Wife feels like giving up

[Wifesupport]

I’ve been married a long time to my husband who I love and support. His ups and downs- challenges with staying employed and his withdrawn behaviour has continued to cause us issues throughout our lives. I’m having a hard time not resenting it and feeling like giving up on him. What do other caregivers do to get through this ongoing tough times?

[Hidden]

Take yourself away from it every so often and make time for yourself.

[kenster1]

its really hard being a caregiver to a loved on specially a husband/wife does he socialise with friends at all.how does the family support him.i think you maybe need a few hours to yourself every week or so just to relax and do something for yourself.

[MommaA]

It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Whenever I get frustrated or overwhelmed with it I try and intentionally take a step back and remember it isn’t anything he can control and needs my support. But I also remember that it is entirely normal and acceptable to feel frustrated and over it.

[Wifesupport in reply to MommaA]

It helps to know that others also go through this. I know he can't help it and it isn't something he is doing to me. I feel guilty that I sometimes feel sorry for myself that I too have to constantly deal with this. Most people still do not really understand or even have any comprehension of how challenging it is to live with someone with highs and lows- happy and then totally withdrawn. I feel guilty leaving him when he goes through this, and he is very private so doesn't share with his friends. He prefers to simply be along, sleep or read. Hard to go away and see friends, etc. because then I worry.

[MommaA in reply to Wifesupport]

Exactly! And I don’t think there is any right answer for how to deal with it. We have our highs and lows right along with them...It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. My husband has not gone to see a professional outside of a social worker/therapist type person and is choosing to work through it on his own rather than seek further help at this point, so I have taken the role as his sole supporter. I of course will always be there to help him get through everything every day, but it is so exhausting. And people definitely don’t realize how challenging it is and just expect you to be there without any complaints. Hang in there!