I am a 76 year old woman.Not in good health.I have a 42 year daughter.She is very successful,she has been my whole life.The only family I have,with her her 2 daughters .my own fault i have given her most of my life savings.She would take the last dime I had,stupid me would give it to her.Now that she has gotten most everything I have.She has become very hateful and mean to me.This has been going on a few years.Due to this I have become depressed and have terrible anxiety. I thought I was being a good mother by giving her ever thing she wanted. Instead she became a self centered selfish person.She has told me,she would not take care of me not for one day when I got sicker.I HAVE NO ONE. My feelings toward my daughter is not very good. I love my granddaughters,they are very kind to me.They are just teenagers.I HAD TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.I BLAME MYSELF.
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I like what curlybacks said. If she is so "successful" why is she taking your money? You have learned that you cannot buy her love. I am not a parent , but I couldn't imagine treating someone this way. This is not your fault- she needs to learn to grow up.
Sorry to read how your love for your child has not worked out in a positive manner. I too am 76 and have only one son, who I do not know as he was taken from me when only a few months old, by his father, who in turn left him at age 3. Such lives we live. My son is well adjusted (I found him with some search) but to my dismay found a quadriplegic. So I think I can understand your pain, as mine was great. I live my own life and like you have no one close to me. At least you have two lovely granddaughters. Can you join a club, do volunteer work, or find a part time job - this will help you get out of yourself. You may need some medication to help with your anxiety and depression, I am now coming out of a bad bought and intend to get back into volunteer work. I am also on med's and the Dr. has just got me on a new set of med's that are working for me, I feel happy again and look forward to being around people, hoping I may make a new friend or two. I have 3 friends in Calif. but I left there 11 years ago, and have had poor luck at finding new friends - oh well. Life is difficult, so I do my best on any given day, come talk to us here, we will offer you support and encouragement there are some lovely people here and we Really care about each others well being. I send you love and support. Sprinkle 1......
Don't blame yourself, some people are just mean. If she was a good person it would not matter what you gave her , or did not give , she would still be kind. You said that your grandaughters are very kind to you, that is good as it means your daughter has not influenced them against you. Maybe things are not as bad as you imagine them to be. If she was really against you she could stop her daughtersseeing you. I think you could still put this right. Money , although important, is just money, your daughters love should be the aim. I wish you well and i hope things get better.
Don't blame yourself. But please now think of yourself - put you first for a time. Concentrate on getting well, fully rested and keeping yourself positively busy and distracted (by some new interest ?)
Give your daughter time and space.
Cherish your moments with your precious grandchildren but try to avoid saying anything about your daughter when they visit.
Hope you feel better soon (and she comes to her senses).
Thanks for your replies. Life is so hard I can live with the fact knowing I. Did my best with her. Yes, I have my grand daughter.We never discuss her.They have see her treat
me bad.I have grown use to bring alone.It is just knowing you have noone.Your. Replies mean so much to me.I now know there are people that cares.I have been feeling sorry for myself. Never knew old age could be so.
It is so hard to balance love and discipline and fairness and abundant giving! I'm so sorry she is treating you that way! I would say stay away till she misses you. You may find her coming to her senses and realizing that stuff doesn't bring happiness but just selfishness. Find your fulfillment in helping others but not financially. Volunteer w others in your area of education, experience and passion. You might be the lesson other Moms need to not give in to their children and make them selfish. Help others where you have learned, in a loving gentle way. You will find fulfillment and be the very person they need. You can't change the past, and you can't change people, only God can and they themselves. Remember to let your grand children know you love them, and are there when they need you, (not financially) to talk or be with. Hopefully she will realize before it's too late, but sadly many times they don't. Hugs!
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