Spouse with ongoing pain..... and anger..

[Peaches2019]

Good morning everyone, i dont know where to begin. So ive been married for 8 years. In 2015 my husband began to have stomach pain, and went to the er many times. It was effecting his job and bbn life. The only rhing they couod find wasnold ulcers and a non working gallbladder. He had surgery and ended up on oxycodone. His mood started to change and he became aggitated quickly tempered and even distant. Then he started to.become physical by throwing thungs and punchjng things. He would yell at the kids all the time. Well i delt with this till christmas 2017 into 2018 in jan i said i couldn't take it anymore. I wanted out. He left and when he came back said he wanted to change. He stopped oxycodone and go tree a councelor. He is bbn on disbaility now, still seeing a counselor and i need help to figure my guilty feeling, stressed thoughts, physically pain etc... so they have done every test imaginable, still he says he isnin pain. He is miserable everyday and it has effected his life. I have been supportive in every way managable. Going to appointments, doing all groceries, takimg kids to school, working lots of hours to help provide. I sometimes become so fustrated and just want to sit and cry. Has anyone gone through this or maybe has any resources? I feel horrible but im so stressed, and hurt, and overwhelmed.

[Peaches2019]

Sorry i did this on my phone. I hope you guys understand me 😊

[Sober2007]

Hello Peaches, although my experience isn't quite the same I can relate at some level. My wife has been disabled with severe chronic pain for the past 15 years. It has definitely put additional strain on our relationship. That being said, my anxiety and depression, as well as my tendency to try to fix everything, has been at least as much of a problem as her condition. I've looked for good caregiver resources many times and it always comes back to the same basic advice, which I haven't been very good at following. Here is a pretty good article though: helpguide.org/articles/pare... Hope that helps and wishing you the best.

[Mary-intussuception]

You must be exhausted. So sorry for what you are going through. Do you realise how well you have coped with all of this? It may not seem like it at the moment but you have coped remarkably well.

You really need to catch up on some rest & relaxation for you - but how you will manage to find time now I'm not sure.

I wonder if your husband has been fully diagnosed. Living with constant, severe pain can't be easy for him, but not fair on you either.

I only cope with prayer , and drawing strength from the Lord.

Hope you can get some space, and 'time out' for yourself soon.

God Bless xXx

♡🌹♡🌹♡🌹

[Peaches2019 in reply to Mary-intussuception]

Thank you so much. Its very difficult on us both... the only out i had was the gym, but he gets upset if I'm gone too long. I feel as though i cant fix anything. I feel bad bc he is miserable everyday. Ive always been half full attitude, but its been fullnof depression, sadness, stress worry....