So I’ve been struggling with really severe depression and anxiety since 17,I’m 31 now.but I have never found a way to cope with my depression.I have moments when I’m not depressed but it always comes back and lingers for very long periods at a time.Ive been on a bunch of different antidepressants and none of them have ever helped.Ive also had 3 different therapist throughout my life.and nothing seems to help.I tend to isolate myself,And feel very alone majority of the time.Just feel like I’ll never beat this thing and be happy.Any suggestions
Been stuck in a deep depression for w... - Anxiety and Depre...
hi sorry to hear of your struggles hopefully it will pick up again and you get a long period of having a settled happier life.isolating yourself narrows down the chances of feeling better sometime we have to give ourselves an almighty push to make ourselves feel better.once we do that we can hopefully do almost anything.talking and having an active lifestyle are far the best two ways of living with our illness.do you have another family member or even a close friend that you can go out with doesn't need to be the other side of town just out for a coffee or a walk in your area and build up your confidence again.
Hi,Thanks for responding.I definitely have a hard time giving myself that hard push.I really just get stuck lay in my room and don’t want to do anything or budge and feel terrible the whole time doing it.And unfortunately the people around me don’t really do anything.Im told they don’t know how to help me.So they stay away from me completely .dont want to be a burden either but Not having anyone to talk to just makes me feel even more alone/lonely.and when they just carry on around me but don’t help or pay me no mind it really just hurts more where I feel like I’m better off just isolating myself then.
its not really about beating it we cant beat things we cant see but we can learn to live with it. acceptance gives us a better chance of having a better life fighting it usually always one winner and its not us.for the moment forget the world of friends even exists then set out about achieving betterness for yourself.set little goals gain a bit of confidence and self belief and let them grow.soon you could have a new circle of friends always encouraging you on.stuck behind four walls our minds will stand still even going out a ten minute walk or sitting in the garden listening to the world around you will do wonders.
Hi kenster1,Yea I hear what you saying even if it might be hard to see or even picture myself not feeling this way.My gf is always telling me to think positive,listen to music,exercise and to will myself to get out this feeling.but it’s so hard to just get out of bed and actually take steps when all I can think is yeah right what’s any of that going to do.So I guess it really is a matter of trying more and believing things will and can get better.hard to be optimistic when having such a strong feeling of pessimism.but talking on here makes me really see how not alone I am with this illness.its kind of hard listening to other people that you honestly feel don’t really understand.especially when a lot of the things my girlfriend says just feels kind of offensive and lacks empathy.but idk if it’s just me taking things to heart or her lack of knowledge when it comes to this.My family can be really useless as well but I’m going to work on trying to express to them how they can help as oppose to just wanting them to help with no tools.I just joined this site yesterday but,I really see that I might for once found the support I need.I thank you all very much for responding and it really means a lot..especially the genuine confirmation that I don’t have to keep doing this alone..wishing you all the very very best!
I am trying to be constructive here so please take this in the spirit it’s meant.
Consider that maybe, just maybe, after 14 years your depression has become your ‘familiar way of being’.
Every time you catch yourself thinking....you’ll never beat this thing and be happy, change your brain, trick your brain into thinking that....minute by minute, or hour by hour or day by day I am getting happier, I do know the way....until it becomes reality.
Now, in the moments that you are not depressed, you gotta look at ways of increasing your feel good hormones. You will find these on a path, maybe behind a tree or resting on somebody’s garden gnome. Even better if the path is soaked in sunshine. The thing is you must walk there to even have a chance of finding these happiness hormones. You’ll find loads more if you walk every day. Doing things like this (some might call it exercise) will distract you from looking inward and backing up your story.
Also, when friends and family see you doing little things to help yourself, they may well join you because they’ll no longer feel rejected or helpless.
Medication and therapists can help.
The way I see it antidepressants take a few weeks at the right therapeutic dose to gradually lift your mood. For me, they felt like sitting on a safe cushion. They stopped me plummeting to new depths each day.
Ha, therapists? It’s like walking through a minefield to find the right one.
Anyway, when you’ve got bored listening to your story, start walking and breathing.
I wish you well.
Mike, Christophina said it perfectly. I am 49 and have had depression my entire life. My mindset is what I use to get me out of a depression mode, working out, walking and every now and then as needed medication (health issues so I try not to take to many meds). If you can find the right medication you will wish you took it long ago. As for a therapists I pray you find one. I'm still searching. It seems every couple of years I go on a search for that right one but no luck for me. Try medication, mindset, working out and eating healthy. Every time you use the restroom look in the mirror and tell yourself you can do this! you can do this, today Is a good happy day. train your thoughts, have that mindset. some days will be good and some harder than the day before but never give up. Unfortunately our family members dont know what to do. It's up to us to help ourselves. I know it's hard, I've struggled all my life, but I choose to also have that mindset that the day will get better or the next, it always does. heck the last two weeks have been rough but I am trying my best to have good days in between. I still laugh and still smile its the best medicine. sometimes I will listen to my favorite comedians on pandora to give me a chuckle. 😊
I’m not offended one bit especially since I know you’re speaking off experience.It does tend to be challenging when trying to find the proper meds,doctors or support but,I can definitely try in work on reprograming my thoughts and coping skills.changing my mindset over time,working out and eating properly could be a better step in the right direction.I can honestly say I hate the thought of having to “help myself” when I feel I myself barely know what I should be doing.but another part of me is so beat up from dealing with it for so long that I’m sure I’m not doing all I can to give myself more of a fair chance of survival and overcoming.or to at least get to a point where I can do daily activities and live without my depression and anxiety at the forefront of all my decisions.i wish you all nothing but the best.
I’m not offended one bit especially since I know you’re speaking off experience.It does tend to be challenging when trying to find the proper meds,doctors or support but,I can definitely try in work on reprograming my thoughts and coping skills.changing my mindset over time,working out and eating properly could be a better step in the right direction.I can honestly say I hate the thought of having to “help myself” when I feel I myself barely know what I should be doing.but another part of me is so beat up from dealing with it for so long that I’m sure I’m not doing all I can to give myself more of a fair chance of survival and overcoming.or to at least get to a point where I can do daily activities and live without my depression and anxiety at the forefront of all my decisions.
I’ve been thinking about you Mike and I wonder if you can see that tiny chink of light ahead. I do know that it can be very hard to find a way out of a dark place.
How are you feeling today?
Let’s start small.
Give yourself the compassion you would like from others.
Give yourself encouragement to do nice things for yourself.
I remember a turning point for me was colouring a clown fish in a child’s colouring book. One tiny achievement. Something I enjoyed doing as a child. It touched my heart when I could see colours close up.
Try not beating yourself up with all the things you think you ‘should’ be doing. It will hurt you and overwhelm you into a standstill.
You’ve heard the expression ‘baby steps’.
Remember to be patient with yourself Mike.
Hi,I actually feel really touched reading this..Just with you even saying you were thinking of me almost bought a tear to my eye to even feel that Someone could/can feel my pain.and have me in their thoughts.
And common sense tells me others are hurting.I just don’t know when the last time someone seemed to be genuinely empathetic about my depression in my life.And I’m now realizing a big part of my issue lies in all the time I’m wasting waiting for someone to understand and help me when a lot of the power to my recovery or wellbeing is within me.
Just like your saying,I need to work on giving that compassion to myself.
Because I’m actually doing myself a disservice.
And I knew I get caught in my depression and not give myself proper care and love even with daily chores and so many other things.
But I never really thought about it till now how much I could be helping me.
Like,I’m aware..but I feel it really just kind of hit me.
As hurt as I feel from them not doing anything.
I’m also apart of the problem..🤔😒😔
I also agree with the whole beating myself up.Im the king of beating myself up..And one of the main reasons ironically is because I actually do feel like my life is at a standstill..just a lot of( taking 2 steps forward .10 steps back)and my life has been constantly like that.So that really tends to play up on my mind a lot because I want to be something/someone great so bad..but maybe my thought process as to what I’d consider “great” is just all messed up...
Anyway,I did do a few errands with my mom today.just to do something different and tag along.So that’s a start...Babysteps..😏
Also...Thank You so much.from the bottom of my heart..
Have you tried attending a support group?, it will help you to feel less lonely and alone. I have a friend who is going through depression and his support group is a big help to him. He sees them once a week and it helps him to feel better, uplifted and less lonely.
Please stay strong. I hope you can get the help you need. May God’s peace and comfort be upon you. Take care.
Hi,Yea I tried looking into it before and they were all so far from my location and unfortunately I don’t have proper transportation as of now..but will soon..but I’ll try it out again and see how it goes..joining this is the most support type group I have ever been apart of.but it’s quite nice..so I’m taking it all in.thank you..hope your doing well
This might sound like a weird suggestion, but have you thought about taking caffeine when you're depressed. If you also have anxiety, it could trigger that (so you may have to be careful), but it can help you feel more alert when you're feeling down or tired.