I am in a very low point in my life. I was feeling good til I met my boyfriend and he promised me he was getting a divorce and they he realizes how important it is to have balance in our lives. Well they
Was so for a bit til a couple months later it’s full out all bore AA discussions and recovery and hanging out with his AA FRIENDS. There doesn’t seem to be anything more to our relationship than his aa and recovery as he says if he doesn’t do it 24/7 he will relaps He has been clean for 5 yrs He was supposed to get a divorce which he started the separation agreement just to get me off his back but now it’s come to a complete hault saying it’s complicated and his wife owes him money he owes her money Always an excuse to not follow thru Dates have come and
Gone as to when he will do it and the more I bring it up the more angry I get and he gets angry and says he will start drinking again so in order to make this stop I have fallen into a deep depression and my anxiety thru the rough and I’m self medicating with anxiety medication I need help and feel trapped like I have no where to turn
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Mixedup-Girl
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Why Would You Sink All Your Eggs Into One Basket Anyway ?* "Separated" IS NOT Divorced ? NEVER Has Been. Hun ?* I Feel For Ya. I REALLY Do. When You Drop That Basket ? You Feel ALL Is Lost. Especially A Basket That Has A Great Big Sign On It Saying, "HUSBAND WITH A WIFE" Wrote On It. Hun ?* You Gotta Take Care Of "YOU". You Need To Find Out Why YOU Would Set Yourself Up For Such Drama ? YOU MATTER !* You Are SPECIAL. Tell This Guy, " When Your Divorce Is Final " ?* Look Me Up If I Hadn't Moved On Yet... But For Now ? BYE !*... You Hold Your Head Up & Get YOU Together....YOU MATTER TOO...
Sounds like he's manipulating you by saying he's going to get a divorce and you are enabling him by accepting it and backing down. This is not a healthy relationship if you are having to medicate yourself to live with him. instead of focusing on him and his needs, it's time to put yourself first. What do you want? What makes you happy? Will things change for the better? Maybe the 2 of you have gotten into a situation of living with the devil you know versus either of you venturing out into the unknown. It's scary I know, but you can't continue like this. You deserve to be happy and valued.
You must get out of that toxic relationship and the sooner the better! You are wasting your life. He will never get a divorce! He is indeed manipulating you when he says if you leave he will begin to drink. It is his choice, not yours.
You are being devalued by him and by yourself. You deserve better. You will see that when you leave. Even though it is scary, the alternative is worse.
I know I should leave the problem is I did 3 times and each time he came back and was super charming and attendtive. I knew I shouldn’t of taken him back. Each time I took him back which was a mistake on my part. This last time I asked if he was divorced and he said no so I said then take a hike. A couple days later he texts me a pic of a separation. Agreeement he started with her and stupidly I believed him and when back. He knows wher I live and he can be quite pushy So once he got back in the good books with me you guessed it separation. Agreement ground to a hault and that’s how it’s been for the past 6 months. We argue over this weekly amd he says it’s gonna happen it’s just too complicated right now. His 25 yr old daughter will be done university in a few months and they paid for 3 degrees In occupational therapy for her. He says that he will
Work on the agreement in a couple weeks and that he does want to marry me. But it’s complicated and my stressin him out isn’t helping. HE THinks I’m crazy with anger and anything I say he twists it and says it me no him. He has his own apartment and hasn’t lived with his wife for 5 yrs but he still goes there to get his mail. I keep getting anxious amd depression attacks and all I can do is self Medicate to keep the peace. Hate my life right now I feel alone and I feel rapped
Consider putting on your walking boots, take your key and walk away. Rule of thumb: never date anyone who hasn't been divorced 2 years. It takes that long to let all the major dust settle......but not on you.
If he is grasping on to AA for dear life, time perhaps for you to back away or he may use you up.
Think maybe you have the WRONG MAN. You might want to attend ALANON meetings as you break away from him. YOU are too important to be abusing your medication to just tolerate his neediness.
If he is doing this to his wife and to you, what makes you think he won't continue to do these things to you if he were divorced.
Addiction to drugs, alcohol is a drug, is NO excuse for him to not know how to treat his wife and you. You deserve more than being the "other woman". I wish you the best in the coming new year, and that you take steps to remove yourself from this mess.xoxo
You have had a number of replies on this post and the one you titled "Depressed" (I think). Read them again, ok?
ALONON has been suggested, the doctor who RX your meds is another source of help. YOU are the one with the power to stop this whole mess. Just do it. I did it; I would think other people in this venue have had to do this; it can be done. Go to your friends, your family, the police if you think he will harm you. You are going to have to just use your strong backbone and tough this out. You can do this. No one can do it for you. Go, Woman, Go! xoxo
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