New Year's Eve.

[darkshadow]

It's 10.45 pm and I'm sitting here crying my heart out as usual. I'm not having a little sob. I'm giving it everything I have. I'm drained and exhausted from crying every day. I know no-one can help me but I need to write it here at this moment before I go to bed. Utter hopelessness is overwhelming me.I think of all the people who are out enjoying parties and looking forward with excitement to the new year.I used to be like that. I'm a far cry from that tonight. I see no joy in the present or in the future. I am alone with my thoughts and in my thinking. The world is empty to me. The wind is strong tonight and I hear it roaring round the house as I write. My medication is not helping me. In fact I'm sure it is making me feel much worse. I do not see my psychiatrist for another 6 weeks. My physical body is not able for much more of this. Every day is the same. Nothing gives me any relief. I wonder how much more I can take before something gives. Goodnight, everyone. May you all have a restful sleep.

[Loveiskind12]

I'm sorry you feel this way ... I hope you feel better soon 🌻🙏

[Beautyrae]

I hope and pray your New Year is a great one for you and you start feeling better about yourself. Please know these feelings are temporary! Much love from California 💙💙💙

[ma65]

Hi darkshadow, iam sitting at home on my own thinking the same as you. All those people out there having fun.

[calicat]

I have also been crying tonight. I don’t see a problem with crying, however it is exhausting and I relate to all your feelings of hopelessness. But things get better. That’s what I hear and tell myself. Life is a roller coaster, not a walk in the park. Sorry if that sounds lame. I hope you get some rest tonight and feel better soon.

[pink83737]

Hey you definitely aren’t alone in this, we’re all going through similar things, tomorrow’s a new day and a new year! I would call your psychiatrist sometime this week to see if he or she can get you in sooner! I’m always here if you need to talk. Don’t let your thoughts and mental health get the best of you! Set some goals for yourself this year ❤️ I’m not going out tonight and I’m sure there is so many others that aren’t either so don’t feel alone

[Sillysausage234]

🌷

[persona_non_grata]

💖 <3

[RAYOFHOPE88]

I wish that I could give you a hug. Here's a cyber embrace 🤗. I have been at extremely low points in my life. There have been moments in my life that I didn't know if I was coming or going, my eyes hurt from crying non-stop, and my body ached so bad that I could barely move. Im not going to tell you to get over it. I'm not going to tell you that things will be easy. I will tell you that PEACE lies in YOUR future. Please rest and wake up to a new year of possibilities.

[Hidden]

💗sending good vibes and thoughts to you today. I hope that it gets better soon and the new year is full of happiness for you. Hugs

[Humankind-BE_BOTH]

👆❤️

[cassa5]

sending hugs and love your way - I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. 💗 feelings are temporary and I hope some better days come for you soon!!

[Gurdeep212]

I feel sorry for you.. it happens to millions of people. I have also gone through the same stage in my Teena and school years, but what I get? Nothing... overthinking and not talking to anyone make us mentally week..

First

ed to understand the issues and make the mind to change yourself... Pray to God daily... Read inspirational quotes and books on CBT...

Hope you will get well soon

[ImLost3]

You are not the only one feeling alone. I’m crying my eyes out as well jus know ur not alone. I hope it helps to kno others are jus in the same predicament as u. Don’t give up believe me I want to as well but I’m not.

[Scigy1]

Please trust me, darkshadow, but I have been in the same place many a NYE and thought it would never get better. But, I’m here to tell you that it absolutely can if you continue to follow your psychiatrist’s recommendations and work hard at beating your depression with a combination of talk therapy, CBT etc. Are you receiving counseling by a psychologist?

[darkshadow in reply to Scigy1]

As I said in my last post, I am under the care of my doctor, a mental nurse and a psychiatrist. The nurse visits every few weeks and I like her company but she tried CBT and concluded that it was not helping me. She then got me an appointment with a psychiatrist. He is not local to my area so visits only every 6---8 weeks. I have seen him twice. He prescribed a new antidepressant at the lowest dose. When I next saw him, I reported feeling no better--I felt worse if anything. I know this can happen to begin with but now, after about 7 weeks, I see no improvement in myself. I will see the nurse this Friday but she cannot help me in spite of being kind and caring. I have no date yet to see the psychiatrist again. He will have 2 choices: up the dose again or wean me off these tablets and start another kind. This will take a long time with no guarantee of success. I feel like a guinee pig. Meanwhile, I suffer every day. Sometimes I do not even get dressed, wash or brush my teeth. I do not go out or see anyone on those days. I'm living in a perpetual nightmare. I pace about the house trying to find something to distract my sick mind but end up slumped in my chair crying again. I am an old woman of 79 years. My body will fail as a result of all this and I cannot see any respite. There is no solution.

[magwrite]

When you have depression or are lonely, New Year’s Eve is THE WORST. Please believe me: you are not alone. I, too, used to go out and have fun in the past. Now, it’s just a horrible night to get through. And just because people are out and looking like they’re having a great time doesn’t mean they’re happy on the inside. Hang in there! It’s a new year and a new chance to work on yourself and your depression. I’ll be doing that. And so will a ton of other people.

[darkshadow in reply to magwrite]

I am this morning at the stage of hardly being able to get out of bed to feed my dog and cat. I feel sick and think I need a doctor but it is such a process that I don't have the energy to do it. The thought of being put into hospital and leaving my pets keeps me from taking action.