Just getting this out

[Byelka]

Yesterday was a really hard day. I have two jobs right now. Yesterday I got out of work from my first job and went home to eat lunch. I had a few hours in between my first job and my second. During this time I broke down. My second job is new for me and I became so overwhelmed at the idea of going that I cried for an hour, almost called out sick, and almost called my husband to see if he could come home. Completely unlike myself and in the light of a new day not rational (at least to me). I got myself together enough to get ready for the next job and went in, it was fine, then went home. Felt perfectly fine for the rest of the day. I don't want to quit this job. It's something I'd like to keep doing and get good at. I'm just amazed at how drastically my mood and thoughts can change within one day. I don't think I've been fully up front about these mood changes with my husband/my therapist because by the time I see them I will be ok again and I tend to minimize my experience after the fact because I rationalize it. "that really wasn't so bad so I shouldn't mention it" etc. But at the time I feel like the world is ending.

[Lostbuthopeful]

I can relate to keeping those same thoughts and feelings to myself for the same reasons. In the end, it only did more damage. If I would’ve sought help from those around me sooner I could’ve saved a lot of failed relationships and heartache. You should really try opening up to your husband. He is your partner in life and I’m sure having his support and understanding will help so much, individually and maybe even as spouses. I understand it’s easier said than done, but give it a shot. Either way, I’m glad you decided to post on here because at least you are opening up and acknowledging these concerns. I hope everything works out for you. 💕

[MomLeslieM]

So sorry you felt that way about a new job you sound like you really are excited about! One thing that I have told my clients (I'm an Outpatient Therapist) is to keep a journal or note when you feel that way -- doesn't have to be a big long thing, you can even just use the calendar on your phone or make a note on your phone with the date and a few words about the feeling. Then just share those thoughts with your husband and more importantly with your therapist - that way they can really help you to formulate a plan for when the feelings occur. Remember - everything you say to your therapist is confidential and he or she has probably already heard it all - so don't be embarrassed or think that because the situation is over it was minimal. No matter what the fact that you WENT to the new job is a HUGE WIN with how you felt -- GREAT JOB on going despite how your feelings told you stay home!!