“People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. But people are wrong. Depression is the constant feeling of being numb. Being numb to emotions, being numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again. Days aren’t really days; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced. And how do you face them? Through medication, through drinking, through smoking, through drugs, through cutting. When you’re depressed, you grasp on to anything that can get through the day. That’s what depression is, not sadness or tears, it’s the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next.”
“Often the people with the strongest hearts carry the heaviest ones.”
Written by
tamka38
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Depression is darkness filling your heart, surrounding your soul. Everything takes so much energy. People around you don’t understand, you’re doing the best you can Responsibilities overwhelm, expectations you can’t meet weigh heavily, Sorrow fills you until there is no room for anything else. Strength to fight, to find joy and love, slowly seeps from your soul. Endless days without hope loom before you, enveloping you in the darkness.”
“I’m hurt, and I’m heartbroken, and I’m sad, and I’m depressed, and I have been crying, but I don’t want to let it ruin my life.”
My heart breaks for you tamka. You express yourself quite well using words that can
make me feel your pain and emptiness. The last few words you wrote "but I don't want to let it ruin my life" make me feel that you could with the right treatment overcome this pain. I'm sure there are others on this forum who have gone or are
going through the same. There's got to be an answer. I just don't know enough to
I completely understand and feel it daily. My depression is like a roller coaster. I can go a day, a week, a month, or a year, every day just trying to make it to the next. On the other hand I can do the same times on the positive side. I never know when it will hit me.
It helps me a LOT! I know it does based on the few times I said "I'm fine!" Well the reason I was fine was because of the medication. I went off them and it was not good. My depression often manifests as extreme anger and rage. Thankfully I've never hurt anyone but I've come way to close and it scares me!
I'm on it now. Hopefully I've learned my lesson this time. Lol. The longest was when the psychiatrist reduced my dose. That lasted 10 months till a new psychiatrist upped it to where it used to be. I've defined that ten months as the lowest time ever. In the middle of that 10 months I had a brain bleed and nearly died. After that panic attacks came like I've never felt before. I never want to experience it again.
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I'm sorry, tamka. But I'm so glad we can all relate to each other and find support here! I hope you take that support with you! I'm sending you a hug.
To the person who feels trapped in their own mind and body:
Trying to leave my depressed husband
I am fighting for peace of mind. 
Healthy body, healthy mind
Living with depression. 
