So, last night I went to meet my boss for sex... I knew I was going there to have sex, but he thought it was crazy that I had never been drunk before so he wanted to see me drunk. He gave me one drink and it had a pill that dissolved while he was making it which I didn't see or know about. And after taking a few sips everything got groggy and I fell limp. All I remember is waking up with him onto of me and he was so heavy I couldn't do anything. This morning when I woke up, he was gone and I felt kind of a hangover I guess. My head was pounding so I just slept. I don't know what to consider this and I don't really know why I feel like I was taken advantage of even though I went there with the intention to have sex..... I don't know what to think or how to feel.
The reason I am on here: So, last night... - Anxiety and Depre...
Sweetheart you were raped. You may have gone knowing you were going to have sex but any time you can’t consent it’s rape. I don’t know what you want to do about it. Why would you put yourself at such risk? Anything could have happened to you. Never go anywhere when you don’t have full control. Don’t ever give up your power.
I didn't know the night was going to go down like that... I thought it would be much different.
I’m sure sweetie. No one would do that on purpose. I would want you to be more aware next time. Now you know you get ruffied and raped. I would hope you report him but if you don’t I certainly understand. He’s a pervert. Stay away from him and protect yourself. Sending you peace and love 💛
I don't want to make it a big deal. Most people would say I brought it on myself. What would I think would happen? I don't want to be bashed for going there.. I really just want to be okay and I feel like things just keep happening. I don't even know what I did to deserve any of it..
And I'm on here telling a random stranger how I am feeling when I can't say these things outloud to anyone...
It’s easier and I swear grandma pheromones come through whatever I type. Lol! You didn’t ‘deserve’ it but you allowed yourself to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It just means you will use more forethought next time and be sure someone knows where you are always! Please.
This is the very definition of date rape. Going with the intent to have sex is irrelevant the moment he drugged your drink. You no longer had the ability to consent or deny consent which you can legally do at ANY time, even in the middle of sex.
I know this is conflicting and scary but I highly recommend pressing charges. You have no idea what he gave you or what he actually did to you.
I am so sorry 💔
I really don't want to make it a big deal.. I'm the idiot that went there to have sex with a grown man....
You didn’t go there to be drugged so he could use your body any way he wanted to. He’s a perv. He knew he was getting sex so why drug you? That’s perverted. You are not going to do that again. And, you don’t have sex with coworkers. It will mess up your job. Money is important.
That's very true... MONEY IS SO IMPORTANT.. especially since I currently have $7 to my name lol
You were going to have sex willingly. Ask yourself, why did he feel it necessary to drug you to a point of unconsciousness? He has possibly done this before and he'll probably do it again. You were victimized by him and at this point you're doing exactly what predators expect and blaming yourself. Yes, you could have not taken that drink but had he not had malicious intent, it wouldn't have mattered. Just think about it, research and read date rape stories and see if it sounds the same... Your report could save other women from this same situation.
In the end, do what's best for yourself and stay strong.
I too am sorry for what happened to you. I hope you press charges, minimally to protect his future victims. If he stoops low enough to drug you, Im sure he has other scary issues you dont even know. Plus he is your boss, how many other young, unsuspecting women is he harrassing, molesting, etc. Please press charges. If this was your daughter, what would you tell her?
You have been raped and this is against the law. Please don't put yourself in dangerous situations like this for your own sake. Anything could have happened to you after he drugged you. For all you know he could have been a serial killer and you wouldn't be here talking to us about it. Or he could have beaten you to within an inch of your life. x
No she hasn't. She literally states it in first sentence.
No matter whether she has gone for sex willingly or not it is rape if she is not able to give consent at the time. You can't give consent if you are drugged as she was. So this is date rape.
This is the case in the UK but maybe things are different in the USA? x
I’m sorry to hear what happened to you.
I realise you are in USA , I am in uk, but it sounds like it would help you to contact a helpline service for rape and talk to them, they will understand your fears and be able to advise confidentially if you wish..
Here is an example of a help service in uk Which includes some information on experiences of sexual violence/abuse which may help.
What this guy did is dangerous
" it had a pill that dissolved while he was making it which I didn't see or know about."
How do you know about it then?
as a lawyer I'd love to hear much more detail, but I got only this much time and this is my outlook:
1. if you went for sex - obviously you cannot claim he made sexual advances
2. but if you knew and can prove (e.g. the glass or your blood analysis shows traces of some knockout agent) he drugged you [though there may be some legal practice and examples from your specific country, regarding unconsented drug administratin], you can claim he put you in a vulnerable position (e.g. what if the house caught on fire?) and then had sex with you without your knowledge (though you went with idea to screw, you still can refuse consent. You did not consent to be unconscious during it). AND you definitely did not approve using drugs, other than alcohol.
3. Technically you could get lawyer and confront boss on charges of unconsented drug administration and then taking advantage of you being in an unconscious state. Those are have charges, more likely than not he'd want to settle this outside court.
--- I must stress - I hope you are telling the truth, rather than making this up, because false accusations are something that can put you in prison. So please don't be the typical "all men trying to rape me" feminist as we see online, but if you actually have a case of being abused, be sure to swiftly contact a lawyer.
In the UK the stats show that women who make false accusations about rape is actually very tiny, but they are the ones you tend to hear about.
Of much more concern to me and others is that they reckon 9 out of 10 women still don't report rape and sexual abuse and with these old fashioned attitudes around I am not surprised.
Oh and I have never heard yet of any 'feminists' claiming rape when it wasn't. That isn't a criteria for true feminism, but only how men (and some women) perceive it. It's just another way to bash women surely? I will not say any more on this coz I have strong feelings about it and don't want to cause dissent on the site. x
the next morning he snap chatted me about the night before and i told him i didn’t remember much. he then told me he put a pill in my drink to help call my nerves because i kept saying i was scared of what we were doing.
although i know all of this and y’all are telling me i have a case and can file charges.... i’m not. i’m not making this up but i also am really scared... and i’ve seen cases like this and nothing happens... i will not go through all of that and then nothing happen... why would i come on this site to make this up? i want this site to be my safe place to be able to talk about the things that have happened to me. because i can’t talk to anyone about these things...
oh, nice. If you have a message, I think you need to swiftly
1. find lawyer
2. confront him
3. seek multi-billion settlement
A good lawyer will tell you what you can expect. I suggest you don't hesitate a second - for example getting traces from your blood of this drug is important. May be impossible in a month.
Be at ease - if you have a good case, use it. After all you can only gain money, and perhaps stop this person using other girls for pleasure.
How old are you btw?
You need to have a rape kit done if you want to go any further with this. You only have so many hours to do that.
If you press charges you need proof that it happened.
i don’t want anything done about it.....
I was just giving you that advice.
My friend is a sexual assault nurse so I thought I would share that information.
I'm sorry this happened to you. No one deserves to be treated this way.
i don’t have any money. any insurance. i cant afford anything really... how am i supposed to afford a lawyer. or go to the hospital.... like i just done
I'm sorry. These are things that weren't said in the thread.
I do believe you could have a public defender.
As someone said you can call the rape hotline and get some advice. Even if you don't want to do anything Mayb they can offer some counseling and support to you right now. They are trained in the field. Use them as a resource to make sure none of us here are missing anything that could help you.
Again, I'm so sorry for what you have been through.
Meeting your 'boss' for sex and knowing he wanted to see you get drunk for the first time should of raised a red flag! Your boss was probably much older than you and possibly married. Hopefully he didnt record this. Things could of been much worse for you. Good luck with your job and i hope you learned a lesson.
its Sounding to me like you were groomed..Please take care..
He sexually assaulted you. Clearly he likes it like that. Please no more sex with the boss or random strangers. Sometimes things don’t turn out as you plan.