Emptiness

[tppppppp]

Tired of waking up feeling empty. Like I just can't feel. I look forward to my visit with my therapist soon. It's really about the only thing I look forward to these days. 7 months of this shit. I think my CBT will work. I believe it. But struggling with this parts of every day makes life hard. I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Emptiness is miserable.

[fauxartist]

I am sorry your going through this....but you said 7 months ago this started, was there a particular event.....sometimes depression can be due to a trauma or event, and some of us can after time and therapy get better. Others of us are simply hardwired and have a chemical deficiency....we will always have this disease, and just have to learn to manage it the best we can.

[tppppppp in reply to fauxartist]

There was a event. That's what I'm working on with my therapist.

[tppppppp in reply to fauxartist]

Is yours a chemical deficiency?

[fauxartist in reply to tppppppp]

yes.....depression actually runs in my family ..... and also there were contributing factors that made it worse and still do at times. But when I first started therapy it was what my therapist explained to me, and I also have read about this....that some kinds of depression are temporary.....and for those that don't have the per-disposition for the chemical imbalance long term depression, which there is no cure, there are some cycles of depression in peoples lives that can over time and help get better.

[tppppppp in reply to fauxartist]

Have you tried cbt Therapy? That's what I'm on now.

[fauxartist in reply to tppppppp]

Yes I have.... I take SSRI's which curve the severity somewhat , but depression for most of us is cyclical.... it has a cycle of ups and downs...... and you just ride it out on the bad days the best you can, using what ever tools work best for you.

[Jeff1943]

You say that about the only thing you look forward to is your therapy. It's good that you are having therapy, I hope your therapist is a very good one.

But why not look forward to your recovery? Surely that is the goal you should look forward to most.

Medications bring respite and that can be important but when you stop taking them the anxiety often returns.

Therapy can help to resolve the problems that caused your anxiety disorder and show you how your perception of your life and problems should be changed. But psychiatry is an infant science, hardly existed 75 years ago, and many people believe psychiatrists spend too much attention trying to link present troubles with incidents that happened many years before, preferably in childhood, when in fact this rarely has any relevance. We all experience traumas but the healthy human mind gets over them and we move on.

The third route to recovery is through studying self-help methods contained in books and YouTube videos written by people who know what they're talking about.

This forum is a treasure house of good advice in all these three areas and there is much to be gained by trawling through posts and answers that have appeared here. Many of the more recent self help methods are developments of the acceptance method of an Australian psychiatrist, Doctor Claire Weekes, who died in 1990. Search and you will find.

Weekes wrote that everyone can be cured of anxiety and the depression that often accompanies it (which she preferred to call 'depletion') no matter how long or how deep they have suffered.

[tppppppp in reply to Jeff1943]

Jeff, I like that question. I do look forward to when I'm recovered. When I can look my wife in the eye and not see anger and resentment for what I've done. Or when I can go to bed at night without the fear that I won't sleep. Or when I wake up and smoke because I've realized my worth. Are you recovered? Are you in recovery? Thanks for the clarifying moment. God bless you sir.

[Jeff1943 in reply to tppppppp]

tpppppp, accept all these things for the time being, stressing and obsessing about them means more tension and nervous sensitivity. You need less.

You are like a rock on the shore. The sea waves crash over and around it and then recede but the rock endures. You are that rock.

My anxiety is genetic, runs in the family, so I will never be completely free of it. I reckon about 25% of anxiety sufferers have this tendency. I had my first episode in 1974 but I was lucky, my mother had a copy of 'Self help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes on her book shelf. I embraced her Acceptance method for recovery, it's not easy but it's not as hard as putting up with anxiety.

As a result I am completely free from anxiety 95% of the time but I do still have the tendency to exaggerate problems tenfold. I know how to manage and control anxiety when it starts to make itself known, I have the understanding and reassurance of knowing the limitations of anxiety.

That book I mentioned was written in 1962🤣 but all her books have been reader reviewed in the last few years on amazon.co.uk and amazon.com by 1,600 reviewers and 90% found her books either Very Good or Excellent.

Incidentally that is the U.K. title of her book, the U.S. title is 'Hope and help for your nerves".

[tppppppp in reply to Jeff1943]

I've been very selfish. I keep ruminating over the idea that moving back to where we lived where I was happy will fix me. Which I believe it may fix me but it will destroy my wife and I can't lose her. I am beginning to understand that I have to face this now and resolve to be better for my family and not run them thru the ringer. I've been allowing my symptoms to control me for almost a year now. I look forward to signing a end of contract with my therapist and going back to living a better life again. I'd like to remain in contact with you if that's ok. You seem like a very good source of knowledge. Thanks for your kind words.

[Jeff1943 in reply to tppppppp]

Yes, you can Personal Message me anytime using the two balloons icon at the page top.

You are not going to feel like this for ever but do consider the book mentioned: it will bring understanding, reassurance and a recovery plan and does not conflict with any other therapy you may be receiving.

Reading it you feel she knows you personally. As a sampler she appears on YouTube in a one hour+ video titled 'Peace from nervous suffering'.

[tppppppp in reply to Jeff1943]

I can see where she's coming from in the you tube video. You come into a loop of fear of your symptoms.

[amandagray]

feeling empty is a common symptom of bpd which is often treated with dbt rather than cbt im not saying u have bpd cause there are a lot of other symptoms im just saying its something to look into. im in dbt and its actually really helpful hope u start feeling better soon!

[tppppppp in reply to amandagray]

I enjoy my cbt. I do think I'm not bipolar as my symptoms arrived because of a specific event. But thank you for caring.

[quitter333]

do you enjoy watvhing some videos about people whi do grand things? i do.. over years i hsve learned fron them how to create a vision and follow it

imo that easily takes away "feeling enpty".

just look up something like "advice" and any - Branson, Schwarzenegger, Musk, Kyosaki, entrepreneur.