anxiety for certain things ... and mainly spiders/bugs in this case... getting exponentially worse?