I'm new here: Alright, so, I'm... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I'm new here

Alright, so, I'm functioning very well, like I overwork and drink sometimes even smoke cigarettes (trying to quit), I do all of this to escape, this overwhelming sense of loneliness and hopelessness. Idk what i'm doing with my life, I've lost almost all of my friends to something or the other. The one person, literally the one person, with which i had the real-est sort of connection, well, I fell in love with the person, and I had never in my life felt to loved, and I finally felt like i belonged, even in my worst and i mean THE worst, I felt loved and supported (highly unlikely), well, so plot twist, this person, well, i developed feelings for him, he didnt feel the same way, and now i'm alone again. I'm overworking, drinking too much and I honestly picture myself like, at the top of my career 10 something years down the line, like, really good, but also, totally alone, given how i just take up workload whenever something bad happens, and then I imagine killing myself, like, 10-15 years down the line, I actually want to die. This is not normal. I dont feel normal. Once the work ends, Im so anxious and sad, I drink or sleep too much.

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Welcome!

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Glad you're here talking to us. You are not alone, you have yourself....if that makes any sense. Be your best friend and take good care of you. Your reaching out shows you can do good for yourself. I hope you are joined by some other humans soon. It is soooo hard, I know. I've lost countless friends too......seems I'm always the one reaching out to people until I finally drop them (or more likely they already dropped me). I feel alone around people I know too. Sorry, didn't mean to make this about myself. So sorry you are hurting. Keep us posted.

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Welcome! So sorry to hear about your relationship not working out :( I’ve never really had anyone myself, and wonder if I will always be alone too, but you never know. We still might meet someone someday (I hope).

Everything you described feeling is actually quite normal, at least here in this community. Using work as a distraction, being super anxious and down, sleeping or drinking too much, and even wanting to die within the next few years is actually something that many of us can relate to. It’s sad, but that’s what depression can do to a person. You are absolutely not alone, and now you have a community of people who can relate. I’m glad you found us.

As for me, I too find work to be a good distraction, and tend to get extra depressed when I have days off. It’s kind of terrible because it means we are actually “happiest” when we’re working hard and can’t enjoy our time off like we should :/ I also can unfortunately relate to the whole wanting to die thing, but “10-15 years down the line” seems way too long to me right now... I’m trying to hold on for my family though. Depression isn’t easy, that’s for sure.

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its incredible to see people supporting each other. Thanks for the kind comments!!

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