My wife hit me last night

[argh52]

The only thing to say is of course the one thing I don't want to hear. I started it in that she was screaming at the top of her lungs while our son was asleep and I went towards her to put my hand on her mouth. I've been manic, I only recently realized, and I'm always really s$(!&#y to her while that's ramping up. She didn't actually hurt me. Does that still count? All I want now is for her to hold me and comfort me, which, ya know, classic. She hasn't mentioned it and I suspect she doesn't remember as I think this might have been her second rage-induced blackout I'm aware of in the 12 years I've known her. There's really only one response to this, and as I've said I don't want to hear it. Yet here I am. Here we are.

[Hidden]

I really feel for the both of you.... it's time to sit and have a long heart to heart conversation...... it's never okay to put your hands on anyone.... at least that's how I feel , you get better results using your words... I wish you the best with this...

Dump trucks of love, peace, light, joy and groovy hugs!

[Hidden]

Sorry for your struggles. 😔 but yes..facing up to the seriousness of the whole thing is a big part of dealing with it.

You both must be utterly miserable.

Black out or not the issue of hitting another person requires addressing ..and massive consideration to your son, who I’m presuming is quite young..I still suffer with severe trauma from hearing my parents fighting and the fears I felt 😔

Best wishes xx

[Coral43]

I feel for both of you as I know this feeling all too well. My kids grew up hearing me and there dad fight all the time and that is one of my biggest regrets. I know that people fight and that most kids will see or hear it, but growing up hearing this fighting all the time has made my children question relationships, which I hate. The one thing that I wish I would have done is really sit down with my husband so we could talk about everything, but we didn't and now we are at the end of our marriage, and we are just holding on until our last child graduates high school, which is this coming up May. I hate to see someone else go through years of this, so the only thing that I can suggest is to sit down with your wife and really talk through everything, and maybe if you think it will help go to counseling together.

[argh52 in reply to Coral43]

We are in counselling. Our therapist has been on vacation and so incredibly luckily, today is our first session in about a month? An incredibly stressful month in which we moved. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks and as I said I'm getting manic.

This stopped being relevant to your comment at some point

[hypercat54]

Hi I wonder if she thought you were going to hit her when you went towards her? I listened to my parents fighting and it was awful so I think you both need to make a pact to keep this from them as much as possible. x

[argh52 in reply to hypercat54]

One of my biggest regrets is how poorly we've shielded him from our fights. We've really f$&:#d that up and it's not ok or fair to him. We've resolved to be better and we are better, but our poor son...

[argh52]

What no one is saying. What I am profoundly relieved that no one is saying, is that I don't have to pack up my son and get out. That was what I was afraid you guys would say. I don't want that.

[argh52]

I trust our therapist to the end of the earth. She says that if it's only happened once in twelve years, in the middle of one of the most stressful periods of our lives together, while I'm being manic and mean to her, it's probably not something I have to worry about.

We actually have a long history of showing up to our appointment wanting to kill each other and ourselves, and then with like 5 minutes left in the session one of us makes a joke and then we all of a sudden laugh and start liking each other again. Today was one of those.

I think I'm going to be okay.

We do still need to keep our son out of it though. I hear you all. You are NOT wrong about that.

[Jennblank7734]

I was really waiting to see a reply that mentioned where you said you moved towards her to put your hand over her mouth. I just feel like this is in the same hand as her hitting you. As soon as I read it my first thought is I would hit someone for doing that too. In no way at all am I saying that it was right to happen. I think its more like everyone should keep their hands to themselves and only use touch and contact in a nice way. I'm very sorry you are both suffering. I'm happy that you are both open to therapy. Is it the only time you've went together? In my mind I'm thinking there must be different types offered is all. Good luck.