Explaining my depression

[UnderTheMoon]

How do I explain it to someone who doesn’t understand? I’ve tried to reiterate so many times that I can’t just snap out of it. Some days are good days and some days are not. Sometimes I want to stay in my bedroom alone and other days I want to go outside. Depression has a way however of making me want to go back inside, something is going to happen and I get all tense. I’m very fidgety and mess with anything I get my hands on to feel more comfortable. But they always tell me to just calm down you’re okay. Yesterday was a bad day. But I think today is different. But how do I explain that sometimes I’m okay. And other days I’m not?

[Choosejoy2018]

I think this is one of the toughest things about having a mental illness. My experience has been that people don't know the difference between situational depression and major depressive disorder. What I did with my two adult daughters was send them the link to a you tube video called I had a black dog named depression. They said it was very helpful to them in understanding the illness. Honestly, I don't even try to explain to my siblings and close friends anymore. They are so emotionally invested and take it personally in a way they wouldn't any other disease. I have worked hard to be ok with knowing I may be the only one in my world who understands that I have an illness for which I do not have to apologize. So, that is to say it was more useful for me to work at changing my attitude toward them than to try to change their attitude toward me. Hope this helps

[UnderTheMoon in reply to Choosejoy2018]

Thank you, I will send them to that video so I don’t have to explain anymore

[Choosejoy2018 in reply to UnderTheMoon]

🌼💐🌼

[hypercat54 in reply to UnderTheMoon]

Who is it who doesn't understand? If this is the people in your life whom you love then this is common. Remember that just because they don't understand doesn't mean they don't love you though. It just means they don't get it.

You know how you feel though and you haven't got to try and explain it to others if they refuse to listen. Does it really matter that much that others understand? Do yourself a favour and stop beating your head against a brick wall is my advice. We understand and maybe you have friends who do as well.

Are you getting any medical help for it? x

[UnderTheMoon in reply to hypercat54]

I have a meeting with my doctor on Thursday. I haven’t had any medication before but I’m nervous to get on them

[itakenaps]

Unfortunately some people will never really get it. All you can do is educate them the best you can. Trying to change someones mind that is set is only going to cause you unneeded stress.

[takelifebacknow]

Some won’t ever get it. They don’t want to. My ex told me everything was in my head and the DSM was made up.

[puglove0093]

This is such a tough part of having anxiety/depression/etc. Sometimes it's just too hard for others who haven't gone through it to understand why you react the way you do, why you think the way you do, etc. It happens to me! I like the suggestion to maybe send a YouTube video that can explain better. Personally, I have just been learning that some people will never understand, and I can't make myself feel worse/crazy/sick trying to make them understand me. Yes, we wish people would be empathetic and listen, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. I am praying for you, that you would have inner peace in this matter.

[thealonemom]

I have been with my husband for 18 years. Honestly, i do not believe that others are capable of understanding. They have never in their lives experienced the pain, suffering, and the black hole (i call it) that i find myself in trying to climb out. So they have no point of reference to refer to. There are times that my husband is great and tries hard to help. Then after the depression has me not functioning, he begins to become agitated. What you may not realize is that all of their frustration may simply be that you are suffering and they sit and watch you feeling helpless and unable to fix it.

[thealonemom]

As a follow up. This helpless feeling you will find mostly in males that love us. They believe their job is solve problems. When we try to talk to a spouse the instinct to fix kicks in. When they realize that they are not able to find the solution and fix it for you, it tends to come out as frustration or anger. My husband, like many other males, believe showing any other emotion makes them appear weak. Society teaches this to males as young boys. As hard as it is, cause I know, try to remember they feel totally helpless.