I am not going to vent in this post but rather post something that I hope helps everyone.
I am a Muslim and in our stories of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), when he was bestowed with Prophethood and the order to preach Islam, his hometown turned against him and drowned him in hate. A woman used to throw garbage on him, thorns and nails were laid out on the path he expected to take and on the death of his son, he was taunted and mocked. He would stand on a mountain and think about jumping off because he thought he was delusional until Angel Gabriel (Jibrael) appeared in human form and reminded him of his purpose.
What i learnt from this was that God/Allah created us with a purpose. A good healthy purpose to leave a positive mark after our deaths. One thing that kept me going was that I had a purpose; to become a good Muslim. Other than religion, my purpose was to create comfort and happiness, to be a mother and a wife and raise children with good hearts into this world so they could carry on spreading positivity.
Secondly, I started to eat healthy. I'm still chubby because I have a slow metabolism, but now after eating a diet with fruits and vegetables I feel happier and more motivated to live longer. I found myself loving my body more.
I also started giving myself goals: how to bake a perfect cookie, cook a whole meal, clean out my room. I started appreciating even small things: such as the weather being good, having sufficient money and knowing I am in perfect health with no birth defects. That has helped me tremendously.
These are the things that helped me. Oftentimes I relapse but I remember that 8 went through horrible pain but I came out and I came out happier. I know it won't last and I'm determined to beat something that had the audacity to make me think I wasn't good enough.
I hope things get better for each and every one of you. I hope this helps ❤