Constant anxiety and grief after my friend's death

[SammyWill117]

A friend of mine died last week in a house fire which involved a lot of houses which also burnt down my relatives house.

Since then, I been constantly feeling anxious, sinking feeling in my chest.

I regret I may have said some bad things about him in the past. But despite that I never hated him, despite our minor language barrier, we were friends since childhood.

I regret that during my 20s I became withdrawn and socially anxious and never spent much time with him when I went there on holiday.

But I did manage to chat with him on FB before and always planned to come back.

Someone posted a distressing image of him on FB. It still in my mind, I try not to think about him being all alone there trapped in that house. But it's hard not to.

I posted a cover photo on my FB with me him and our friends....not sure if that was a good thing to do..

I really feel gutted. For him, his family who are quite poor, my relatives and the neighbours who lost their homes, but especially him, even though we are not related and not the bestest of friends and haven't communicated much recently.

I know, it's too late now. But letting go feels so hard. And keeping these emotions inside is hard.

I find it hard to get straight to sleep even with meditation, just that sinking feeling in the chest, I eat, but I don't enjoy my appetite.

[hypercat54]

Hi am so sorry at the loss of your friend and your relatives house being burned down. This is awful so no wonder you are grieving and will be for some time. This is normal and eventually you will be able to move on from this but do give yourself time and permission to grieve.

I am sure your friend knew how you felt about him and none of us can forsee the future can we? Just concentrate on letting your loved ones know you love them and appreciate them all while you still have them. This is the lesson to learn from the terrible tragedy. x

[Hidden]

Sammy

Welcome, to this site

Sorry for what seems to have been a tragic lose. The problem throughout our lives we sometimes say things we regret and never take the chance to put things right until it is to late to do so. You are in that situation and sad to say you need to move on. However given time you will move on, we learn from experience.

What can be done if this way inclined, go to a church you know and pray to your lost friend and make your peace that may help you move on in a more positive way

You may also be in a state of shock, and sadness because of what has happened. The best way of moving on is talk out your concerns with someone you trust. If this is not possible, make an appointment with your GP and explain what has happened. Make a list on a piece of paper, that will help you not miss anything out. Your Doctor may arrange CBT so you can come to terms with your various loses, and things not said.

You are not alone with your feelings of regret and sadness, most people throughout their lives have the same concerns and have to live with their errors. However we all need to move on with those forms of negativity.

You will eventually feel much more at peace, we at times have to live with our feelings and move on. Try and look for the positive not the negative, life is a hard teacher.

BOB

[kenster1]

hi I am sorry for the tragic loss of your friend.i am on another page called bereavement care and share.its a smallish community sadly we all have one thing in common.its really supportive and understanding and could be added support to you along with other pages and help you access.take care.

[pink318]

Hi Sammy- I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. Give yourself time to grieve. Cry, to release the pain and sadness you are going through. You can also try to consult with a doctor and talk about how you feel and about your health.

While reading your post, I remember my dad. When he passed away, my sister had so many regrets. She was crying every time she would talk to me about her relationship with our dad and how she blamed herself for not being honest with her feelings towards him. It took time for her to let go of her feelings but through prayers, she was able to overcome.

I pray for comfort as you grieve and things will get better.Take care of yourself. Please keep us posted. God bless.

[SammyWill117 in reply to pink318]

Thank you for your advice. I feel a little better today, sometimes I get sad, it's his funeral tomorrow. Although I won't be able to go there my relative will.