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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Anxiety about ending my marriage

I just joined so not sure how this works. I suffer from anxiety, its been going on for years. I stopped taking medication years ago bc it didnt help it actually made it worse. I am currently going through a separation but we still remain in the same home. I have 3 children and plan to move out after the holidays. However it is really hard to watch your ex come and go all hours of the day. Its hard to know I never mattered and he is glad that Im leaving. It feels like a living hell. I know its time to go but my anxiety makes it so hard for me to focus. Sometimes its hard to talk to family who are one sided and Im trying not to let the kids see me upset. Any advice to help me through it?

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I wish,I knew the words to say to help u feel better. Do u want to end your marriage

Have you and your husband tried marriage

Counseling? How old are the kids? And if

You both really want to end your marriage

Why be in the same house together? Why not just walk away now.

You going to hurt more being there with him. And he said he’s leaving all hours of the day.

Have he been cheating on u? The whole thing is sad. Am praying for u and the kids, and that God give u the strength u need to be

Strong. And here for u and sending u a hug 🤗 and love ❤️

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We have tried marriage counseling, we only argued. So i decided I would do individual counseling. I also tried medication hoping in some way I could change that we would work. I stay at home with the kids (ages 3,7 and 11) and do paper work for a small trucking company when run together. He is the go getter. Bc Im not on the job site and he handles the finances he feels entitled to everything. I have one credit card in my name. Cash whenever he will give me it. He makes all major financial decisions and mostly without me knowing until later. My car is in the company name as well as my phone, which he often says I cant keep when I leave. I feel stuck. Im trying to make it to xmas so Im not jerking the kids out of their home to deal with this pain on the holidays. My dad lives two hours away and has told me too move closer to him. I plan to do so. But anxiety is getting the best of me. I have been with my husband since I was 18. Never experienced being on my own really. There is so much fear about being alone. And trying to figure out how to support me and 3 children. I have questioned his faithfulness bc he is gone so much and i dont know where he is most the time. Cant say for sure if he is. Im praying for strength and peace but i feel lost.

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Am so sorry all this is happening to u just before Christmas. And I always fear being alone too than I had to realize am so use to loving everybody and helping everybody but when I need someone where have they gone too sometimes we all need some along time to get to know yourself all over again did u know your marriage was ending

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Yes I knew it was going to end. It has been rough for a long time. It has been a constant mind game. full of tears and anger. I have lost myself somewhere in the mix. I have let myself become so angry and jealous. I struggle with having everything in my head and still trying to be a mom. I know my kids are going to be upset, that upsets me. I love my kids. Im trying to hold faith as much as I can its just hard sometimes. I am looking forward to find myself again. And let go of all this anger i have. Thankyou for reaching out

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You’re welcome

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Welcome LBPgmail, I'm so sorry to hear of what you're going through. I wish I have the magic words for you, with 3 children I don't understand why are you the one that's moving out, to me that just add more to your anxiety, can you talk to him about him moving out instead? I have high anxiety so I understand what you're going through. Do you have an attorney? If not , you need to hire one, you have 3 children don't let him give you whatever he feels like giving you monetary support and would also ask for spousal support, that's why you need an attorney to make sure everything is in black and white and legal! Be strong! May God be with you and bless you. 💛

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Thankyou! We have talked about it some. He told me and the kids he was going to go stay at his moms. That lasted two days. I never know if he will be there or not anymore. I am trying hard not to act like it bothers me. I plan to move closer to my dad but soon. My dad said he will help me get an attorney but i dont have one yet

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I’ve been there. Sometimes getting out and away from him is easier. I lived that hell by cohabiting and I could only tolerate it for a week. Kids are smart and KNOW you’re upset. It’s in the air. My family too was one-sided... on his! ( lots of reasons)... surround yourself with anyone who cares ( even this forum)...get out of the house and let HIM see YOUR comings and goings. Us women take the cra@, worry about kids, neighbors, friends. Hah.... time to stop that! ( i did what u are doing.... not helpful for you). Find a joy.... any joy, and do it!! ( listen, not preaching here, i truly understand and care about your pain....!) I’ll always listen to you!!

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I reread what i just wrote. Clearly I’m still angry. I’m sorry you are feeling so confused. I realize how difficult this is. Please take care of yourself the best way you know how. Your Dad sounds supportive.... maybe lean on him. I have legal answers for you about money. My X controlled it all also. I learned quickly how to resolve that. Attorney, or simply file... when he’s served you will get spousal support. Everything thats “his” is 1/2 yours.

I hope u find peace... peace from your situation and in your heart. Be strong and know that there are many people who do care. 🤗

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Thankyou so much! I am scared about everything. Im so glad I found this group

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Don't sign any papers without your attorney present and get one soon. Everything is going to be ok. Be patient.

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Thankyou! Im scared but working on it

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I am so sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. My heart sure goes out to you and your family. I, too, went through a similar situation. My husband and I separated after 11 years of marriage, and I moved 3,000 miles away with my two small children. I needed the moral support and help with the boys that my parents and family offered. It was scary, lonely, and I felt that I had failed at marriage; and I missed my husband. I was always hoping and praying for reconciliation. It is such a time of heartache.

I’m so glad that you tried counseling with your husband, and on your own. I am such an advocate for marriage that it is often difficult to think about any other choice. I pray that you find the peace and strength that you are seeking. The Lord has been a true refuge for me, and my hope is that you can find your solace there, too.

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Thankyou so much! I am so scared of moving. But I dont know what else to do. My dad has been my rock through this so Im glad it will atleast be closer to him. I believe in God and I pray for strength

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I am so glad you have faith. It is one area of our lives that never changes. The Lord is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Right! Do you have a church family there that you can talk with and that your kids can interact with? Our Church has a social media group that truly is a great resource.

I'm glad you are finding some joy in shifting your focus on something fun; like looking at Christmas lights. It is really helpful.

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I do not attend church although my faith is still strong. Just havent found one that felt right yet. But I believe in and love the lord. Thankyou💓

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Going through crushing anxiety on top of depression. At work I got targeted, bullied, resulting in the toxicity giving me toxic workplace exacerbated depressive, anxiety and ptsd disorders. Discovered too that my marriage partner and our loveless marriage is toxic as well. We are separating, after the holidays as well. My situation feels like my heart is going to explode and I am on a disability pension as I can’t work as the people at my workplace had bullied me (psychologically and) physically causing further injury to my spine, neck, brain and now I am in constant physical pain. I have flashbacks of the workplace bullying. My wife too is mean to me and I tried to reach out to a friend who said she loved me but she turned around and backstabbed me. My head is spinning. I empathize with your situation. My bp skyrocketed and I’m trying to lower that naturally as well. I’m fretting because the cost of living in Vancouver Canada is too expensive to afford, so I’m looking to leave - maybe go south in my van and live in a commune or somewhere peacefully. Do they still have those in Southern California or Florida where you can live off the land, raise your families safely and supportively in a self sustaining way and off grid. I live in a cooperative, I could offer a lot of my expertise as I’m an upstanding member of the board. I want to leave here as my wife wants me out because I’ve lost my job (unfairly) and I had fallin in love with my coworker who then turned around and she used me and backstabbed me. I hate the cold here in Canada. I love the American people and your country. Please give me some feedback. I know this isn’t a dating site but rather a sight to help with mental health, but I live with a partner from hell and I feel loveless in Vancouver bc. Looking for a safe comune in United States or anywhere in the world so I can heal from my traumas and depression. I’m a very loving kind hearted man and raised two children into responsible adults. I lost my job due to bullies injuring my mental health and well-being into several nervous breakdowns and feel my present partner if I don’t leave soon will wreck me more. You sound like you need support for anxiety and depression. I feel sense of humor telling good jokes helps a bit for me. I have an old therapy dog who loves me unconditionally. Have you tried breathing exercises for anxiety attack. Breath slowly 6 deep breaths over a period of 1 minute to help relieve panic.

❤️Unbreakmyheartseeker

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Hi Unbreak! I ‘m sorry that you’re in such an unhappy situation. Please think long and hard b4 u move to the US. Our medical system is deeply flawed in all areas, ESPECIALLY mental health! I was looking into moving TO Canada! I have outrageous medical bills due to a degenerative disease. Instead of going on a nice vacation, or get-away... I’m stuck paying through the nose on these bills. Weigh all your options b4 you act! In the meantime, spend your days surrounded by positive people!! Bullying on any level is just wrong!! I’m sorry you are suffering! Keep reaching out to people!

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Hi lastnerve. I understand the poor healthcare systems there. Here mental health help is virtually unavailable as well. Politics have closed mental health facilities and the downtown east side of Vancouver BC is full of poor folk who have been cut off of support. My stepson was one of 128 fatal Fentanyl overdoses/in the month of January, in fact on January 1, 2018. Its bad all over.

His mom suffers, but she also treats me so badly that it’s impossibld for me to heal and we have separated, but due to cold weather and cost of housing being astronomical, I have no choice but to tread water here.

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I am SO SORRY for the loss of your stepson. How awful! Sounds to me like you need to grieve and heal... but let yourself off the hook too.Please know that I support you and wish you well. I have no answers, only compassion for what you’re experiencing!

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Thank you. I’ve always been an empath. One can tell one’s children that certain bad choices can cause outcomes that can be tragic. Young people tend to feel entitled to so much and they might listen to warnings, but if these warnings don’t register, or even if they are suffering with mental health issues, a parents warnings don’t get through. Grieving is hard work. I’m a broken man. Very painful.

Lovely to know your supporting me morally/spiritually. I felt I could relate to people in this group. I too wish I had answers. Just to know people care and offer kind support helps me to carry on. I look back at where I’ve been; I think from age 30 to 54/55 was bumpy enough, and then started preparing to enter in to building for the future. Now looking through a thick fog of confusion, reaching out through this fog touching those in worse or not so worse situations is what i need to do.

I wish you healing, prosperity and love from my broken heart. It’s in pieces but that’s how the light shines through. We have to spread love, kindness and look after one another.

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Im sorry you are going through so much. I know how much that hurts, trust me. I pray God gives you strength to move on. Thankyou for support

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Oh and canada is so much nicer tho! Not missing much where im from haha. I do breathing excercises sometimes it helps sometimes not. Just depends on how bad my anxiety gets. Panic attacks are a whole other ball game and never fun. I try to keep busy and do stuff with the kids to make my anxiety go down... It is hard in the mist of everything but it keeps my anxiety from turning into depression. Someone on here recommended finding joy in something...tonight I took the kids to see xmas lights...it was nice. Going to try to find something positive to do everyday and maybe it will help some

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LBP... I suggested joy in just seeing the lights!!It’s always worked well for me and I’m so happy that it worked for you!! Do it again! Drive around and have everyone pick their favs! Yay for you!! Way to take control and act positively! So many times I let anxiety win... but lately I’m trying to be the winner! You were def the winner by finding some JOY, as little or big as it may be!! So happy for you! ❤️🎄

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Your advice helped me push myself to go do something positive. It took me a second to try to relax but I ended up having a great night with the kids. And it got me out of the house and gave me a break from what I got going on for a sec Thankyou for the advice!

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Glad you had a good evening. Canada 🇨🇦 was better at an earlier time. I see so much political corruption here. I applied for retirement benefits (disability), and will need to seek out a less expensive country to live as the benefits do not match what I commanded in a skilled career that I held for over a decade, let alone cover living costs. Been professional in different careers throughout my life. The last one ended with a bang as explained. Too much trauma intentionally to undermine my career. People can be evil.

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People can be evil... but also wonderful! I choose to believe the latter! Try to put your trust in someone or something worthy! There really are special and kind people in this world! You’re on a site where there’s thousands!! We’re all here to support you! ( i try an experiment when i go grocery shopping... when i get to the checkout... I smile big and sincerely ask how her day is going! ( you have to really want to know, otherwise don’t ask!).... it ALWAYS elicits a lengthy response. I have a short conversation with her, validate her feelings, then wish her well! I leave feeling good about trying to make someone else’s day better. I can get stuck wallowing in my own ugly issues.... when its so nice to think about someone else for a change. It brings me happiness! Everyone deserves a smile and a kind word. Somtimes some things so simple can really make a difference!!

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Yes ppl can be evil! But not everyone. Find ppl that are positive or likeminded to be around. I hope things start getting better for you. Praying for you!

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I am very grateful for you and what insight and wise words you have given me. Thank you.

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💓same here! Im always here if you need to talk

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