why is it so hard to get rid of anxiety - Anxiety and Depre...

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why is it so hard to get rid of anxiety

a_work_in_progress profile image

Does anyone think it runs in the family.

My mother had a lot of problems one being an alcoholic. I wonder if she

was an alcoholic because she couldn't cope with the anxiety ect.. She died before

I realized that I had a lot of questions about the mental aspect of things

My dad also passed so cant ask him and Im not close to any family members

so I guess I will never know

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30 Replies

I think it can be.

It runs on both sides of my family (suicide, mental disorders and hospitals).

But you aren’t alone.

I think I’d have it even if it didn’t run in my genes.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to CallMeByYourSquid

Why do you think you would have it if it didn't run in your genes?

CallMeByYourSquid profile image
CallMeByYourSquid in reply to a_work_in_progress

Traumatic childhood events.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to CallMeByYourSquid

Got it. Makes sense.

CallMeByYourSquid profile image
CallMeByYourSquid in reply to a_work_in_progress

TBH, I think it comes natural in pre-mature babies.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to CallMeByYourSquid

Ya well I wasn't a premature but I have

certainly seen my fair share of childhood and adult Traumatic events

I broke my neck 10 years ago and am walking but will never be what I was.

in reply to a_work_in_progress

i wouldnt want to be where i was 10 years ago..i hope your here where you are now..i personally want to be where ive come to; thats being in the moment, the right here..right now..

CallMeByYourSquid profile image
CallMeByYourSquid in reply to

Thanks for the reminder.

I’m trying to keep it together.

Do you practice mindfulness?

Genn profile image
Genn in reply to CallMeByYourSquid

Love your handle!! I almost posted a shot of a bioluminescent bobtail squid for myself, but it lost something when in the little circle... ! I practice mindfulness. You? How was your day today? Mine was a better day, having connected with this group last night. I do wish there were online meetings here, though. Have you ever encountered such for 'mental health' issues?

JAYnLA profile image
JAYnLA

My mom had it and my father is an alcoholic so he's masking something. My mother's father had it and my father's mother had it. Yes, I do believe it runs in families but like CallMe said, I think my nervous system would have been overly taxed with because of my childhood environment anyway.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to JAYnLA

My fathers side and my mothers side all had issues with alcohol. We were not close though because my parents moved us cross country when I was a baby. I never really had any closeness with any of my family. When we finally did move back I was a 12

and we had to move back because my mother had become so bad with the drinking that

she couldn't function. My life never got much better because my brothers and sisters

got split up to different family"s.

JAYnLA profile image
JAYnLA in reply to a_work_in_progress

That is plenty to have to overcome... but you can do it. Imagine the compassion and care you will be able to give to others who've been through a similar situation.

CallMeByYourSquid profile image
CallMeByYourSquid in reply to a_work_in_progress

You have the opportunity to fix it despite all the bullshit you didn’t ask for.

CallMeByYourSquid profile image
CallMeByYourSquid in reply to JAYnLA

Yup. My family didn’t have alcohol

addiction but gambling.

pink83737 profile image
pink83737

It could be!

Dayna08 profile image
Dayna08

I am somewhat in the same boat. When younger u could get answers from my father and grand mother. I had close friends then too. Now I am more alone then I have ever been. Even being married doesn't help. Husband is self absorbed right now.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to Dayna08

Yes Alone is awful. Thats my biggest problem right now. I showed up at my

mother in laws house and broke down crying this week. I was crying so hard I couldn't talk. I had to let someone in the family know what was going on with me. I feel better

now though because I started the conversation and now we are working on a solution.

I moved a good 2 hour drive away from my family and friends 4 years ago. Although me and my friends tried to keep in touch over these years we have gotten distant. I don't blame them. Its hard to make time for the friends that live next door never mind the ones that live hundred of miles away.

CallMeByYourSquid profile image
CallMeByYourSquid in reply to Dayna08

What’s he self absorbed about? My husband works more than he doesn’t. Which isn’t exactly fair to complain about but he doesn’t have too much left for me after 14 hour work days.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to CallMeByYourSquid

He's not self absorbed. He is a wonderful loving husband. The problem is that we built a retirement that home that I am living in /we sold our house in the city and because he has a business 100 miles away

he stays in that city with relatives and comes here to the retirement home weekends and drives home only once during the week at best. I thought I would be ok because I have many things to keep me busy and love the house. Over the years I have been here, slowly I have lost closeness with my friends from the city and miss a lot of family time. (Kids and grandkids) My husband works very hard and I always tried to bury my feelings until this week I finally I broke. Cats outa the bag now though. Can't do this anymore need to be closer to my family. I suppose this happens to a lot of people like - say empty nest syndrome

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Hi there is still much debate about the nature versus nurture topic but I do know alcoholics use drink as a crutch to help them cope and because they can't deal with their emotions. You can determine never to go down that path and learn from your mother. It's always best to seek medical help rather than use alcohol or illegal drugs so you can change the pattern for yourself. x

ab·so·lute·ly - Good advice.

easier said than done

I guess all I can say to that is

better to try and not succeed than to never have tried at all

and

I get knocked down but I get up again.

:-)

You bet it can run in the family. Every doc has asked me that question. My mother worried about everything - very overprotective. My sister suffered severe panic attacks - she spent lots of time in ERs. I developed panic after childbirth. I “outgrew” those and just moved onto anxiety attacks! Brief but intense waves of nervousness and nausea, feeling of doom.

I’m medicated and intend to stay that way for quality of life. Also employ mindfulness, meditation, etc. Seems like a full time job!😝

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to

Well with all that your a breath of fresh air.

Thanks for your insight.

in reply to a_work_in_progress

Try hard to maintain a sense of humor — it really helps me. When I’m having a hard time getting anxiety under control, I watch a few utube Seinfeld blooper segments. Works every time. AND I just look around me at friends dealing with everything from cancer to divorce, and goodness knows what in between. I know any one of them would trade places with me if they could. So see?? You and I are as lucky as we are miserable!😝

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to

lol

thanks for the laugh it feels good

Txnut60 profile image
Txnut60 in reply to

Do you find that mindfullness helps even though you are on meds?

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to Txnut60

Yes:-)

kateba profile image
kateba

Depression is a hereditary condition. My parents were totally useless as far as being connected with any of the kids emotionally. Because of that I am at my core a very insecure person. That to me is the cause of my anxiety. I have a lot of anxiety about my health and that's because I always manage to think of the worst possible things something can be. I'm a first class hypochondriac. I'm a very logical person and I can think things through and know something is not dangerous but then my brain starts coming up with all these bad thoughts and I can't get rid of them. I was told that the inner security that a person gets happens in the first 6 months of their life. It's being held and nurtured that instills that sense of well being. I did not have that.

a_work_in_progress profile image
a_work_in_progress in reply to kateba

Same here with the always thinking the worst. I really work hard on trying not to

be so negative (out loud and thinking) all the time. I might be thinking it but I know that if I say it

whoever is hearing it thinks i'm a pessimist. A childhood friend recently told me in a

random conversation that they remembered I was always the one when we were young that would say we cant do that because this (something bad- whatever the circumstances were)would happen. I guess I was always like that. I just recently heard the word

Rumination and this is exactly what I do. I guess I have a new diagnosis to add

to my laundry list of issues

Genn profile image
Genn

The numbers on "mental illness" (don't know about anxiety, alone) are so high that it almost has to happen in every family. I think one of the reasons anxiety is so hard to treat is its roots in isolation.

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