Hate 😔

[brokenlight]

Sometimes I have so much hatred inside of me.

For everything and everyone.

Even if I know it’s not the truth, the feeling is all consuming.

No one understands.

Nothing matters.

& I’m so tired.

[Sunnidayz1]

We understand. And btw most people in the whole world have that little voice that says this or that. It really stinks!!!! I cant curse or else I would..lol Sometimes they are lies. They are things we tell ourselves that are just not true! It happens to the best of us. Try to get out of the stress right now(stress can bring them on) and find a quiet place and try a meditation to ease your mind.

You're not alone.

[brokenlight in reply to Sunnidayz1]

Thank you for saying that you (we) understand Sunnidayz1.

I appreciate your words a lot ✨✨

[Starrlight]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Brokenlight))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[brokenlight in reply to Starrlight]

✨✨✨🧡

[Starrlight in reply to brokenlight]

😊 ❤️ I hope you get some relief.

[brokenlight in reply to Starrlight]

Thank you Starrlight!

I really appreciate that & you 😊😊😊

[Starrlight in reply to brokenlight]

🤗

[hypercat54]

Do you know what you are angry about? Do you feel life has given you a raw deal and that everyone else is happy except you? x

[brokenlight in reply to hypercat54]

The anger is a combination & accumulation of everything.

And lol, I for sure don’t.

[fauxartist]

Hate is anger and anger is toxic.....it's like acid in a vessel....eventually it destroys the vessel. I lived with both hate and anger for many years when I was young....but it wasn't until I got help to understand why I had these feelings that they began to subside and stopped consuming me. I pushed everything good in my life away, and punished myself in doing so....it's no way to live....I understand the feelings....but it can get better...I know.

[brokenlight in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for your reply fauxartist.

I appreciate your understanding & encouragement a lot ✨

[Hidden]

I think I know what you mean. Sometimes it's like being the ultimate killjoy or whatever. I get in these moods where I am so determined to be apathetic towards everyone and everything. I won't laugh, I'm short on my responses, and I am so determined to be this way. I, like you mention, tend to have a negative attitude towards everyone and everything. I notice you mention letting things accrue...and well...that's what I do, too.

The problem is we make ourselves pushovers, we might be anxious about taking stance at the risk of seeming confrontational, or we just keep taking so much emotion in. When we don't let it out, we're basically assembling a soon-to-be self detonating person-cano. I typically don't let strangers see this side of me...and I hate it because who gets all the ire? Friends and mostly family. This accumulation could take weeks to months, but it is ugly when it has to empty.

The best thing you can do is store it somewhere else or open an emotional window. Let the pressure out. A therapist, a good friend, a great listening family member. Someone. You know what always killed my self detonation? There's this guy at work...he's hilarious...but he has an intoxicating personality. Yeah, bro love or whatever...anyway, he comes up and says a joke, I huff it off, and then he just flashes a five dollar grin...and I couldn't help it. "Damn it, Brad, I was trying to be pissed off at the world, and that dumb ass grin just made it all go away." "Brad" is a troubled person himself...we often share our mental health issues between us since men don't exactly ooze emotion...especially former military (him, not me).

Anyway, I think sometimes you need to ignore all the negativity. Facebook became a huge source of it for me. I would read politically charged crap and get pissed off. Now, I either pass right along...or try this one...I'll type what I wanted to say and just cancel it all. I get it out of me in a physical form (that won't hurt anyone) via keyboard and I never post my response. I don't always win this battle, but I've found being apathetic towards negative people, ideas, things, and so on...it's just a way to ignore falling and stooping down that bad path. Sometimes I think all of this is just how we are a certain day...they all can't be 100% awesome amazing days. You aren't alone in this, but I would recommend finding an outlet for it. Someone doesn't have to completely understand you to provide an ear or some empathy...which is great because I think you just need to vent and let that steam out. Regardless, hope all is well and you're able to right the ship.

[brokenlight in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply Veritas9983.

We sound very similar ☺️

I appreciate your understanding and support a lot.

Knowing that others can relate sometimes surprises me, sometimes comforts me, and it sometimes makes me really sad that others are feeling the same awfulness.

Thank you for your honesty & for being here ✨

[Ketzel]

The words that go through my head when I'm down are horrendous. You are not alone! I have only been part of this group a short time, but it has helped me to understand that realistically, there are a lot of people that have these thoughts. When we live in a world of social media, we see people living seemingly happy and perfect lives, when in reality, no life is perfect. I hate the saying, "everyone has problems", but it's true. There are days that I stay in bed. It is exhausting to have my mind reeling with negativity. It's exhausting to cry for hours at a time. I have to remind myself to give me a break. I'm harder on myself than anyone else. I try to flip the coin: what would I do for me if I was outside this situation? Take a bath, get a massage, be good to yourself. Let yourself mourn your pain. Ride it out until you get to the other side of the sadness and worry. I am learning how to let go. It's so hard.

[Sunnidayz1 in reply to Ketzel]

Well said ketzel!

[brokenlight in reply to Ketzel]

Thank you for your reply Ketzel.

I appreciate the advice, your honesty, and your support a lot.

Best of luck to you ✨

[pianoplayer90]

People can be really rotten. Sometimes it makes my blood boil. Certain this is one of the reasons I have trouble sleeping at night.

[brokenlight in reply to pianoplayer90]

Sometimes that’s the case pianoplayer90.

But sometimes people can be really lovely.

I feel a mixture of both all the time.

I’m sorry you’re having trouble sleeping at night.

Thank you for your reply & thank you for being here ✨

[pianoplayer90 in reply to brokenlight]

You're absolutely right. I hope the rotten people don't hurt the lovely ones.

Thanks for reminding me of that, and you take care.

[brokenlight in reply to pianoplayer90]

Me too!

Thank you & take care ✨✨

[dogsaregreat]

I just got over being full of hatred. I don't understand why this has happened to me. It really made me feel horrible about myself and this is totally unlike me. I can't give you any advice on how to overcome this, but I wish you nothing but love and light.

[brokenlight in reply to dogsaregreat]

Thank you for your reply & for the support dogsaregreat.

I’m glad you made it out ✨

& I’m glad you’re here.

[LiveandLetLive42]

A lot of people understand hunny. My advice is to find a way to release before you explode. We build and build anger until it completely fills us up. I actually did hypnosis for my anger problem years ago. Try to find something relaxing to get rid of it. When we’re sad, we get a good cry. So when we’re angry, we get a good relaxation technique. And SO many things play into why we are angry. I could probably list a thousand reasons. But whatever the reason(s) definitely know you are not alone, we absolutely understand that feeling and we’re all probably a little disappointed in living this life with mental illness. Sending you some peaceful thoughts 🌺

[brokenlight in reply to LiveandLetLive42]

Thank you for your reply LiveandLetLive42.

It’s relieving to express my pain here & have others understand.

I’m glad hypnosis helped and I appreciate the suggestions & the peaceful thoughts you sent. I need them ✨

Thank you for being here ✨

[AllTimeLow]

I understand. I can't stand it anymore. I hate it.