Hi everyone
I feel like I’m stuck in a very deep dark hole and there’s no way out. I want to push everyone I love away, I’ve ignored the person I love and I’m even thinking of breaking up with them because of how I’m feeling.
I just want to cry and punch something. Anyone able to talk?
I am in a deep dark hole also. Would like to talk
Hi Amy, sorry I'm just seeing this now. And sorry you're feeling this way. Can you tell us a bit more about what's going on? There are some great folks on here who can offer some thoughts. We've all experienced that hole and have varying techniques on pulling out. Coming here is a good start.
Something small will set me off. Then everything else will pile up until it all gets to much. Which then makes me feel useless and annoying. So I push people away but being rude to them. I feel sad and want to cry but then I’m angry as well
Sounds like you’re in a lot of pain and deeper things are bothering you and you’re not able to deal or get it out in a healthy way like you need to? What do you think is setting it off? I mean what deep down is hurting you really? Can you explain more about it maybe if you’re able or want to?
I don’t know what it is. But my boyfriend was hit by a speeding car at the end of 2017. He’s suffered small memory loss and bleed to the brain but he’s fine now. So I guess it could be that. I was never able to talk to anyone about it or how I felt because we were all worrying about him. A young boy was hit and killed in the same place my boyfriend was yesterday and I was around when it happened. I guess it could of set me off and has dragged me back down
Oh wow definitely that makes sense!! It’s definely traumatizing!! All of that is pretty rough!!😅😱💞
Has your boyfriend had any therapy or treatment for brain injury or like any brain scan imaging??
Yeah. He’s getting the help he needs. He’s got psychologists and neurologist and stuff like that. MRI and CTs as well
But you yourself may have been effected with ptsd! Have you looked into that at all?
Post traumatic stress syndrome if you haven’t you should maybe look it up apparently there are things that can help there’s even a support group page on here for it!
Okay I will have a look. Thank you for your help
You’re welcome I really hope the best for you!!☺️
Personally I’ve been researching and trying to find a lot out about relationships and the brain and how brain injury can effect your relationships and also cause things like depression& anxiety add& adhd also ptsd cause from traumatic events can cause a lot of depression and anxiety as well I know I hav experienced some of this myself!!!
My black hole: Part 1
I was in a deep black hole for a while in my early 30s. I remember being surprised when people spoke to me that they could even see me!
Anyway, I came out of hospital, went back to work and booked myself a course of reflexology. (Since then I’ve noticed that any treat I give myself makes me feel good). I was lucky with this therapist. She liked to chat whilst reflexologing my feet and she liked visualisation. When I told her about the deep black hole she surprised me by asking where it was now and if I could see it....visualise it, and see what was nearby. I described a hole in the ground about 25 feet in diameter and about 25 feet from where I was standing. The grass around it was long and wet and there was a huge oak nearby. She said that the tree would give me strength. She offered to help me fill the hole. I knew this was impossible. So, together we laid huge tree trunks across it to stop me falling in.
Over the years I would sometimes close my eyes to check what the hole looked like. Sometimes there were gaps where a timber had collapsed and I was standing too close for safety.
By the time I was in my forties happily married with two children, I saw the hole had healed. The sides had fallen in and the timbers too. There was only a slight dip in the grass which, by now, was part of a park with neatly mown grass and children playing with kites.
I love visualisation! It helps me add colour when everything looks black.
Thanks for sharing Amy. Agree with HH that you also were a victim that day your bf was hit. Glad he's getting help. Do you go to any appointments with him where you could ask about a referral for yourself? If not, check with your PCP about needing to talk with someone,
This might be a stupid question. But what is a PCP?
I sounded a lot like you. Angry, agitated, depressed, pushed people away, cried at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason. I found out my antidepressant had stopped working and I started early premenopause (I'm 46yrs). I am not sure how old you are. I had my hormone levels tested to find that out. I take a lot of supplements now and counseling is helping. You will get through this but when your in the middle of it is sucks. Hugs!
I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to do anymore
I don’t know what to do
I don’t know what to anymore. 
