2 deaths in less than a week...

[TheFightGoesOn]

I just got done being afraid of losing my husband due to an illness.

A few days ago I found out that my mom's exes father passed away.

Today I found out that my husbands Uncle passed away.

In 5 years, I've lost a total of 10 people now.

I'm at work and trying so hard to keep it together.

[Jeff1943]

Maybe your anxiety is making you worry unnecessarily about your husband dying. I bet all those people you mention who have died are still a very small proportion of all the people you know.

There's no reason to believe your husband will pass over before his time so don't spoil your enjoyment of life worrying about something most unlikely to happen.

Take and enjoy every day at a time. Sufficient unto the day thereof. You have nothing to fear, everything is fine for you.

[TheFightGoesOn in reply to Jeff1943]

No, my fear for my husband was from an illness he had 2 weeks ago. 3 weeks almost now. He was really bad off. We jumped that hurdle already. He's still healing but better.

2 of the losses were my parents. Today's was our Uncle. Well, my husbands...

Just seems when I finally get the smile on my face & a tad happiness in me, something happens to take it away.

I'm just tired.

[Ollyvie]

Am sorry to hear about your loses in the past years. I know its not easy and can be overwhelming. Indeed, the fight still goes on but you have being a survivor through it all. You surely got what it takes to raise your above waters. The problem with "what if" thinking is that it shifts our focus. It pulls you into the future and away from enjoying the present. I pray and hope your husband get better. Take one day at a time and enjoy each passing day with the once you have around you now especially your husband and family. Sending love and hugs your way.

[TheFightGoesOn in reply to Ollyvie]

Thank you. My husband is finally doing better. I always do consider the ones that I still have around. I just try not to get too close to new people now. It's too scary meeting new people & getting too close. Just tired of losing all that I do love and care for.

[Ollyvie in reply to TheFightGoesOn]

I can understand how you are feeling. I pray God preserve and protect your loved once.