Comparing Myself With Others Isn’t Wo... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

88,172 members82,719 posts

Comparing Myself With Others Isn’t Worth It

MrZee profile image
25 Replies

Years ago, I used to wonder, “What will be my big historical accomplishment in life?” I found comparing myself with other’s “big” accomplishments depressed me even more to the point of feeling Defective.

Many people I’ve come across have traveled extensively; or have made a lot of money; drive a fancy car; and have a ‘bucket list’ of many wonderful things yet to accomplish in life.

Well, over the years I’ve learned that comparing myself with others is a big waste of my time because it only depresses me if I do.

I have no college degrees. I drive an 11 year old small car. I have a small average house. I haven’t travelled afar at all. My body is in mediocre shape. And I don’t have a bucket list.

But... I am wealthy.... meaning that my wealth is inner contentment. I don’t need material wealth or a pot load of degrees or a fancy this and fancy that. Bottom line... I let go of comparing myself with others. I live a simple easy going laidback life. Sure I get depressed and feel anxious at times. But I know that’s temporary and it will pass.

When I live a simple day watching the sun come up, go down and enjoy looking at the stars in the sky, I’m one happy camper. And that’s my own historical accomplishment... contentment... which is priceless.

Written by
MrZee profile image
MrZee
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
25 Replies

Yep, so true! I know people who have everything, but are not happy.

I truly believe it’s not the people who have everything as the happiest, but the people who make the most of everything

Pearl67 profile image
Pearl67 in reply to

And those blessed with a sound mind!

Snowyowl23 profile image
Snowyowl23

Thank you for sharing this MrZee. I needed to read that. :)

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to Snowyowl23

My pleasure. A lot of us can use this kind of medicine including Yours Truly.

I love this 🌻

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to

Thank you 😊

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943

Congratulations MrZee, you have avoided the poison chalice of taking on unacceptable levels of stress for excessive material gain.

You have time to admire the view and contemplate the secrets of the universe at your own leisurely pace.

Spread the word to everybody who comes your way, at every occasion you can, that the excessive stress of acquiring extreme wealth is not worth the sacrifice of your peace of mind.

That is your historical accomplishment.

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to Jeff1943

What wonderful words, Jeff1943. It’s taken me time to get where I’m at. But it’s certainly been worth the journey.

Jeff1943 profile image
Jeff1943 in reply to MrZee

We can all learn from you MrZee, both the people with anxiety disorder and depression and those without. And how much less we impose our carbon footprint on this beautiful planet if we moderate our demands for those things in the material realm.

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to Jeff1943

Yes, thank you for that. I have anxieties, depressions, and fears. But I’m not going to let those take me over. Just simplicity. That’s really all I want.

JLoInCali12 profile image
JLoInCali12 in reply to Jeff1943

Well put!

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to JLoInCali12

Thank you... that is most kind.

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to Jeff1943

P.S. I really like your paragraph,

“You have time to admire the view and contemplate the secrets of the universe at your own leisurely pace.”

...

That, I will hold quite close because that’s me to a tee. Thank you so much for that gift.

in reply to Jeff1943

What a wonderful reply

teemo1 profile image
teemo1

I get down on myself all the time for what I have not accomplished in life, rather than appreciating all that I have accomplished. It's a big part of the cause of my anxiety. I'm working toward letting go of all that self judgement and finding contentment, as you have.

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to teemo1

teemo1,

If you can, cherish what you have accomplished whether it’s monumental or small... something you enjoyed.

For example, just about everyone I know has been to Europe umpteen times. You can’t even imagine how I’d beat myself up for not going. But that’s the past. Today my attitude is, maybe I’ll have the opportunity to go one day. And if not there’s plenty of other things in the world to appreciate... such as going to the museum and appreciating all the art pieces. Now that’s a blissful accomplishment for me.

For many of us, our pasts have taught us to beat ourselves up. But is it worth it? No. The more we can attempt enjoying something simple, the more the anxiety and depression goes down.

All my best —MZ

g33kgirl86 profile image
g33kgirl86

Can I ask how you were able to let it go?

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to g33kgirl86

It takes time, patience, and practice. Every day I try to do something positive. For instance, I work in the school’s art department. I was walking by the sculpture class and there was this woman working on a project. She was sulking because she wasn’t happy with her creation. I thought the piece was beautiful. So I came up to her and told her what a lovely piece she’s creating. She was so happy she hugged me and told me how nice I am. Now, that 30 second incident made my day.

So it’s small things like that that make the heart and esteem feel wonderful.

Right on! From your previous post about the abuse at your job was more telling than any degree you can achieve. You have character. You handled yourself in a professional level headed manner.

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to

Thank you for the compliment. Yes, I stayed professional dislodging myself from a bullying boss. That’s bliss. I’m quite happy with my decision.

Well said. Bucket lists depress me. Comparing myself to others depresses me. Worrying about my house and upkeep makes me anxious.

Contentment is the key. I used to be much more content and have been working on this.

Gelliplate profile image
Gelliplate

Comparing myself to others has been an issue for me too. Not sure I have let go of this habit completely, but it truly is depressing to compare myself to others. Glad that you made peace with yourself and are feeling content with life.

MrZee profile image
MrZee in reply to Gelliplate

Hi Gelliplate,

Thank you for the great compliment. At times I still run into the dilemma of self comparison with others. And I still have those moments of feeling defective. That will always happen with me. But, it’s just for a fleeting moment and then I let it go. It’s just not worth beating myself up over. I do my best to refocus my mind on the good things I have in life and then I feel much better all around.

Best, MZ

Igor4253 profile image
Igor4253

Love this

I love your outlook. I have always felt the same. The beautiful things in life, really can be free. :)

You may also like...

Comparing yourself to others

worst periods of depression, I can see that one of the causes is constantly comparing myself to...

How can I love others when I can’t love myself?

yet I’ve never cared about myself. My athletic accomplishments are big to some but to me I still...

How to take care of others and myself

So I was living in Miami by myself and cuz of visa paperwork I had to move to argentina with my...

Just Breathe. Reminder to myself and others...

Let's just say that some stuff has happened in my life lately, and my reactions has confused me....

Is It Bad If I Only Continue To Live For Others And Not Myself?