Done

[Angel-Love22]

What do you do when you feel like nothings ever going to get better? You’re life will never change for the good, and you feel you have no purpose in life anymore unless it’s making people mad at you all the time?

[Hidden]

You get a better attitude and perspective. If not it will never ever change. Work on changing one thing. Then the next.

[dragonfly6 in reply to Hidden]

With depression, changing your attitude and perspective isn’t as easy as just wanting it to be different. You can’t pull yourself up by your bootstraps if your bootstraps are broken. I recommend CBT and/or DBT and working with a trained professional. Sometimes it feels like all is lost. That is the depression talking. Therapy and psychiatry can help, but it takes time. Life is constantly changing and how you feel in this moment will not last forever. Do what you can when you can to improve your situation, even if all you can do in the moment is something small. If it gets to the point where it feels like too much to bear reach out for crisis support.

[Hidden in reply to dragonfly6]

I meant no effense and I'm not trying to be dismissive but in my experience a good attitude and positive perspective works wonders. I have experienced physical abuse, emotional and sexual abuse, sexual assault, miscarriages, divorce, hospitalizations, ptsd from a near death experience, homelessness, addiction, poverty, and now living with an unemployed husband and having my family live with in laws for two years so far. Therapy and meds don't work for me. But saying to myself life isn't so bad, good things can happen in my future and I have purpose in life just by being alive instantly changes how I feel and then I can make positive changes. I think that's the difference between people with a woe is me attitude and negativity and those that have been through so much and still keep going expecting things to get better. Why not try it? The power of Intention, the book helped me come to this realization.

I do appreciate your input as well.

[dragonfly6 in reply to Hidden]

Im so sorry to hear that you have experienced such a great deal of trauma in your lifetime. I’m also really glad to hear that you found something that works for you.

Speaking from my personal experience with depression, sometimes there is no trauma or situation that causes the depression, it just happens and it can be overwhelming. Having a negative outlook and feeling like nothing will ever get better are symptoms, not character flaws.

People who have told me in the past to just change my outlook or just change my situation and I will feel better have not helped me. Well meaning people who have said these kinds of things to me have actually been counterproductive. When I have been unable to change my negative thought patterns and self destructive behavior with sheer will power I have felt more hopeless, flawed and misunderstood than before.

Therapies like CBT and DBT that use skills and tools to counteract unproductive thought/emotion/behavior patterns have been the most helpful to me personally and have higher success rates, as supported by scientific research, than other kinds of therapy. They give you strategies to change your internal thought process that says nothing will ever get better, and to change your behavior in ways that are more effective. They take time and effort to learn, and having a professional to help you learn them is helpful to a lot of people.

That said, there is no one thing that works for everyone, so if you found something else that works better for you then stick with it! All I’m trying to say is that the way you have said that you handle hard times doesn’t work for everyone with depression. But if it works for you, keep doing what you’re doing!

[dragonfly6 in reply to dragonfly6]

Also, “saying to myself life isn't so bad, good things can happen in my future and I have purpose in life just by being alive” are things we learned in my DBT skills class. It’s good advice, I’m not trying to discount that.

[dragonfly6 in reply to dragonfly6]

Judging yourself because you have negative thoughts however is not effective. If you can’t convince yourself that life is ok, it doesn’t mean that you are inferior, it just means that things are hard right now. Radically accepting that “this is how I’m thinking/feeling right now” is sometimes the best we can do. Maybe in another moment “my life has meaning” will feel more believable. And if judgements do arise, just notice that you are judging yourself and don’t judge the judging. It can be a first step.

[Agora1]

Angel-Love22, I've learned over the years that we can never say never in what life

may bring us, good or bad. Life is full of challenges I agree but also filled with

experiences that allow us to grow emotionally. We all have a purpose in life and

as long as we can draw a breath, that purpose doesn't stop. Believe in yourself and

good things will come your way. Life has a way of sending an Angel your way just

when you least expected it. xx

[Mary-intussuception]

You rest ? For a while.

Take some "time out" . Don't worry about other people for the time being.

Just concentrate on you.

Treat yourself to your favourite food. Have some quality quiet time. Go somewhere nice on your own , to a place of interest for some distraction.

Don't let others or life dictate to you.

Take a hold of your life and live it as you choose - be at peace wirh everyone as far as it is up to you. If they don't accept you - walk away. Don't argue (it's not worth it).

If you make others mad or they make you made - steer clear of them. Keep well away from them till you feel better able to cope.

Let cruel things people say go over your head. Avoid stress and stressful situations.

You are possibly exhausted, possibly dehydrated. Try get some early nights. Drink lots of water and eat well.

Look after you.

There is only one of you - you are unique.

Be kind to yourself. x

God Bless xXx

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I was lying in a hospital bed having my second brain surgery in 4 months. This one was not planned. I died and had an out of body experience. When I was back in my body I felt all the pain crash in on me despite anesthesia. In my head I said good-bye to my kids and told them I loved them and then asked God to please take me. There were no TVs in Neuro icu but at the time Phillips Magnavox had a Beatles song in the commercial; ‘it’s getting better all the time’. No tv anywhere but I heard it loud and clear. It made me smile, which hurt, and I started getting better. When only being somewhere else will stop the pain do you stop trying. Since you can’t stop the pain but just transfer it to someone else then you keep going. And let me say sometimes just deciding to do nothing today is a good day.

[NeuronerdDoaty]

I remember the only thing that ever stays the same is change.

[Madam2020]

Hi Angel-Love22, l like that name. I am here after asking myself almost the exact same question. Why am l still even alive when it's so painful to me? What's my purpose here? Why do l feel like giving up daily and why do l keep hoping it will change? I hope you've found others like yourself who can give you support. I for one thank you for being someone brave enough to say whay I've been thinking. If you'd like to keep in touch, l promise to reply. Hang on. Pain ends. "Madam"