Helpless and hurting

[Kshisiali48]

My mother has schizophrenia, depression and bipolar disorder. She stopped taking some of her medications a few weeks ago and had to be admitted to the hospital. She has been relatively stable for the past 20yrs. Well she has at least been functional. She has been in the hospital for over a week now. She is still refusing to take two medications that will help her with her mania and psychosis. I visited her lastnight . It was one of the most painful experiences. She was too paranoid to even allow me to hug her. Nothing that she said made sense. When I left, the staff and security had to prevent her from trying to escape. My mother has been my only family support. On top of this, I have a child with autism, going through a divorce and trying to juggle working a full time stressful job. I struggle with depression and anxiety. I am taking medications for these conditions. However, I am struggling to hold on. I am hurting so bad emotionally. I don’t want to turn back to coping in unhealthy ways.

[Iloveart7]

I'm sorry that you are having such an hard time. I imagine that its extremely hard to see your mother like that. (((Hugs)))

[Kshisiali48 in reply to Iloveart7]

Thank you 😊

[Kittykat2]

❤️❤️🌺 X

[Kshisiali48]

Thank you

[fauxartist]

I am so very sorry yourself, and your mother and your son all are dealing with so much, it's just not fair...and your trying so hard to support yourself and your son. If there are any kind of support groups you could go to, even if it's just for an hour a week that you can share about life with an autistic child, or growing up with a parent with schizophrenia, so that you have others to relate to, possibly learn coping skills and at least have others who understand what your dealing with. Therapy is great...but I personally got more sometimes out of a group situation. I understand self medication as well....and if your talking about drinking....I've been in recovery for a very long time, and it's still one day at a time. There is no alternative for me to self medicate with alcohol again....it's a depressant, even though the first few drinks are euphoric, the rest are just a slow side down to hell for me and I know for others who also have the disease of depression.

I'm glad your sharing here, and your not alone....

[Kshisiali48]

Thank you for the advice. I have been self medicating with alcohol, over eating and shopping. I will look into support groups.