New to Relationships : I got into a... - Anxiety and Depre...

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New to Relationships

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I got into a relationship with someone after a month of knowing them- which I think was my first mistake. Also it was my first relationship, meaning it was a new experience for me. The entire time we have been dating, I would get small anxiety attacks about him actually liking me, or if I am being too much, or if this is all just a game and I am being played with. I never told him that though. I would always play things off as nonchalantly as possible. But things recently changed, drastically. I knew this relationship was going to be short term due to the fact that I was going to be in a different state for an entire month and there was a chance he would get deployed. So this wasn’t new but the timeline changed when he told me he was going to Seattle and then said he probably won’t be back until he gets deployed, this last part was said during what could be the last time I ever see him again. Do you know what we didn’t do during the last time we saw each other, talk about whether this was over, or if he actually wanted to see me again before he got deployed? We also didn’t address that this was the last time we would be seeing each other. And now I don’t know how to feel. I knew he wasn’t the one, I knew that he wasn’t even a good match for me and I started to lose that affect for him, but something about upheaving the whole pre planned time line and then not addressing the finality of it all, kills some part of me. Makes me wonder if I meant anything to him. Or if I was just an inconvenience with slight benefits.

I would be grateful for advice, comments, insight, anything to help me understand what I am feeling and why.

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