I’m so tired of hurting: Everyone keeps... - Anxiety and Depre...

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I’m so tired of hurting

BlueAurora profile image

Everyone keeps saying I have to be strong I have to be empowered I have to put in all this work to feel better. But I’m just so tired and worn out from feeling like this. I panic all day everyday. I just want to curl up in bed. I don’t feel like I have any fight in me. I’m so negative all the time. I don’t know how to stop. I can’t stop.

I’m just so tired of hurting....

10 Replies

I'm sorry you are feeling like that. It sure is exhausting, isn't it? And I'm never quite sure what people mean when they say to be empowered. If I could, I already would be, right?! Don't worry about being strong today, just decide to wake up tomorrow morning.

BlueAurora profile image
BlueAurora in reply to

Thank you I needed that

Be empowered? Be strong? Just crap spoken by people who can't understand. While it may work for them, they aren't experiencing the level of pain you are. They are saying 'Put a band-aid on it' when you need a tourniquet. You won't find this group using those words. We experience what you are going through, and some of us have been able to help others through a trying time.

Do you know what triggered this bout of anxiety? Or has it just been developing over a long period of time. I have found that sometimes just going back over the evolution of the episode allows me to look at it more reasonably, and relieve at least some of the anxiety.

Do you see a therapist, or take meds? If you see a therapist, and have been religious about keeping your appointments, asking for an emergency session may help. If you've been missing appointments, that may be the cause. Ask for an emergency session, and then keep on track. If you are taking meds, ask for an emergency appointment with your provider, and see if a change will help. If you've been skipping your doses, just getting back on track may be the answer.

I sincerely wish I had more to offer you. But, you do have my hopes for relief and love.

Yeah I do all of that. I’m in a program right now. I’ve dealt with anxiety since 2012. And yes most of it is situational. My husband is gone for a week and he is the only person who doesn’t suffer like we do that actually tries to understands and makes me feel better. So him not being here is really cause a lot of it. I take my meds on everyday I don’t skip. I see a therapist. But I just feel so shitty for lack of better word. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like fighting. I mean I won’t give up but I just want to lay here until he gets back. And I feel so silly saying that but it’s true. And everyone keeps making it out to be my fault because I don’t change my thinking. I don’t think positive. I’m not being strong. I was fighting with this before he left so it’s been a while I’ve been fighting and I’m just tired. Him leaving just made it worse. This is the worst my anxiety , depression, and panic has ever been in my life

Also thank you for taking your time to respond.

The reason we are depressed and feel anxious is because we CAN'T just change our thinking. If it were that easy, we'd do it. In a heartbeat! This is not a pleasant way to live. These people aren't being intentionally unkind. They truly can't understand our situation. They CAN just change their thinking, walk in the woods, etc., and they're fine. So, since they are coming from a place of ignorance, we need to ignore them. Difficult, yes. But, we need to try.

Have you talked to your Dr or therapist about your deep depression when your husband leaves? They may be able to help you through these times. Do you know why his travelling affects you so deeply? I was kidnapped when I was 8, and now feel unprotected and anxious especially when alone. I've also been on the sofa for days. I know what you're experiencing because I'm the same.

I, too, have a husband who doesn't understand, either, but does all he can to help me. He literally saved my life this summer, getting me the help I needed when I asked for it, No hesitation. There can be no greater gift than to have people like these so intimately in our lives.

Hope your husband gets home early.

Yeah I know. And when I tell them I can’t just do it they just say well you have to practice. And I’m like DUDE I can’t think of doing anything when I’m in a panic! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I was just upset about him leaving this time because my anxiety was already bad and he made me feel safe. And I didn’t want to lose that. Even if only for 10 days. I also don’t like to be alone. I’m sorry that happened to you when you were younger.

And yes I hope he comes home soon too.

It seems to me he trusted you to be able to handle your stress this time, because he has seen you do it before. Hang on to that. And, please don't feel you failed. Sliding backwards is part of the healing process. If we don't slide, we don't learn, and we set ourselves up for a big, big slide later. Hopefully, this will allow you to 'go with' the slide, and learn what you can from it. I know that sometimes, if I fight the downturn too hard, I get myself into a place that is hard to dig out of. It is not 'bad' that you are anxious and depressed. It just is. So put on some favorite music, lay down on the sofa, admit you are depressed, and then concentrate on the music. Uncomfortable thoughts may enter your mind. Acknowledge that they are bad thoughts, then try to let the music flow in to fill up your mind. This takes practice and patience. The anxiety and depression may not fade, but maybe they will. At any rate, you listened to great music.

May your day be filled with beautiful music.

Thank you for the suggestion. It’s definitely hard to silence the negative thoughts in my mind. That’s what gets me so wound up most of the time.

I understand that what I suggested, and what I do, is called meditation. I don't play songs, just music. Songs have words that may send me down a path I don't want to go. If I hum softly with the music, I find it's harder to let the bad thoughts in. Success! Please let me know if this works for you.

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