Classes: I have the ability to drop a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Classes

iriss
iriss

I have the ability to drop a class that is giving me a ton of stress. This class is an AP class and it is hard for me to keep up with the work because most days I feel very depressed and unable to do anything but lay around.

The only problem is that I want to have a high class rank because I feel like I need the validation of people knowing that I am smart to feel smart. I don’t think I’m smart or good enough by myself and if other people say I am then it sort of nudges me towards believing it. (I know this is unhealthy but I don’t know how to change it right now)

I also don’t want the students to ask questions because I know for a fact that they are all nosy and would ask a ton of questions about me switching classes. This makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want it to happen. People at my school would also be nosy to the point of being mean about it and I don’t want that either.

I might be more stressed if I switch classes because we are learning about two completely different topics, and I missed a lot of what that class has already learned. I’d have to catch up and I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know what to do.

I’m not bad at the class that I am in currently but it takes a lot of time and effort and lately I haven’t been motivated to do anything but lay down. Right now I’m cramming and doing an entire assignment that’s due tomorrow when I had Friday-today to work on it.

3 Replies
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iriss, I have been where you are. I think your physical and mental health are what are most important. The people that need to stay in your life will value you for you and the others will not be in your life forever. I hope that you can be proud of yourself for the efforts that you put in. I am very proud of you, as I am a student also and know how difficult those classes are. Try to enjoy your journey and take pride in all that you have accomplished and are working towards. You can do this. I believe in you!

iriss
iriss
in reply to APOR2017

I don’t feel proud of myself at all because all I see is being too depressed and messed up to do a class that I should be able to take. I know the other people aren’t worth it but I don’t want to deal with them being mean and I don’t want to hear the whispers and the gossip because it will make me feel worse about myself. I feel like I’m stupid and not good because I want to drop this class. There’s also not enough room in the other class and I might have to sit with the people who would be mean to me. I don’t want to do that either. I’d rather suffer and have a mental breakdown every night than have to sit by people who will put me down like that.

Hi iriss, I can relate to your story. I was actually supposed to go to boarding school for high school and I thought it would make me seem so smart and get me into a great college, and a good job, etc... But once I was actually there I became depressed and so anxious that after a day I left the boarding school and after two weeks stopped going to classes there. I enrolled in my local high school where everyone knew who I was (we had all gone to elem. and middle school together) and I had to face everyone knowing I left boarding school. It was hard at first but I ended up graduating at the top of my class and going on to get my masters degree and a job I love even if the high school I went to wasn't as prestigious and neither was my undergrad college. Do what is best for your mental health. One class won't change your life in the long term but it can make all the difference in the short term. Take the easier class and feel better about your life today. People may ask why you switched and just say it wasn't a good fit for you. High school is so hard but I promise you it will get better.

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