I feel anxiety has stole so much

[Spooky99]

I am new here & have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks all my life I am 51 years old and I feel I’ve lost out on so much even with doctors help,medication , & therapy. medication gets me to somewhat function. I self medicated with alcohol ,now I am sober many years but I feel very mad that I lost out on a lot in life. Luckily I have a family. Does anyone else feel this way? Now that i am older , I’m looking back, and I’m angry. But I guess it’s better then any other disease. Thanks

[jocie609]

I can definitely understand your anger...however I am glad that you have a family who loves you (I am assuming). Yes anxiety can steal your life because it sometimes leave you unable to enjoy the everyday things because your nerves are so rattled that it's hard to calm down and be in the moment. I know this from experience. I have had some form of anxiety since I was a small child. I feel like over the last 8 or so years I have allowed anxiety to steal life from me which is why I get angry as well. This has been a very supportive space for me to share with others who have things in common with me. Yes I am glad that I dont have any other medical mental health issues so I guess I always be thankful because it could be worse!

[Spooky99 in reply to jocie609]

Thank you! I’m also tiered of being tiered from medication. Lately I feel I just exist lol

[Hidden]

What have you lost out on?..im.sorta starting to think the same..im 44..hoping im not missing out but im trying not to since im aware..it also means we are focusing on the past..i strongly believe though, we need to deal with the cards we are dealt and not the ones we wish were dealt..lets look forward to something..good luck..

[Spooky99 in reply to Hidden]

I just got done taking care of my friend who passed away from cancer in June. I did everything for her! She had tubes everywhere! I changed bandages. I thought to myself, I would have been a great nurse!! I barely got through high school because of panic attacks. It’s something that I was thinking about. Sometimes I’m so tiered to do things because of meds. But then it’s the only way to do things. We go to concerts, I have to sit on the end. My son got married, I was in fear of an attack. I know compared to my girlfriends cancer, this is minor. I don’t like crowds. I can’t eat out. I could go on and on. Maybe I just feel sorry for myself!! My husband is good to me. But I feel I just exist and get by. Mental illness is no joke. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I have to say this all started at age 17 when I smoke pot and became paranoid. Whenever I get a panic attack I get the same feeling of detachment!!! It’s horrible

[jocie609 in reply to Spooky99]

Well I agree that it is not as bad as cancer however it is just as debilitating because it stops you from living your life. I agree about how it can steal from you because I work at a hospital as a chaplain and I see life and death everyday. Starting next week, I will be working at the hospital which is called the trauma center and I am praying that I didnt sign myself up for failure. I dont really like to drive as much as I used to because I am always afraid of having a panic attack in the car. Then I have to remember that I have to drive because my boyfriend doesnt mind driving me now because he's out of work but when he goes back I have to drive.

[jocie609 in reply to Hidden]

Yes that is true about focusing on the present instead of the past yet sometimes we can learn a lot from the past if we are willing to deal with it. In the meantime, let's use both what we learn from the past and what we are learning now and move forward. Good things are happening as well...

[Madam2020]

Hi Spooky99, yes, I'm angry at the way my mental health has affected my life. At 56 years now I'm divorced, no children and very isolated. My family has alienated me because once l was diagnosed l was labeled "crazy" and even though l have had lots of therapy and recovery, I'm still not on good terms with them. I live a lonely life dealing with depression and anxiety daily. I'm glad you found this site, we can chat more if you'd like. Enjoy your day. Madam.

[Spooky99 in reply to Madam2020]

Awe thanks so much!! I’d like that!!!!!

[Madam2020 in reply to Spooky99]

Great! I promise to avoid ghosting on you but l have been diagnosed borderline personality disorder so l am guilty of doing it in the past. It's difficult for me to make friends and harder to keep them but I'm still willing to try.

[Spooky99 in reply to Madam2020]

Your not bothering me a bit. I’m just trying to figure out how all this works on here lol. I’m sorry for what your going through!!! I’ll chat anytime

[Madam2020 in reply to Spooky99]

Fantastic! I tend to be on ahain off again at times, not intentionally, it's my own fear of rejection and low self-esteem at work. I'm learning how to work this site too!

[jocie609 in reply to Madam2020]

I am willing to chat with the both of you if yall dont mind...I am new to this as well...

[Madam2020 in reply to jocie609]

Great Jocie, I'm trying to make new friends and offer support too

[jocie609 in reply to Spooky99]

I am willing to chat with the both of you if yall dont mind...I am new to this as well

[Spooky99 in reply to jocie609]

Thanks so much! It means a lot!!

[Sabio77]

Welcome @spooky99. thank you for reaching out here where people have similar situations. You are never alone. I am happy to meet you. I am an overcomer of 3 deep depressions. I'm curious, how do you cope with these emotions and panic attacks? there are natural everyday methods that helped me, not thru herbs. sending you hugs of encouragement. Here is you wish to talk.

[Spooky99 in reply to Sabio77]

Hi! I’d love to hear what you do!! I am on medication. Antidepressants and clonopin. Which ruins my day. I’m always tiered. So my choice is to be tiered or anxious. When I get a attack I take a Xanax. Lovely right! Lol. I use to self medicate with alcohol. I’ve been in AA a long time. I just started going to the gym. I think that makes me feel better!!! Thanks for reaching out!