Hi Everyone... Let me introduce myself...

[Findingstrength]

Hi. I'm Jen. I suffer from Manic Depression, P.T.S.D. Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

My soon to be ex-husband was an abusive man. I was married to him 13 years. We were together almost 20 years. Met in High school. 4 kids together. Ages, 21, 19, 16 & 15....

Separated for 7 years. Doesn't file for divorce till this year, because he's engaged.

Of course, with any situation there are more details. But, those are the basic ones.

Since getting the papers my anxiety has gotten worse. My panic attacks have increased. My nightmares never really went away. They never do.

Getting back into therapy. I know its a good thing. For myself and the kids.

But, with sessions almost 3 weeks apart; well I need more sessions. My youngest daughter is dealing with being Agoraphobia.. So, she sees her therapist every Friday.

Wow.. That's a lot of info. Sorry. Lol

Well, Hi. Have a good Monday everyone.

Also, I'm a Photographer trying to get that going. Its my passion.

[fauxartist]

It's really difficult to juggle the family and go through a divorce...it's exactly what we are doing in my house as the ex- wants to re-marry now. And the reality is....the divorce really brings up all the bad stuff you worked over the last 7 years to put behind you enough to continue with dealing with your kids. I would for sure see about getting a once a week appointment as it was explained to me that going through a divorce can be like experiencing a death. Even if it's mutual...there was history. I'm glad you have photography in your life, and when all is said and done....and the kids are through it as well...hopefully you can pursue it more. It is a positive reinforcement and a great outlet.

[gbrickhouse]

Hey, I definately know what your going through, divorced now for about 12 years, had a very bad divorce with 3 you children, the oldest was 5, I went Manic during this time and all I wanted was my children, and being Manic, I didnt not se anything I could to get them, went to jail twice because of the protective order against me when she filed three days after she told me she wanted a seperation, her layer lied on the order stating that I had a gun in the house, and she feared for her life, which was such a lie, I hadnt had a gun in the house sincee we started to have chidren, so no contact for me, but that didnt matter to me and contacted her twice about my children and she had me thrown in Jail twice, which, if yoou understand manic behaviour only made me more manic. Never wanted to hurt her, the fight was over the children. I lost in court, told off the judge and swore at her lying lawyer, who lied about everything. She depleted all my funds inour accounts before she told me she wanted to seperate, I had my own business and I could even work, so I was left with no money for a lawyer, so I represented myself. Bad ideal, since she ired the most expensive lawyer in town, who happened to have a reputation as a "man hater".

It hasbeen 12 years and we are only now talking, everything beforre went through my mother, who would sugar coat everything. I reached out to her about 6 months ago, and told he what wouldd it take to get along for our children, and she said she wanted an apology for everything I put her through, can you believe this, whatI put her through, she totally destryedmy life and now im on Disbility because of my b polar, and she wanted me to apologize? I thought about it for a few days, and decided to Buck up and apologize, even though I didnt feel I had to, but that made the difference with her, we are now raising our children together, so you got to do some things in life that you dont like!

[PapillonLove]

I am so sorry for all you are dealing with! Good for you, getting involved in your Photography....What a wonderful outlet! I can relate to your PTSD, since as a child I was abused in every way, then abuse seemed to follow me whether it be by bosses, family members, etc. Most recently, a Marriage Engagement to a very Narcissistic man broken off just over 1 year ago. He really USED Me UP! I know it is very difficult, but you WILL find the strength you need to get through all this. Yes, the more often you can "talk it out" in appointments, the better for you and the children. Even a Divorce requires a Grieving Period afterwards, similar to a Death. It's a "Rebuild Yourself process". I hope you're able to do that. You will be in my thoughts!

[writingforjoy]

I am so sorry your anxiety has increased. I love that you are into photography, your passions can be so freeing. I seek out photography, painting, worship and some anxiety relaxation techniques.

I pray that your heart gets some peace in this next journey. Yes seeking your therapist is a great idea! Best wishes

[Findingstrength in reply to writingforjoy]

Thank-you so much. I have very little time to get on here. So, its nice to see all the replies. I feel less "crazy" knowing I'm not the only one feeling totally overwhelmed.

Sometimes at work, I break down and cry a little. I try not to do that at home. I don't want the kids to see me like that.

Thanks again. 😊