Feeling Very Alone

Hi, I just joined Anxiety and Depression Support and had a sad experience of having to put my wife of 38 yrs. in the hospital for a urinary tract infection and is very sick because the infection has spread through all her blood system. She is stable now but the recovery process is a slow one. My anxiety is unable to come to an empty house without seeing her and haven't been able to sleep going on 3 nights. How do I deal with this and find a way to sleep and rest?

[JAYnLA]

So sorry to hear of your circumstances Straycat. Have you tried melatonin?

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

No I haven't just the stress teas but are not working for me. I will take you up on your suggestion and see if that works. Thank you so much.

[JAYnLA in reply to Hidden]

Sure thing. The teas don't do much for me either. 3mg to 5mg of melatonin does have an effect though.

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

That could be what I need because I have tried the sleep aids before but I'm afraid to use them because for some reason I

have nightmares.

[JAYnLA in reply to Hidden]

I don't remember dreaming on melatonin. It's worth a shot. Given what you're dealing with you definitely need your sleep. Everything is exponentially more emotional when we get sleep deprived.

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

Thanks again

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

Have you ever experienced anything similar?

[JAYnLA in reply to Hidden]

There are several layers to your post so I'm not sure which aspect you're referring to. I've never had a partner in the hospital and come home to an empty house. I do currently have a dear friend with cancer who's not doing well and it's upsetting - but I'll tell you, being present for her actually seems to HELP my anxiety, not cause it to flare. If I haven't answered your question just let me know.

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

Let me put it like this, it's like our dog Gizmo when we leave the house and he gets separation anxiety when he's left alone. Now I know how the poor dog feels. It's silly I guess but I start to pace up and down and can't find myself and it starts eating me up. Right now I'm just happy I have an outlet to express myself and have someone to listen to me and feel a little calmer now.

[JAYnLA in reply to Hidden]

There are lots of us here to hear you and share experience and hope. I live alone and have done so much maddening pacing while riddled with anxiety it's ridiculous. Eventually I've found that the pacing actual winds me up more. I either need to go out for a walk or sit down to do something or even just sit to try to relax. It's such a horrible feeling... but I rarely do it anymore. We do get better.

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

Thanks for sharing that, it makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Well I better try and see if I can get some z's now because work awaits me tomorrow at 6am and a couple of hrs sleep is better than nothing. I really appreciate you sharing and making me feel better. I'll be looking for your later posts. Thanks.

[JAYnLA in reply to Hidden]

Goodnight, and I wish a solid recovery for your mate.

[Hidden in reply to JAYnLA]

Thanks a million I appreciate that!

[Kat63]

Being alone can be terrifying. Add the uncertainty about your wife’s health, and I’m not surprised you’re having some feelings.

Does it help you to remind yourself that this is only temporary?