Ouch

[Rosezz1]

I am 43, married, no kids. I have been almost completely debilitated by depression, self loathing due to aging and filled with anxiety. My husband is 32 so it can be difficult for him to understand. I am having a hard time being able to be a good wife cause I can't seem to pull my head up out of this shit. I feel worthless, fat, ugly and I don't want to leave my house. WTF. This sucks, always on the verge of crying and I have no libido. I am suppose to see a psychologist or something at the end of the month but for now for the first time in my life I can't manage my emotions. Anyone else gone or going through anything similar?

[RosalieVonDee]

Yes. I am quite familiar with this set of feelings/emotions. I am also chronically debilitated by depression and anxiety and cannot leave my house or even the couch for days at a time. There has been 2 relationships that essentially ended due to my issues. They did not understand, or even try to. Altho it is lonely - I am so much happier now I dont have to put on the happy face and pretend like I give a shit about something and having to answer to someone, having to defend myself constantly. Its so so hard being in a relationship with someone with this dynamic. They end up taking it all personally and either try to White Knight you - think they can fix all your problems only to fail - or they resent you. I am glad to hear you are seeing a professional at the end of the month. Its good if you are trying to go the meds route, but honestly talk therapy didnt do shit for depression. Cognitive Behavior Therapy worked some for anxiety and panic attacks. But I still am in extreme depression and with it crazy insomnia I have had for a year and a half straight. None of the meds are working and essentially I have zero hope this will get any better. I dont see a solution right now. Good luck - I wish I had more to offer you. One thing - you do not have to defend your feelings or your condition to anyone. They are legitimate and so are you. Do what you need to take care of you for that moment, and so what if it offends or pisses someone else off. Its not "selfish" - its self care. Hang in there.

[Rosezz1 in reply to RosalieVonDee]

Thank you.

[Delanna]

Ladies and gentlemen first I like to announce that no women is ugly . Sorry woman your words are ugly by calling yourself ugly *hug*

It is totally ok to feel some changes yes might be due to hormones might be due to many things

Age is just a number they say but your value beats it

Now if you are worried about libido are you in any form of SSRI they could inhibit libido or vise versa increase. There are g shots and o shots and natural remedies to boost up libido. REMEMBER it is up to you to do anything with your own body .

Your husband should consider your emotions because yes there is an age gap between you two but it does not mean you shouldn't be expressive.

[Rosezz1]

Today is so strange, I feel like I am in a dream that is not mine. Everything just feels off. I suppose this could all be situational. Is it normal to feel like this? I have felt more lucid on mushrooms when i was young than I do now. Overwhelmingly disconnected. Could it be premenopausal hormone imbalances or is this yet another new symptom of whatever it ou s I am going through?