I want to die: Everyday i go to sleep... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I want to die

lililililola
lililililola
17 Replies

Everyday i go to sleep wishing i won’t wake up the next day. I have been having this feeling for a long time. Though i have the best bf in the world l, i still feel worthless and a failure. I was never able to achieve anything i wanted no matter how hard i tried.

Now i feel alone, i have no friends and my family are not understandable. They even hate my bf. I haven’t talked to them in 2 weeks .

I just wish this would come to an end.

17 Replies
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Tutttutt

And it will one day at a time! Life is too precious to have it all to end! I’ve been there and feelings come and go but what I’ve learned is that you need to take control of your mind to take control of your life! I seriously mean that tell yourself today is going to be a shit hot day and see how it works out 💪 if tough things arise treat it as a challenge like not talking to your family take the first step talk to them let them know you want them around but you also want your bf around too. Another thing to do is focus on your self and try liking yourself .... your here for a reason don’t waste it instead make the most of it keep going forward and take the good bad and ugly and show your mind your in control. Go out have fun meet people live your life... if things your not happy with change it for the better Xx

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lawdog

It is very hard to think positively when your head is telling you nothing is going to be different. Your head is wrong, and you are undervaluing yourself. Think it's not that you want to die, think maybe you really want to live, but not live this way. Is it possible you tried to accomplish things that really are not a match for your talents and intelligence . You are lonely, but have a good bf who is in your life, even when you have these feelings. Do not harm yourself; if you do that there may not be the opportunities to make a better life.

Talk with your bf about how you feel. He'll listen and can handle you leaning on him for awhile. Just get through this night, then the next and then the next. It is rather a good thing that you know what you couldn't accomplish. You learned from failures, and can apply that to your next try. Get some input from your family, your bf, anyone you know, and maybe people you don't know but are available to help you decide what would be a good match for you. You are not the only person who has the feelings you are having now. Maybe some other members of this venue who have and I am hoping they reply to you. I care. Just get through this night.

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Jeff1943

Just before Catharine Howard, one of King Henry VIII's luckless wives, was executed she looked skyward and said "How...beautiful...life...is!" The moral of this story is: don't leave it too late to appreciate the beautiful things in life.

What is causing your unhappiness: the fact that your family doesn't like your bf? More than that I think but what? Maybe because you haven't been successful yet in any of your endeavours?

Those things that ended in failure give you the experience to be successful the next time. That's how it works. Great things are not easily won. So awake and greet the dawn and the opportunities of the coming day.

You've had a failure or two. Luck deserted you for a while. But with persistance and a growing belief in yourself there is no reason why you should not achieve all that your heart desires. Don't give up without a fight.

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sweetiepye
sweetiepye
in reply to Jeff1943

Or don't marry monstrous old men. As if she had a choice poor thing.

1 like
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Jeff1943
Jeff1943
in reply to sweetiepye

Have you seen the 'Tudors' series on TV. I think she grew to love him and she was completely innocent of all charges against her.

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sweetiepye
sweetiepye
in reply to Jeff1943

I did enjoy that series , but they played it a little loose with the facts. She was a Howard and they were an ambitious family. She was I think a pawn caught in a political trap. An innocent to a degree. The Tudors were a most interesting family with one of the first propaganda machines. Don't you wonder who killed the princes in the tower ? I do not think Richard did it. Pam

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Jeff1943
Jeff1943
in reply to sweetiepye

They did take liberties with the truth but as the writer said at the time: we're producing a piece of dramatic art not a documentary.

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sweetiepye
sweetiepye
in reply to Jeff1943

I enjoyed it very much. Wonderful actors and you certainly got the flavor of the times. What is that quote about power and corruption ? I can't recall.

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Jeff1943
Jeff1943
in reply to sweetiepye

"All power corrupts

And absolute power corrupts absolutely."

There were 38 one-hour episodes in the four seasons of The Tudors. I bought it 'used' on dvd and I have watched it 8 times! I watch it less now, I was beginning to speak in Old English!😆

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explorerPHX

i can totally relate to this feeling, i know it all too well

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sweetiepye

If I could , I would bring you into my house for awhile so you could feel safe and well cared for. Then you could rest for a time and perhaps talk about what is bothering you. You could shut out the noise of family and your bf and listen to your own inner voice, and make that the only one that is important. You can do this on your own too. Give yourself peace. No one needs to know the inner you. Keep those thoughts for yourself and let them make you stronger. You must be about you. Pam

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Want2BHappy3

I've been where you are, you feel so overwhelmed that you feel like you can't take it anymore, death seems like your only way out? Stop talking to you're friends and family about what your going through, they want it to go away. So I pretend everything's fine it's easier that way, even with my kids who have chosen to isolate me. You need to seek counseling.

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aktoortopa

I agree-- it has been easier just to pretend with most people. Almost no one wants to hear about our true thoughts (I think about the end every single day. Every. Single. Day. and yet most people think and say, "you're doing so much better." I"ve told 3 people I still cry every day and two were shocked and the other just say, "other people aren't worth it." Then who really is???? makes no sense.). Find ONE thing.. no matter what it is... ONE thing.. a plant, a rock, a pill (not a handful), a book, this website.. that will get you to the next day. You are okay just the way you are. If you want to change, you can work toward that, too. I will not, however, promise that things will change dramatically.

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fauxartist

Wanting to die is wanting a drastic change in the way your life is now. This is the problem, and what you want are solutions....what can you change and what do you have to learn to accept for what it is. If you have suicidal ideation, that is something a professional needs to help you with so you can understand why and how to deal with this. If you are suffering from depression...again...this is a brain chemistry thing that for some can be helped with but not cured with SSRI's....but some prefer other methods.

You deserve to be happy, and you can learn to love yourself for who you are, self loathing often is a result of low self esteem from possibly enviornmental issues, those need to also be addressed in therapy.....please find any kind of support you can, online, school, or therapy.

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Maggy72

Hey!! Will you pl do this lttle exercise everyday ? Stand in front of the mirror and say this to yourself, i love you , you are the best person and i am grateful and i am happier today than i was yesterday’s. I do and will always keep loving you. Let me know if you feel any change. You can scare away all negativity. I am sure .

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lililililola

Thank you guys for your support. However i still feel lost. I couldn’t get out of bed today. Had a fight with my sister telling me she hates me and i can go to hell.

I didn’t eat anything all day and feel nauseous.

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