This is the last year of trying to have my own family. My ex was abusive to all of us, more to my girls than me. It took over 20 years before I regained our life.
Now it’s too late they are grown and even the ex is not there for company now. I have options but none that were my choice. I don’t know how you get forgiveness from your children. I did stick up for them. I even jumped in front of the punches. It’s depressing when your on anti depression drugs and your still depressed.
Well if the one dr is right I will either be dead or not know anyone next year at this time. Your health only holds out so long. I get reprimanded at my age for Diet Pepsi and cigarettes. I can’t see how quitting now would give me much more time. I’m alone again tonight and just wanted to vent.
Written by
Bjo51
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It sounds like you're having an extremely rough time and I'm sorry to hear that. They say "blood is thicker than water" for a reason though, and I believe with some help (possibly of the professional variety in the way of family counselling) reconciliation could be achieved. I have no doubt that your daughters grew up thinking you failed to protect them, and probably resent you for it. To what degree I don't know, and to what degree they are suffering due to your inaction or legitimate inability to act I don't know either...but they are alive. So on some level, regardless of your failures and successes, they survived. Getting past these kinds of things is not a walk in the park but again, therapy can help expedite that quite a bit.
I think it's nice that you did your best under trying circumstances. Perhaps try keeping the lines of communication open (i.e. positive texts, etc) and being forgiving to all (and yourself may be a start). But thank you for sharing and do know that you do matter here.
I’m so sorry you had to live this with your daughters. Everyone does the best they can with what they have at the time. The other responses are great. I feel your pain because the emit abuse in my own life is horrible. No physical, which makes it seem invisible.
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I’m in a dark hole that I keep making deeper
I’m at my breaking point 
I'm tired of being tired and tired of trying
I’m so tired of hurting
I’m tired of suffering 
