I have the ability to drop a class that is giving me a ton of stress. This class is an AP class and it is hard for me to keep up with the work because most days I feel very depressed and unable to do anything but lay around.
The only problem is that I want to have a high class rank because I feel like I need the validation of people knowing that I am smart to feel smart. I don’t think I’m smart or good enough by myself and if other people say I am then it sort of nudges me towards believing it. (I know this is unhealthy but I don’t know how to change it right now)
I also don’t want the students to ask questions because I know for a fact that they are all nosy and would ask a ton of questions about me switching classes. This makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want it to happen. People at my school would also be nosy to the point of being mean about it and I don’t want that either.
I might be more stressed if I switch classes because we are learning about two completely different topics, and I missed a lot of what that class has already learned. I’d have to catch up and I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know what to do.
I’m not bad at the class that I am in currently but it takes a lot of time and effort and lately I haven’t been motivated to do anything but lay down. Right now I’m cramming and doing an entire assignment that’s due tomorrow when I had Friday-today to work on it.